In the bonus room of a youth worker’s house, we seniors of the class of 1992 sat in a a circle and took turns saying out loud what we loved doing.  The teacher for the weekend’s retreat had challenged us to figure out what God’s will was for our life…in 48 hours…while sharing a house with attractive available people of the opposite sex…our whole life…in 48 hours…with lots of free chips and dips and caffeine lying about the place.

Just think about the thing that makes you happiest, he said, the thing you could get lost in doing and then think about how you can turn that into a job.  Whammo!  God’s will in two easy steps.

I prayed.  I closed my eyes and tried to recall my happiest moments in life. 

Kissing a girl for the first time.  Not sure how to monetize that.

Eating peanut butter cups and Dr. Pepper while beating Super Mario Brothers.  Professional video gamers didn’t exist yet and I lacked the vision to invent the career path on my own.

Making music.  Now that has possibilities, I thought.  So I decided that weekend to study music in college and then write songs.  And I did just that.  Four years studying music composition and theory.  Three years working for a music publisher.  Six years as an artist on a label.  Three studio CDs and one live album.  And I don’t love it.

I’m grateful to be doing it.  I like it.  But don’t love it.  And I’m fine with that.  It’s work.

I only mention all this for two reasons.  First, I think I was screwed over by the bogus notion that “God’s will” equals fun, happy or easy…all the time How many times have you heard someone explain that their recent decision about this or that must have been “a God thing” because their house sold so quickly, or the pay was higher than their last job or they really love their new boss.  This ignores Daniel who followed “God’s will” into a hole filled with lions, Paul who followed “God’s will” into a shipwreck, a stoning and a few overnighters in Middle Eastern prisons, or Jesus who followed God’s will to an early grave and three days in hell.  This is the fusion of “pursuit of happiness” thinking and our Christian faith resulting in something one small tweak away from that which slithers from a prosperity preacher’s mouth.  It’s lie that makes us sick to our stomachs wondering if we misheard God, if we’re bad people for having bad days at the office.  It’s slavery.

Second, God’s will for my life is bigger than my work.  Turns out God has stuff He wants us to be besides accountants and soft rock stars.  God has things he wants us to do besides stock shelves and strum guitars.  Good thing work isn’t the beginning and end or even the biggest category within that thing called “God’s will” since we spend so much time (or should) doing stuff that isn’t work.  I wonder if capitalism created this lie we labor under and youth ministers pressure us with in bonus rooms at retreats – the lie that says what job I’ll take is the most important thing to figure out…the thing that, therefore, must matter most to God.  Not how well we know ourselves or how we can relieve suffering or be good friends or parents but how we’ll earn enough to buy mostly stuff we don’t need…and more stuff when that stuff breaks or isn’t cool any more.  Where did this mindset come from?  I don’t know.  But it makes us say stupid things.

Someone said stupid things in an e-mail they sent me today.  He’s sixteen and he’s trying desperately to figure out “God’s calling” on his “life.” His entire life?  And so I read on, praying that today was a smart day and I’d have soemthing good to write in reply.  He went on to say he’s not sure if God wants him to be an architect or a teacher and he’d appreciate any advice I have for him as he tries to figure out what “God’s will” is for his “life.” His entire life?  I wasn’t sure what to say.

Then I thought about my friend Brian who once wisely suggested God might be more concerned with who I am than what I do to make money.  He said it as a question actually because he’s clever like that.  “Do you think,” he said, “God cares as much about what you do to make money as He does about who you are or who you’re with?” And he went on to talk about how moving to Nashville to be my road manager wasn’t an impressive move, wasn’t a move up from pastor and church planter, but how it was a move toward community and family, toward being a better dad and husband, toward giving his wife what she needed more of, toward helping me.  Helping me figure out “God’s will” I think.

So I wrote that kid back.  I gave him some advice. Whatever you decide to do for a living, decide to love God more than yourself, love the poor and the sick and the hopeless more than your own happiness, love the intern as much as the boss, love your kids more than a promotion, love your wife more than your laptop.  This is God’s will for your entire life.  To pull this off you’ll need to buy as little as you can.  The more stuff you own the more you’ll feel you have to work, the more depressed you’ll be when work isn’t fun, and the more you’ll equate God’s will with what you do for work, and the less time you’ll have to discover all the other things life is supposed to be about.

I wish someone had told me that in the bonus room.