Shaun Groves
My name is Shaun and I’m an overcommunicator.
I can say in 1000 words what you can in 10. And I probably will.
If I can’t see you nodding or hear you saying “I understand,” I assume you don’t. And it’s my fault. So here come some more words.
If you’re a sensitive person and I know it I’ll talk even more, thinking I’m eliminating any potential reasons for offense with every sentence.
To make matters worse, I like adjectives – little words like “youthful,” “chronic,” and “beechwood aged” that marketers and songwriters love and youthful texters and chronic e-mailers hate.
Oh, and I like stories – you know, those things that have beginnings, middles and endings; require character development, setting, climaxes and denouements? Turns out they also require lots of words.
My name is Shaun and I’m an overcommunicator. I want to be cured because: 1)The more words one uses, the more words one can regret later. 2)You’re yawning.
I’m overcommunicating again aren’t I? Gotta catch a flight to Indianapolis.
Any other overcommunuicators out there? Confess yourself. Any non-overcommunuicators got any tips on brevity?
Laurie says:
I think “efficiency” in the context of verbal communication is overrated. Sit me down with someone who will tell a story and who, in turn, can listen without looking at their watch any day. But, then again, I don’t even get texting.
anon4him says:
I think I might fluxuate between overcommunicating and undercommunicating. Though, I also like stories. Stories often help me to understand things better.
ross says:
Nope
Nancy Tyler says:
Write it.
Walk away.
Come back, reread and edit.
Brian Seay says:
Laurie –
How can efficiency ever be overrated? Shame on you.
Brian
Jonathan Bergen says:
I undercommunicator.
Becky says:
Here’s what I think:
Say what you want to say. Don’t worry [too much] about what other people think. No one’s forcing them to read your long blogs.
Todd says:
I tend to undercommunicate, but my wife overcommunicates – particularly when dealing with a potentially offended individual. Unfortunately, my wife views a majority of people as “potentially offended.”
This causes some fun times, particularly when I’m talking on the cell phone with her in the car – “Don’t make the feel like they HAVE to go eat there” or “Make sure they know we don’t really care either way.”
Jenni Clayville says:
I’m with ya brother… I do the same thing. If I don’t get a nod or ANY response… on I go
Let me know when you find a cure.
Biblefanmaryann says:
I’m either an overcommunicator or an undercommunicator. Depends on the situation, I guess. I may be normal. But then I wouldn’t know. Take right now for example: I’m writing on the computer on the internet on Shaungroves dot com stuffing a comment on the blog the reader is reading right now with excessively unnecessarily too much words to make a point in case you didn’t notice. In person I would simply say “yeah” and move on.
Jacque says:
I envy you overcommunicators. My name is Jacque and I’m an undercommunicator. I try to say it in as few words as possible. The result? I can’t get what’s in my heart to come out of my mouth. I like to listen though. I’m good at that.
Grovesfan says:
Shaun, I swear you’re the little brother my parents never told me about. Whenever I asked why I didn’t have one, they suddenly became very quiet. Very strange for the usual overcommunicators they were. I tend to be an overcommunicator too, but only when I’m trying to convince others (and myself) that what I’m trying to say is really important. Really!
Beth
Andy Vandergriff says:
i consider myself an undercommunicator, and have (to be honest) been influenced greatly by Ernest Hemingway in this regard. So i’ll lend some quotes from him to this discussion.
“If a writer knows enough about what he is writing about, he may omit things that he knows. The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water.”
“I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.”
“Never confuse motion for action.”
For me, Hemingway’s advice on writing applies well to all forms of communication. I don’t need to say ten things that back up the one thing that i’m trying to say, i need to say that one thing. Sometimes you need to let people deal with the fact that you’re not going to spoon feed it to them like they’re your baby son or daughter, cause the fact is, they’re not.
Matt Brier says:
My degree of communication is directly proportional to how well I know the recipient. The less I know of the person, the more to the point I am and vice versa.
Seth Ward says:
Guilty.
