Sara e-mailed Ben a while back asking if I was available on such-and-such day to sing at a women’s conference she was putting together in Missoula, Montana. I wasn’t.
So she asked about another date. Nope.
And another. No again.
There was only one weekend in the Fall that was free, Ben told her. She moved her conference and that’s how Ben and I made a date with Montana.
And Sara, Matt and Gloria.
Gloria
When I first met Gloria she was flitting around the church making last minute preparations before the doors opened and the ladies streamed in. She laughed often and easily – the kind of person who makes you feel much funnier than you actually are.
Then, on the second day of the conference she stood before the crowd and told her story. And I was shocked.
It’s her story so I won’t tell it to the world here. But suffice it to say Gloria has known disease, abandonment, abuse and neglect unlike anyone I’ve known before.
But she’s quick to say she knows Jesus too. And, in her words, He’s never left her.
The ten hours in the air and three hours in the car to reach Missoula were worth it if only to witness the miracle Gloria’s joy is.
Smooth Move
It’s rare that we get to know people on the road as well as we got to know Sara, her husband Matt and their friends. Usually Ben and I are in a town for only a few hours and then we’re off to another. But we left Missoula feeling like we really knew these people. Maybe more than we wanted.
Matt is a nurse. He told us – he actually told us – about the time he got curious about a laxative he was always doling out where he worked. It looked like honey, he said. So he decided to taste it.
Not a lick-a-little-off-your-finger kind of taste but a two-spoon-full-dose kind of taste.
Nine hours before his first date with Sara.
Needless to say, the date progressed with a bit more, um, urgency than ideal. But she married him anyway. Because he’s a Texan.
That Depends
Because Sara brought up Matt’s recreational laxative use – at dinner – he brought up her legendary adult undergarment experiment. A strong marriage is built on reciprocity, after all.
Seems that Sara had always wondered – who wonders this, by the way – what it was like to wear Depends. Yes, the adult diapers.
So one day, in college, she and her roommate bought some, put them on…and went to Denny’s. Of course.
“Did you, um, use them?” I asked reluctantly.
“Yes,” she said, without a hint of shame.
It was at this point that Ben excused himself from the table, went to the restroom and used his phone to check on the next flight out. This is road manager 101 type stuff: What to do when the promoter admits to peeing in Papaw Pampers for grins.
Full
Despite how entertainingly strange Sara and Matt turned out to be, I consider them friends now. No, because of how entertainingly strange they turned out to be.
My father-in-law is a pastor and he’s testified more than once that in ministry (and in life) there are two kinds of people to watch out for. The first kind drain you. Love them the best you can but watch your gauges. Take a break before you hit empty. The second kind fill you up. Find them, celebrate them, thank them, spend time with them as often as possible. They are life.
I usually come home from a weekend of speaking and singing tired – in a good way. I’ve done my job, listened and talked a lot, spent hours in the air and in cars and I’m just tired from a good few days of work. Some weekends I return home truly emptied by the needs of others. But not this time.
I’m home now more full than when I landed in Montana a few days ago. These new friends were life to me.
Thank you, Sara, Matt, Gloria and the rest of Meadowview Community Church in Missoula, Montana. Let’s do it again sometime. Please.
Shayne says:
Glad you were refreshed. And in Montana, no less! Wow. I’d love to visit there someday.
I’m afraid I’ve been a drain in the past. Hopefully, as Jesus continues to heal and change me, I’ll be a fountain someday.
Sara McNutt says:
This hurts my heart. In a good way. We miss you guys, we feel incomplete. Becky did mention she’s always wanted to live in Missoula… Just sayin’.
Oh wait, that’s a hole.
Stacy (McNutt) Young says:
It’s amazing how you can put into words what I feel about someone I have known my whole life! Matt is my brother and he and Sara are just as you say…all. the. time. My family feels this same way after every visit with them whether it’s 1 day or 8 days. Oh I love this. And makes me miss them even more…I didn’t even think that was possible! You are a great friend-maker Shaun Groves.
N. Crain says:
Matt, Sara and Gloria, this is so true. You are wonderful encouragers and “load lifters”. Everything is lighter when you are in it. Praise the Lord for you!
Thank you for sharing His joy.
JessicaB says:
This DOES pose a good question.
Are you a drainer, or a filler? Hmmm.
NancyTyler says:
And now you know why I reveal so few of my quirks to you, Mister Blogger. lol
Amy says:
I love this post. I laughed the whole way through. Thank you. 🙂 I needed the laugh.
