There was a marketing meeting about my face years ago.  From it, a guy with an actual degree in marketing emerged and informed me that I was “unapproachable looking.”

“We know you’re approachable but you don’t look like it,” he explained.  The solution was to dye my hair, shave my beard, use only pictures of me smiling a toothy smile and use Photoshop to blur my cheeks in order to create the illusion that I was much heavier than I actually was (am).  Because, as any marketing major will tell you, skinny people are just plain scary to the general buying population.  That’s covered in the second semester.

Today, I’m not called “unapproachable.” I don’t have friends with such robust vocabularies.  Nope, today I’m mistaken as “serious” and even “angry.” “Are you angry?” someone will say.  “You look angry.”

“Yes, I’m angry,” I say.  “Very angry at this banana.  And at this napkin.  Napkins and bananas really tick me off.  Quite angry.” Which is my subtle way of saying “Go away now.” And that, I guess, sort of makes me “unapproachable.”

Since so many experience such difficulty deciphering what it is I’m expressing with my face, I’m posting some visual aids that will assist you – the world – in identifying my mood at any given moment.

Here is my angry face:

Here are my other faces:

I hope that helps.