Shaun Groves
I’ve been trying, unsuccessfully, to write all day.
The heat is broken in my bonus room office so I can’t write there. The ideas and fingers of a Texan freeze at any temperature below 50 degrees.
The box of Christmas presents from grandparents arrived this morning and after it was unpacked by the kids the living room has been noisy. I sit on the sofa and try to line words up into sentences but there’s an acre of bubble wrap being popped all around me, and cats are running through brown paper strips and kids – lots and lots of kids – shriek all around.
So I scoot around the corner into my bedroom, sit on the bed, lower my head and go to work again. But there’s only a thin layer of sheetrock between me and the cats and the kids…and the popping…so it’s slow going. Start and stop and start and pop and start and…
The door opens.
“I don’t have anything to do,” he says.
“I’m working, son.”
“But I don’t-”
“When you tell me you’re bored what do I tell you?”
He only shrugs.
“I tell you it’s your work to play and make friends. It’s not my work. My work is trying to write something. Your job is to ask a friend to play or find a toy to play with or work a puzzle or draw me a picture. Go do your job.”
I try to write through the guilt and the questions about whether I was too hard on him…and then the singing begins.
The girls are blaring the soundtrack to Frozen from their bedroom ten feet away. And they’re singing loudly. Beautifully, but loudly.
I slip in the ear plugs and mutter a prayer for words. I consider Googling Adderall. I hear you can get it without a prescription from pharmacies in Canada. Hmmm.
The door opens. It’s him again.
“Is this important?” I ask.
He shrugs.
“I’m listening,” I say and close the laptop.
“I don’t have anything to do.”
Nothing to do. 900 days in a row. Fresh from shaking down grandparents for Christmas loot. Nothing to do?
I look at the floor. I take a deep breath in slowly..then out even more slowly…
“Listen, son. Look at my eyes so I know you’re listening.”
He opens his eyes wide and stares into mine.
“I love you very much. And I like you very much. I would love to play with you all day…every day. But I cannot play today. I’m working. You are going to find something to play and I am going to lock this door. Do not knock on this door unless your head is on fire. Do you understand?”
He nods and holds back a smile.
And this is why I didn’t get much work done today. Or about 100 days last year.
My goals are based on what I know I can accomplish with my God-given talent, intellect, passion, hard work and lots of help. But there is a gap between my goals and my reality. Today, in that gap were two hyperactive cats, two of my favorite singers in the world and a very bored six year-old.
One day my kids will move out. And take the cats with them. And I’ll get so much done. I’ll read entire books without pictures. I may even write a few.
But, my mom says, I’ll miss this noise. She’s been right about everything else. I have to keep telling myself that…and build a soundproof room onto the back of the house.
Kristina Marie says:
LOL!! I am laughing because this is exactly my life when trying to write songs. I can’t get the Frozen soundtrack out of my head! 🙂 Blessings!
Beth says:
This was my world for a long time. Now my “baby” is 14 and doesn’t ask for me to “play” with her too often. Thankfully she DOES ask to watch TV, read a book, cook, bake, shop, or just nap with me. The 24, 21 and 17 year old’s don’t do that often enough anymore. I’m kept “young’ by playing with my 3 year old grandson who happens to live with us. He’s all about playing, singing, reading, running, racing, and all that other noisy stuff that keeps me from getting anything else done and I’m so very blessed because of it! We’ll be blessed with another grandchild in June so I’ll be kept “young” for awhile yet. I miss the quiet when it’s absent at times too; and welcome it at others.
We just returned from a week with my in-laws. 85 and 78 now; and just the two of them at home. We brought our two youngest and the grandson along and their quiet routine was thrown a huge curve ball! “Come play with me; can I do that?; whatcha doin’?” and a million other words that came non-stop. Not to mention that he’s currently mastering the potty and must make a point to keep everyone informed that “his pants are HAPPY” because they’re DRY! They cry every time we leave because the silence is deafening. they get used to it again and then we visit again and it starts all over. I hope it never ends!
You will write great things; maybe even about bubble-wrap, kittens and noisy boys. I’m counting on it!
Kelli says:
This is me, identifying with everything you wrote. 🙂
Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect says:
Umm…did you get that part in writing? The part where they take the cats with them? Because…I’m just not sure it works that way… 🙂
Mary(Owlhaven) says:
Um. Yup. Sounds exactly like my life. And they may take the cats (I did when I moved out) but they also usually leave you with a whole lot of stuff that doesn’t fit in their new digs. And, if you’re lucky like my neighbor, maybe even a horse or two.
But you’re right– you miss them like crazy when they grow up, noise and all. So glad I still have elementary-schoolers at home wanting to hang out with me.
Mary, momma to many
Kris says:
Yeah, this sounds about right. I get about 20% of what I set out to accomplish on any given day, during these crazy days of homeschooling and being mom to my 4. Like your mom, others tell me I will miss it–I’m sure they are right. Just taking slow deep breaths and surrendering it daily to God. He knows what I’ve got to work with here.
Ps: missed your words.
Thomas Dalke says:
Oh, the wonderful distractions that come with parenthood! That said, I empathize with your plight because I too struggle with finding a quiet place, any place, where I can work in, and or meditate on God’s Word and hopefully come out with some meaningful insights. Yet within these kinds of “disquieting moments” that frequent our lives I believe God is working out something greater, and that is our persons being transformed into Christ-like character, and thus our being drawn closer to God and each other through them. If you think about it (and without giving you endless examples which you already know) Jesus rarely had a moment where someone or some sort of crises didn’t demand His ever present attention. Not to mention the overwhelming opposition, both religious and secular that He continually faced. Yet Jesus could move through each and every trying circumstance He faced with much dignity, grace and peace. Never losing the greater perspective, and thus feeling that God’s plans or purposes for Him were in any way being hindered or thwarted by them. Therefore I think when we too are being “taxed” by whatever things seemingly “tax” us, we just may be in the midst of a “teaching moment”, where are being taught to exemplify what He always exemplified, and that is a quiet calm via an unshakeable trust in God, who is always aware of all our circumstances, as well as our hearts desires to be pleasing and fruitful for Him. For it’s always what we are as Christ’s ambassadors that matters more to do God than what we do, or “accomplish” for Him.
Matthew McMahon says:
Heavy sigh of agreement from Maryland.
Yvonne Reynolds says:
They grow up too quickly! But the time invested in them when they are young has big payoffs when they get older. My 19 year old son is joining me on our Compassion trip is just 2 days! He paid the deposit for his portion of the trip without even telling me!! Such a blessing to me 🙂
So maybe give your little guy a special reward, you go play with ‘whatever’ for 30 minutes while daddy works on this project. Then do something fun together!
Heidi H. says:
Do you know what is blasting on the other side of the drywall as I read this post? Yep…Frozen soundtrack! Let it go…let it go! 🙂
Shaun Groves says:
I finally gave in and learned how to play a few of the songs so the kids could sing along. Why fight it? ; ) #weak
Kathy says:
You are blessed. I know you know. I long for this, sometimes it’s too quiet here.