First, depression.

Then Becky gets what might be Lyme disease and turns out to (probably) be a staph infection – which she’s still healing from.

Next, two nights ago I got the flu.  Probably.  Chills, fever, runny nose, dizzy, head ache, bone ache, teeth ache, muscle ache…you get the idea.  Then it went away in less than 24 hours.  Totally gone. “Maybe it wasn’t the flu,” doc said.  “Maybe it was,” I said, “and 10,000 people praying for me kicked its butt.” Take that, flu.

I joked on Twitter and Facebook that I wondered if boils or frogs were next. The bulk of my followers and “friends” voted boils.

And boils it is.  Sort of.

Well, a cyst, actually, which I think we’d all agree is much closer to the boil family than the amphibians.

Yea, so a few days ago I thought I pulled a muscle way up near, um, well, uh, my upper upper thigh, let’s say.  It hurt so bad last night that it woke me up and today it’s especially ouchy to do things like…move.  Which, it turns out, is something I do a lot of in the course of a day. Oh, and it feels like there’s a grape (or maybe a small frog?) hiding out in there.

So, I stripped down to my Hanes-es for a way-too-young nurse practitioner this morning and got felt around on.  (Aw-kward). Then the doctor guy took a turn and well, the two of them together don’t know what the thing is.  Too low to be one thing.  Too deep to be another.  Too painful to be this.  Not painful enough to be that.

So they’re calling it a cyst, a possible infection of some kind and they’re giving me some drugs to kill it – the same drugs Becky’s on.  (Yeah! Nausea and other assorted side-effects to come!)

Meanwhile, I not only look like House (or so I’m told) but I walk like him now too.  Suh-weet.  I’m going cane shoppin’ this afternoon.

At some point, folks, you just have to laugh. And accessorize.