Or should I say… I also have the tendency to verbally overcompensate because I like to hear myself talk (lonely) and/or the sound of my new mac keyboard resembles a gentle spring shower pattering on my windowpane, helping me to forget the past and live only in the forever-now of illimitable spirit.
Now the ears of my ears and the eyes of my eyes are open…
Hilary says:
My name is Hilary and I am an overcommunicator. This condition is worsened by my huge addiction to literature fed by my being an English major. I also need to confess my love for your blog, overcommunicators of the world—unite together in a group of word wonder!
Thomas says:
Nope.
Shawn Bashor says:
What is brevity?
Katherine says:
I’m sure I fluctuate on the over/under communication, maybe more on the side of under. BUT, what I’m more aware of and more effected by, I think, is that I’m an over-communicatee, or something. I need details, more than most people. Like I’m slow to attempt a task I don’t think I fully understand.
This problem is especially frustrating for my husband when he’s trying to apologize. He usually thinks he’s done about three times before I think she should be…
Cali Amy says:
Shawn–the soul of wit
In school, back when they would give us a wordcount, I’d always be on the short end struggling to make it to the count. Always. So I don’t think I’m an overcommunicator.
leah says:
You know, I totally agree with your statement: “The more words one uses, the more words one can regret later.” Sometimes I think I do talk too much or write too much about my thoughts and make it public in the form of a blog. And then afterwards, I totally would regret the stuff that just came out of my mouth and my brain. Recently, I have been trying to, as Matt Redman’s song describes, “let my words be few”. I think there’s beauty in silence and it really is smart to think lots before we speak.
alan says:
I’m also a wordy person. With me there’s just no easy or simple way to put it, so I have to draw it out. I’m not proud of it because like you said Shaun, “the more words one uses, the more words one can regret later”. Yeah sometimes I feel like I take that to an entirely new level.
I’ve been told though that regardless of being wordy, I still do a good job of holding the attention of others when I go give talks. I guess that trade off kinda evens things out. Hopefully.
The Bargain Shopper Lady says:
That explains the three blog posts a day! More for us readers to ponder!
Sarah says:
My English teacher once told me that all of my papers were “wordy and vague”. But she said there was hope because in highschool all her papers were “wordy and vague” as well.
I think accepting it has been a huge step for me, and then learning how to read people’s body languages in real life. For me, I think when I started telling people how “talky” I was, and joking about it, they were more apt to actually put up with it. I think because if it’s something NOT important they now know they can tell me to move on.
Listening to or reading other overcommunicators helps too. It makes you think “I’m like that??” and decide to be as brief as you can, which is still not nearly brief enough.
And here I am, overcommunicating on a comment of a blog.
One last thing though: My roommates dad was once told by a seminary professor that he had the spiritual gift of “over-emphasis”. I tend to think I have the same.
Veretax says:
Your not the only one Shaun. in the writer’s guild I used to belong everyone else seemed to be able to convey their plotlines within a few pages, but not me, no if I don’t have ten chapters, the story isn’t done yet. I’m very much long winded, especially when it comes to prose so I completely understand. 😀
Zach says:
In person, I will usually have very little to say, unless I’m just talking one-on-one with someone. I do tend to let my heart out over long emails, and also poetry.
Biblefanmaryann says:
^^Yeah that’s me. What Zach said.
Here’s a thot for everyone: The Bible is a really big book, and it’s all pretty much about the same thing (God). So at a first glance one might think God was overcommunicating, but when you actually read it, you find that idea to be far from true! I don’t believe that if you omitted a single tiny part that the Bible would be quite the same without it. The Holy Bible is the complete, perfect, Word of God. It’s not an exaustive account of the LORD’s every thought, but it does include everything we need. We can really learn to appreciate how much God wants to speak to us thru His Word.
Further reason why I call myself “Biblefanmaryann”, and also further proof that I’m an overcommunicator sometimes.
FzxGkJssFrk says:
No.
Jon says:
I usually under-communicate. Trying to do more of it. But sometimes, in blog posts, I find myself overwriting. The journalist in me says “get to the point!”, but I’m also learning that stories are good and worth telling!
Jordan Like the River says:
Practice communicating via Facebook statuses.