I’m writing this for inclusion in Shannon’s Works For Me Wednesday carnival.  (ManCode Violation #1: Participation in a themed mom blog event.)

Becky keeps a sinister folder.  It’s labeled “Party Ideas” but inside is nothing but evil clipped from magazines and printed from web sites. For me.

Three times a year she opens her little folder, usually the night before the big day, and says something like ”This one!  This is the cake I want for Penelope’s party.  It’s a carousel!  Made out of licorice and animal crackers.  It’s Martha Stewart. I saw it and I thought ‘Shaun could totally do that!’” Then I, only because I can draw and stuff, stay up late, get up early and make the danged carousel out of licorice and animal crackers for my little princess’ birthday party.  (Violation #2: Baking and frosting. Violation#3: Admitting publicly that there’s been some baking and frosting.)

That was last year.  Penelope was turning two.  In those days she was finger painting with poop and calling her brother “Daddy” and, let’s face it, she wasn’t all that sharp and definitely didn’t know a carousel from a swing set and couldn’t remember what she’d eaten a mere five minutes after it was smeared on her face.  So, yea, that was culinary skill well spent.

Well, this year, last Friday, Becky graciously gave me twelve daytime hours to bring her magazine clipping to life: A sunflower cake made out of…wait for it…Starbursts.  (Somebody smack Martha Stewart real hard with somethin’ heavy for me will ya?)

Here it is:

Now, Martha must’ve skipped English the day they taught how to write a process paper because this sucker had a “how to” only three steps long – three not-so-detailed steps.  So allow me now teach you what Martha left out: How to make stuff out of Starbursts.

STEP ONE: Unwrap one Starburst and place it between two sheets of wax paper.  Only one Starburst.

STEP TWO: Put your wax paper and Starburst sammich in the microwave oven and zap it for four seconds.  Less and it won’t soften.  More and it’s molten lava.

STEP THREE: Remove your softened Starburst sammich from the microwave and squish that Starburst between the two sheets of wax paper using lots of manly pressure from a finger or thumb pre-calloused by fifteen years of guitar playing.  Don’t have a calloused finger or thumb?  You’re screwed.  That Starburst is a tad warm.

STEP FOUR: Peel off the wax paper BEFORE the Starburst assumes room temperature.  If you’re not fast enough it’ll stick to the paper.

STEP FIVE: Cut the flattened Starburst into desired shape (in this case, flower petals) using scissors.

That’s it.  That’s how you make stuff out of Starbursts like a manly man!  Like maybe MacGyver even. Take that Martha!

I hope the men out there still accept me as one of their kind.  If not, I’ll be blogging under the name “Three Baby Bears” starting tomorrow.