Shaun Groves
“Look what I got?” Becky said, pulling a can of what looked like whipped cream from the fridge. Well, good mornin’ Team Building Exercise 99. But I was wrong. And it was wrong. Very very wrong.
Organic pancake mix.
In a can.
That’s right, it’s Batter Blaster – “healthy” eatin’ for people who like their food of the squirted variety. Coming soon – I hope, I hope, I hope – Velveeta Blaster: Organic squirt cheese food. Followed by Poultry Blaster: organic free range squirt chicken salad. Oh, if I could just get organic fajitas in a can.
And it says right there on the can that Batter Blaster is the “original.” In case you were planning on taking credit for this marvel of canned cuisine. And I know you were.
Or do they mean original as in not like anything else. Because that, my friends, is truth in advertising. This breakfast dish is nothing if not original.
(Not) Surprisingly these were the worst pancakes I’ve ever ingested. Yet I ingested several of them. I. Do. Not. Know. Why.
My quandary: Was this “food” awfuler than awful tasting because it was organic or, well, you know, because it was SQUIRTED FROM A CAN?
Texas in Africa says:
Because it’s from a can. Kerbey Lane in Austin sells fantastic organic pancake mix in a bag. It really helps when you add small details like (real) eggs and milk (from a cow) to your batter.
kathy hickey says:
That’s funny! Also, I loved your post yesterday on exercise. Congrats on being off medication and getting free from whatever condition you had. I had always worried about your health a little.
Ron Woods says:
I’m guessing that “original” means like … the original pancake flavor. As opposed to maybe blueberry. Which would not be original.
OH! I CALL DIBS ON “LORD’S SUPPER BLASTER!” (Or perhaps, “Communion in a Can!”)
Eric Frisch says:
I actually tried this stuff this summer and thought it was really good! I’m sorry you didnt’ like it.
Christine says:
I’m going to go with the “squirted from a can” reason. I can’t think of a single thing I’d rather eat squirted than in it’s original, non-squirty form.
pistevo says:
i actually kind of like this stuff. my gf did the same thing since i love pancakes. she exclaimed “guess what i got?!?!” and i pretty much had the same reaction… umm… pancakewiz?
Megan says:
So where do you buy something like that? An organic gas station?
w.e.i.r.d
Diana (Life is Good) says:
Ew.
There was a time that Bisquik had a 2 cup shaker container (just like I’ve seen Hidden Valley do for salad dressing, and you can buy from Tupperware) … measure shake and pour.
You could still buy the squirty whipped topping stuff, ya know, if you’re into that squirty stuff.
Fred F. McKinnon says:
Shaun,
that’s just plain .. eh .. gross.
Hey – I’ll be in Franklin Feb 2-6 for re:create – would love to connect.
Richard says:
regarding your closing question…
the answer is yes. just yes.
Bonnie says:
Can something be both organic AND squirted from a can? I’m pretty sure that is not allowed. Organic food comes in fancy compostable packaging, not cans. You want a dairy-free pancake? Try Krusteaz….yum.
Steve | portable displays says:
hey Shaun,
Is today April fools? Or are you celebrating early? No way this can be true.
Steve (aka portable displays)
PS. I wouldn’t eat anything that is squirted out of a can, whether or no it is “organic”
gary says:
Were you wearing your business socks at the time?
Shaun Groves says:
I’m always wearing my business socks, gary. Always.
Kristen Edsell says:
Oh dear Shaun, why would you even think about trying pancakes from a spray can? *ugghh* Absolutely gross. Spray canned food should be left to cheese and whipped cream. That’s it. By the way… is there something wrong with the tour page. Because I’ve tried bringing it up and there’s nothing there… I’ve been wanting to find out if you coming down near Joplin or Tulsa soon.
Taylor says:
+100 points for Business Time reference. (on a side note, my wife of now 2 years and I listened to it again for the first time since we’ve been married about 3 nights ago. Much much funnier this time around)
Becky says:
That was a free sample at Costco a couple weeks ago. I thought it was hilarious. And kind of sick.