Shaun Groves
Dear Recent High School Graduate,
Don’t go to college. Not yet. Instead, travel, dance, serve, sit, write, think, work. Because it beats being “undecided.”
Take a year to decide.
Yes, your mom won’t like this. Fine. Tell her to e-mail me. And I’ll remind her that the stuff she remembers most from her early twenties are the things she learned about herself, not the things written in textbooks or spoken by professors. Which doesn’t mean stuff in books and lectures are worthless. But they can wait. A year. Just a year.
So don’t go to college. Not yet. Take a break, take a trip, take a risk and learn about yourself, the world, and life. Get educated before deciding how you’ll be educated. Take your time.
Then, with your newfound perspective, if you think it’s right for you, rejoin the herd and read those textbooks and take notes on those lectures. Or not. Stay gone if you want. Extend your break for a decade or two or five. It’s up to you, not mom. You should tell her I said that too. She’ll listen to me. I have a degree.
Your bloggy friend,
Shaun
Nancy Tyler says:
But if you’re like I was when I was 18–an inhibited church kid–go ahead and go straight to college. Preferably a really secular one so that you’ll be so far outside your comfort zone that you’ll learn that your faith really will stand in the middle of the firestorm.
And when you find that the feet you’re standing on are your own and not your parents’ or your Christian subculture’s, you’ll then discover that you have the freedom to make those feet travel, dance, serve…
Sara says:
This works for recent college graduates (like me) thinking about going to graduate school but just not so sure what they want to do…and that’s after 4 years of college. So thanks, that was encouraging. =)
Linda Sue says:
and who is paying for the year of self discovery? oh right – the stupid parents who did go to college, graduate and work – the premise is sounds -just been praying with some friends who have children who have chosen to “find themselves” at great expense to the family – so always a flip side to a good idea huh? truly I was a better stupident (I meant student) after I went back to college than I was the first couple of years – but I was paying for my own excursion into self discovery – btw the word to submit says over 46 – yeah baby WAY over
Andy O says:
Can I go for a year and THEN drop out, join a band and never go back?
Oh wait. I did.
thecachinnator says:
Shaun, this is a dark and dangerous path down which you are treading. If kids didn’t go straight to college and waste their money there, enrollment might dwindle to manageable numbers. If that happened, fewer professors might be needed. If there were fewer professors, they might be paid better and we might see an improvement in the quality of their work. And if they were paid better then the schools would have more difficulty getting money out of grads to “improve teacher pay” that ultimately went towards billion dollar endowments. And if schools didn’t have billion dollar endowments they couldn’t build such expansive and massive campuses in which to educate too many kids for far too many years each. Or even worse, the money that would’ve gone to the billion dollar endowments might go to scholarship funds that helps kids who actually want to go to school, but can’t, get a focused and useful education instead of a lethargic, long, and hazy one.
Oh, wait… I get it now…
DrewbieTech says:
Based on personal experience and the experiences of some close friends:
1. This is the best advice you can give to recent grads.
2. This is the hardest advice for most people that age to actually implement.
Tara Livesay says:
Also –
While you take the year to find yourself. Don’t get engaged. Please.
Sarah Chia says:
I used to teach writing classes at a local college and I told a few of my students this. It’s a waste of money to go to school when you’re that young and know nothing about where you’re going.
I know I would’ve appreciate hearing this advice at 18. I just thought college was what you did.
Texas in Africa says:
Amen, amen, amen. And there’s a good chunk of my students who never should’ve gone to college anyway. Not everyone belongs there or needs it to live a happy life.
Jay Sellers says:
I needed this advice about, oh, 14 years ago.
I did manage to back pedal after some college and go into the Army, but that was during peacetime (1994-1998). My military experience has had far greater impact on my adulthood than my college experience has.
Nathan says:
I’m confused. The title and content here suggests you are talking to a “recent high school graduate.” However, the URL points to “dear_recent_college_graduate.” These are two very different phases of life.