Sarah Harris says:
I was blessed enough to be there for all 3 days at Meadow View and I have to tell you, you are simply inspirational. This weekend was life changing for me. You make me want to keep digging deeper to discover my purpose. I now want to give more of myself to God and others than I ever have. I am no longer fearful, but excited to see what and who God can mold me to be. Little ol’ me. 🙂 I am in awe of your zest for life, your humility, your compassion (no pun intended), your humor, your generosity, and your eagerness to show people they can be more than they think they can be. All because of your immeasurable love for God. Thank you a million times over.
jen says:
Oh, those section titles – heeheehee, hahahaha! (Especially the use of the word filled just after the adult diaper story!)
jen says:
Oops – kids came in and started talking to me! That was supposed to say, “Especially the use of the word ‘Full’ just after the adult diaper story!”)
(hangs head low) sorry.
Sarah Anderson says:
You tell those stories so well, and trust me you will never forget them, ever since I heard them 2 years ago they are a definite go to when you need a pick me up! Because after all depends+ laxatives= pure awesomeness!
Janet Oberholtzer says:
Shaun … what a post!
I sometimes read posts I like to my husband (he’s not a blog-reading guy) but this one I could not read to him … I was laughing too much.
Thanks for the laughs!
Gloria Richard says:
Missoula just seems boring with out you and *Ben Groves* here. No more late nights chatting it up at Applebees. I really can’t wait until we can all catch up again. Hopefully with the whole family next time.
Jenn says:
This is a great story! Oh my word. My husband’s family are notorious for sharing potty stories at meal times, but none have ever been that funny. On a (slightly stretched) related note, one of the very few times they ever came to church with us was to see you in concert at our old church (Providence in Raleigh, NC) a loooong time ago.
Linda Delman says:
Shaun–what a great post! I laughed until I cried and then cried because I missed it all. I am Matts’ Mom and there is never an end to his life stories—you have only heard a few and need to hear more! Matt and Sara shine with Gods love all around them and bring so much joy to others—Stacy was right when she said they are like that “all the time” So happy to hear they have touched your life as you have theirs. Hopefully the next time around our paths will cross–what a joy it would have been to meet you. Until next time…………God Bless You for all you do for others– especially the children.
jess says:
thanks so much making these blessings of people known-these fillers up of men. oh dear, such sweet laughter. lucky for me you have the gift of story telling or i wouldn’t be filled up as well! 🙂
Lindsay says:
What high praise! Thank God for the fillers. 🙂
cara says:
I’m a nursing student, and we wore Depends to see how they felt too. But I couldn’t imagine, in a million years, going out in public with them on, and actually USING them. Then admitting it in public.
They sound just like the kind of people I want to be MY friends. 😛
It IS a good question… am I a “drainer” or a “filler”.
MJ says:
How do you know for sure if you are a drainer or a filler?
How do you become a filler, if it turns out you are in fact a drainer? A filler sounds like a much better person, more Christ-reflective, to be.
Sara McNutt says:
I haven’t thought too deeply about this idea, but what comes to mind is this: I think a filler is someone who intentionally looks for ways to give or uplift or make laugh or relieve burdens or honor or edify or serve. And I think a drainer is always looking for someone to do that for them, without giving what they’ve received.
And I think you only become a filler by spending time with Jesus, because if we love Jesus, we’re gonna love His people, and true love is demonstrated in action. What do you think, MJ, do you agree? Disagree?
Tanya Gentile says:
This is Sara’s mom and wanted to share a story with you, about Sara’s persistence (since you already got a dose of it when she was trying to get you to come to Missoula)…. When Sara was about 3 years old, my husband put her to bed for the night. However, that was not what Sara had in mind for the night. I was reading in the livingroom and that is where Sara wanted to be, right on my lap with me. She had to cross a hallway to get to me, so first she walked by & my husband put her back to bed. About 5 minutes later she ran by & my husband put her back to bed. About 10 minutes later she crawled by and my husband picked her up & put her in my lap!!!! I am so glad Sara & Matt were able to fellowship with you. We were truly blessed when Matt came into Sara’s life!!!! I also wanted to thank you for sharing about a “filler” or a “drainer”, as it made me want to work towards being a “filler”. May God continue to bless you & your ministry.
Sara says:
Well, if it’s potty stories you need, we’ve got plenty! 🙂