My wife, Becky, passed away. I’m not sure of what. And some friends decided, after a period of mourning, of course, that they’d set me up on a date with Jennifer Aniston.
To my surprise, she looked younger in person, sitting across from me at a table in the bar at Chili’s. Much younger than me.
“Chips are free in the bar,” she said.
“Wow, really?” I pretended this was news to me.
I ordered queso and a side of blue cheese dressing and when they both arrived I asked if she minded me mixing them together or if she preferred her cheese untainted by more cheese.
She laughed. “Sure, whatever, go ahead, I’m in!” And laughed some more.
I told her our couple name in the tabloids would be Shennifer or Jaun, which would be confusing for Spanish speaking readers so in the end folks would probably just go with Shennifer.
She laughed.
She laughed a lot on our date.
And told me what a great guy I was and how lucky Becky was to have had me for so many years.
Thus I had to break up with Jennifer Aniston. After we finished our meal and she paid, of course.
I broke up with her for being young, dating me out of pity and pretending I was very funny. Which, outside of a dream, would not bother me in the least.
No more chocolate cake before bedtime. My nocturnal date life is more reasonable without it.
Jim Gray says:
messed up…but funny…but messed up shaun!
Erin says:
hahahaha. hilarious ๐ I love that you keep it real and down to earth.
benstewart says:
Nice.
Pete says:
HAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA!
I *rarely* recall my dreams… sometimes I wish I could remember more.
Gina says:
I get she’d take you back in a minute if you call her.
๐
Yeah, never eat right before bed. It happens to me too.
Gina says:
that’s supposed to be “bet” except I am in idiot who can’t type with only 4 hours of sleep.
Eric Burnley says:
This post is perfect in absolutely every way. I say go with the chocolate cake again tonight, and push it over the edge with some tart cherries on top just to see what comes out in the dream machine.
JD says:
Shaun, you crack me up!!
rebecca says:
LOVE THIS BLOG!!!
hilarious – of course, I would have kicked you to the curb for mixing the blue cheese with the queso – ugh!!! that is disgusting!! and you call yourself a Texan!!
Thomas says:
Why do I have this feeling that next week, while standing in line at the grocery store, I will see the headline on one of those celebrity gossip magazines “Soft Rock Star Opens Up About Secret Date Night and Recent Breakup with Jennifer Aniston.”
misty says:
I am glad that you broke up with her, she would just end up breaking your heart. ๐
Smilinsouthernbella says:
Maybe she was sending mixed signals… maybe she really knew from her dreams you didn’t share your cake! Hahahhaha.. Did you? Share your cake with your wife? Maybe she prayed, Lord, Let Shawn get turned down on a date with Jennifer Aniston since he didn’t share his cake! Heheeheee
Ben Power says:
haha sounds like you were eating the queso/blue cheese mix BEFORE bed.
Heather EV says:
That was a horrific first sentence! Scared me to death!
But the rest was funny (at least, I bet it would have been if my heart had not been palpitating from shock turned to relief when I found out the whole thing was a dream).
Prudence says:
How funny. I dreamed I was in a circus of sorts last night.
Kenyon says:
I always thought you looked a little like Peter Gibbons. ๐
ZOOM says:
Lucky you for dream dating Jennifer Aniston. My last celebrity “dream” date was Prince Charles.
keith says:
I probably would have kept that one to myself, but you know, it’s your blog, and it’s better than dreams of going back to college and trying to escape suicide car bombers every few minutes, not that I would know anything about that or use many run-on sentences.
Lauren Kelly says:
Okay, now that is funny!!!! HAHA!!! ๐
Roberta says:
wow…that scared me at first…then I thought he’s not even in mourning…THEN I got it! I’m a little slow when it comes to ironic humor…lol This was one of those dreams that make you go hmmmm…
Don’t even try to analyze it…lol Too funny!
Tanya says:
bababhahahahah LOL.
Chris says:
You are CRAZY!! That is SOoo funny! Thanks for the laugh lol!! Still laughing…
Yeah, that is me, too, on too much chocolate before bedtime = you are OLD.
๐
jen says:
Yes, chocolate cake is best for breakfast. Just don’t let the kids see; then you’d have to share.
Kevin says:
You have to be one of the most creative guys I know. Most of my dreams begin by looking at a pillow and fading to black, regardless of what I eat.
Is dream envy a sin?
sarah valente says:
Ahahahahahahaa! Thanks, I needed that!:)
Holli says:
I am not happy at all about being awake and in charge of the kids this a.m. while hubs works. So – thank you SO much for the laugh! My kids thnk you, too. ๐
Beth says:
This was not a dream; it was a nightmare!
Nellie Dee says:
No, but seriously, you guys are all right, right?
Meredith Dunn says:
how curious… is it that your subconscious wanted to date Jennifer Aniston at some point, or was it, perhaps, that you subconsciously wanted to be John Mayer for a moment. Just saying.