Caroline Schell says:
With all due respect, this is not applicable to everyone, Mr. Groves. I’m sure there are some that would benefit from a year off after high school, but like someone pointed out before, who is paying for this? I for one just finished my 3rd year of college, and still have no clue what I want to do. However, when I finish, I will have a degree that will give me more options. Not everyone finds themselves by traveling, sitting, and thinking. I’m convinced that I’ve learned much more by being “undecided” in college–really living in this phase of life–than I would have wasting my parents’ money floundering around. All of the things you mentioned can be done while in school. Also, if taking time off is being funded by parents, I’m not sure that’s being a very good steward of their money.
Caroline Schell says:
One more thing–a parent definitely does have a say in what their child is doing. Especially if their money is being used. But even if it is not, just because a child turns 18 and graduates high school doesn’t mean that they are fully equipped and forward thinking enough to live without guidance from those who have gone before them.
Shaun Groves says:
Guidance, yes. Control, no.
Caroline Schell says:
I should have made all of these one comment.
To not be such Debbie Downer here, I myself am taking a year to “find myself” before grad school. So, I really don’t think it’s all bad.
Kristen_E says:
I loved this blog. I didn’t technically go straight to college right after high school. I took sign language for a year. Part of the way through my 2nd semester I started cosmetology school… I’m discovering who I really am and not wasting a ton of money on a full time college or university. thank you shaun.
Krista says:
I think if you want to go to college, but don’t have a clue what for, try community college. Most of them aren’t bad and you won’t get sunk into debt to figure out that you either do or don’t want to continue.
I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to do with my life when I graduated from high school. I had some side tracks (in the form of worrying so much that I dropped out of 4 year university so I could go back and live at home and go to community college) but I eventually ended up doing exactly what I’d planned 10 years ago.
No, not everyone needs to go to college, but in this day and age you do need some kind of education more than high school.
And you can find yourself in college as well. They were the best years for me!
annie says:
I think this advice is definitely something every high school grad should consider, but it isn’t necessarily the right advice for every high school grad to take.
I’ve known several friends who did this and ended up having to get a job in the meantime, then became “stuck” in that path, never really having a chance to figure out where they wanted to go. As has been mentioned, that year isn’t free, and not everyone’s parents/guardians are willing to pay for it. At some point, going back to school becomes a bit more difficult.
I was fortunate enough to know where I wanted to go BEFORE high school, so I went straight to college and am now doing it.
Different paths for different people. The best advice is to pray about that path when you come to the forks.
Shaun Groves says:
You’re only stuck if you choose to be. THis isn’t Haiti. We have options if we have a brain and body that work. Especially if we’re white and middle class. Options out the ear. No reason we MUST be stuck. We’re off the plantation in a country brimming with opportunity.
My own story is that after high school I took a job at a law firm doing data entry and being their runner. At the same time I worked a lot with our church’s youth group. And I took some basic courses and beginning music classes at a local junior college. I did this for a year and a half. AT the beginning of that year I thought I wanted to be an attorney. But I was also interested in church ministry and music. I wound up choosing music and going to a university to study it.
In that year and half “off” I learned a lot about myself. With my friends away at school I had to make new friends and that was hard. I learned a lot. And one of those friends became my wife. She was taking a year off after her undergrad work – deciding whether to work or go to school some more. She chose more school and went to the same university I attended. It all worked out. Perhaps that’s why I’m such a big advocate of taking time off. That and I don’t know anyone who has used their degree – and most folks I know would have chosen a different one (or non at all) had they slowed down and taken their time making that decision.
cool dad says:
Superb advice for young people. Like said above – not the path for everyone, but something that everyone should hear.
Is it OK if I take this advice at 31 with a wife and kid? Hope so, because that’s what I’m doing!!
