Shaun Groves
My in-laws from Houston are in town. Ten grandkids at a local hotel with Granda and Papa, at the over-chlorinated indoor swimming pool. Girls in one room. Boys in another. An evening meal at Cracker Barrel. Late night movie watching, eating candy, drinking Dr. Pepper – living like rock stars. For one Summer night. It’s a tradition.
And shopping.
Backpacks, shoes, haircuts, clothes…
“If you would just move to Austin,” Granda pitches to my nephew Nathaniel who wants to be a Longhorn, “you could go to the games and you’d be close enough for us to come visit when you have something important going on. We could see you more often!”
One of the kids then asks the question on the mind of every grandchild listening. “Would you still take us shopping every time we saw you?”
Presence or presents? This is the choice behind the choice to move.
Krissy says:
I don’t have any in-laws. Can I adopt yours?
Justin Davis says:
I’m speaking on Presence vs. Presents on August 7th at Cross Point…I may use your blog post as my intro. (I’ll give you credit of course). 🙂
Lance says:
Where to live that is complicated. It is all about being intentional to stay connected. Skype and FaceTime sure help us.
Cecilia says:
I know it’s not the point, but we lived in Austin for five years while my husband was in grad school at UT and it was awesome. If he doesn’t go there he should at least add attending a football game to his bucket list, they are quite the experience. I miss that town!
Amy says:
My kids love their Grandma Connie because she is the one to buy them stuff. Of course, they also love their Grandma Barb, because she is the one to bake cookies and do art projects with them. It’s the best of both worlds. Fortunately, we all live in the same area!
Shane says:
Dude, move to Austin. Let’s be neighbors!
Sarah Valente (Kingdom Mama) says:
I grew up in the same town as both of my grandmas. If I’m honest, I had a favorite. One took me shopping and out to lunch, and one sat with me for long hours over Dr. Pepper and recited family stories and showed me her treasure trove of trinkets that were worthless expect for their vast sentimental value. One of them game me presents. One of them offered presence. Although, they were both financially and physically able to offer both. As we grow, I think we always value presence over things.
Rick Starr says:
I got six words for you Shaun.
MOVE YOUR FAMILY BACK TO TEXAS!
You know it’s your favorite state. You are a CCM rebel now so you probably don’t fit in the Nashville CCM scene. Austin has plenty of good recording studios as well as great venues. Lastly, you would not only be close to the grandparents but also not too far away from my wife and me. OK, so I had some alterior motive to write this. You “Miss Texas” and Texas misses you and your family.
Meredith Dunn says:
My parent’s have their ranch up for sale, just outside Austin in Wimberley. Texas hill-country. Doesn’t get any better. I’ll ask ’em to cut you a deal too.
Christine says:
Love this! Presence = legacy…..lives long after presents are lost or broken.
Jabber Jaws says:
I think when someone is present in your life and gives you a present, that “thing” takes on new meanng. Example: My son will tell you every time you ask him that his PopPop is his best friend. So, my Dad POURS into his life and takes him to some incredible places with great gifts. But, my Dad, God Bless him, creates expectations. So, when he buys shoes, he says everytime you put these on I want you to think what can you do to bless someone else.
Life isn’t about presents but it is about what you make with what you have and their presence can often help with that lesson.
And mercy, why on earth would anyone who knows the JOY that it is to be a Texan want to live anywhere else!?! As you can guess, I always ask that my ministry be firmly rooted in Lone Star Soil.
I love it here. However, I have a kiddo that I know God will call somewhere else in life. Breaks my Texas heart, but she must go where He wants her to go. Sigh.
JessicaB says:
Oh my goodness. I am so jealous of your one summer’s night tradition.
My in-laws are coming in on a plane tonight from Africa. We haven’t seen them in a year. I am very much looking forward to some Sunday dinners and Mexican Restaurant visits. But more than that I’m looking forward to a little fellowship and discipleship. A lot can happen to the soul in a year.
Christine says:
Presence or presents is the choice behind our choice to stay put, too.
We live in California. It would make so much more sense for us to move elsewhere, where the standard of living is more reasonable and the taxes aren’t so stupendously, stupidly high and we didn’t feel like private school was the only option. But we stay because we grew up here and this where Nana and Papa and auntie and uncle and cousins are. And we would be miserable without them around us because we’re all the time all up in each others’ business and don’t know anything different (in the best possible way!) So we rent and drive (very) used cars and scrape it together for the school that’s a ministry of our church because presence wins out every single time.
Joanna Anderson says:
Being ‘present’ demands more than proximity. One’s presence can be felt/seen/heard/accepted in so many ways. The key is to embrace it regardless of the medium.
I do love the Austin music scene though…
Lindsay says:
Are you guys actually considering a move to Austin? If so, that would be mighty coincidental…
Shaun Groves says:
No
Lindsay says:
🙂 I didn’t think so. 🙂
holly smith says:
Oh we could go on about this topic…let’s just say that continuous presents from my parents is one reason why moving to Colorado is one of the best things we ever did for our children. Bags and bags to goodwill…they are learning how to save now. To give. To appreciate. Not to knock your family at all…it’s just that mine went too far…way too far.
Ron says:
I”m on the grandparent end of the equation. We left our kids and grandkids in St. Louis and moved to Cleveland. A year and a half later we realized that without presence you are … well … without everything. Now we live in St. Louis. Again. No regrets.
Lisa Smith @stretchmarkmama says:
Having experienced both types of scenarios (grandparents near, grandparents far), I can say there are definite benefits to being far away. For instance. When the grandparents *do* come to visit, they tend to let their hair down a bit more and slip into “vacation” mode (which is more fun for the grandkids).
I lived close to both sets of my grandparents while growing up, and while I saw them a lot, they didn’t necessarily “relate” to me as they were busy doing housework, watching TV, sleeping in front of the TV, etc. 🙂
Dana Pratt says:
I know these grandparents that you speak of….What a huge blessing your children have with Granda and Papa in their lives. I bet they hear Papa laugh a whole lot!!! And I bet they eat really well when Granda is around.