Here Comes The Ugly American

I’m headed to Canada for a week. A whole week up there with Downhere (that’s just too easy) and High Valley. I’m just the opener and the guy who comes out and talks about Compassion during the show. Which means I’ll have loads of time each night to just sit and listen to good music.

We’re out West. Where it’s “warm” dontcha know? A mere 20 degrees. That’s Fahrenfreakingheit, my American friends. Eh?

Lots more making fun of Canadian speak this week, I promise. You betcha.

To psyche myself up for a week away from my family and the feeling in my toes, how ’bout a list of awesome things about Canada.

1. bacon
2. Shania Twain
3. Alanis Morissette
4. the world’s largest coastline
5. only three people per square kilometer, which means a bigger share of the…
6. bacon
7. Rick Moranis and that other guy
8. Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, but not The Lake House
9. John Candy, who looked like he loved him some…
10. bacon

Celsius, here I come.