Maybe. I think. Sort of. Um, we’re boned.
thecachinnator says:
It’s amusing that so many people naturally assumed that mom and dad would foot the bill for a “year of finding oneself.” I’m pretty sure that jobs still pay money and that 18 year olds don’t need mom and dad to help them live simply. In fact, it may be the best education available to just learn how to take care of oneself, pay the bills, set priorities, etc. Get a job, kids. You’ll be no more stuck than you would be if you followed the lemmings to college and “got stuck” in a degree plan that didn’t actually serve your life. That’s the wonderful thing about being an American: we can make those decisions for ourselves.
Shaun Groves says:
I’d love to write a post sometime about all the assuming that goes on here. But I’m assuming I’d have fewer readers after that.
Nancy Tyler says:
You do indeed know somebody who’s using their degree.
Cali Amy says:
I am sort of using my degree as well. Which is to say, I use things I learned in college everyday.
I travelled after college and couldn’t have gotten the job I did without a college degree.
Crystal Renaud says:
amen a million times over to this post! i went to college for one semester after high school and it was the most suffocating and limiting experience of my life. i swiftly quit after the one semester and was hired on by my church. i have grown, learned more about myself and experienced things about life, death, sex, God, family, friends, myself, my family, missions, poverty, vocationally, and a million more things i never could have learned in a textbook. i don’t regret quitting college. maybe some day i will finish a degree of some sort, but right now i am loving what God is teaching me through living His will for me.
keith says:
I’m using my degree, and it’s the same degree I started studying for as a freshman twelve years ago. You’re right about me choosing a different one now if I could. I think it would have taken me more than a year to figure it out though.
Wisdom says:
Good advice. Looking back I think I would’ve benefited from taking a year off before pursuing college. I do have a B.A., but I would’ve loved to have had a year to explore and do things that I now can’t do because I am married with kids (which is also a great blessing!).
annie says:
I meant, and should have said, “FELT stuck.” I totally agree with you about all the opportunities we have in this country. I can only speak from my own experience and from what I’ve seen some friends experience.
Reality is that there is no one right answer that fits everyone. So, it is good to be aware of our options. We can’t see the future, so we put it in God’s hands and trust Him with it, right?
As one of those people who’s always known what she wanted, my choices were pretty clear. Everything worked out, no regrets. I don’t know what I would have done if I graduated HS without knowing where I wanted to go.
I’m glad the path you took worked out well for you.
Biblefanmaryann says:
Ah, assuming really does take the place of good communication on the interweb.
Why, thank you for this post, Shaun! I’ve got one more year of high school. I’m not at all prepared for the world right now (can’t even drive!), so I’m already kinda planning to take at least a year off. But the pressure to go to college ASAP is so strong! All my senior high school friends seem to be enrolled in college already, and everyone keeps asking me what college I plan to go to.
elijah says:
And once you’re in college, all anyone ever talks about is getting a job that pays well so you can (pay off your debt and give money to the university alumnae program) be successful. I found it frustrating and somewhat amusing. There’s so much more to life than working to obtain “better” things.
I graduated a year and a half ago, and, though I didn’t really think about it beforehand, have ended up taking a year and a half off to do some things I’ve wanted to do for a long time, like work in a national park and help lead worship services there. Newly focused, I’m starting to seminary in the fall, and I’ve never been this excited about school. I’m actually looking forward to having little money, working a lot, sitting in classes, and studying and doing homework. I think my year and a half off has facilitated my focus and excitement.
Debbie says:
Yeah but…here’s this pastor’s family, and the kids are working really hard in high school to get scholarships for college because the parents haven’t had the resources to save up for them. And yeah, they could use some time to sort of find themselves–but guess what? No scholarships unless you go straight to the Big U. Hard choice.
Kevin says:
I think it is also worth noting that most people who goto college take longer than the prescribed 4 years(which is really longer than need be), as a recent college graduate who managed to graduate in 4 years despite transferring and now with a degree that has given me more job prospects, however, not jobs I would want you learn alot more about yourself at 22, than at 18. Most 18 year olds dont have the maturity, to just “take a year off” college is a great incubator, and one that i think most kids need in order to stay focused on something. The shortcomings of university education as mentioned on this board is another matter entirely. Also, worth noting taking time off after college is a definite must i think