Shlog Commandment #1: No Bro-ing

Do not bro me.  Also, related, do not brah me.

Bro is often used to soften the blow of something unneccessarily evil someone has just said to me after they realize it was evil but just before the evil sentence is completed.  Example: Don’t tell me I shouldn’t buy an iPhone.  I don’t tell you how to spend YOUR money…bro.

Bro is also used frequently as an expression of closeness between strangers and me, strangers who I am not close to, strangers who are not related to me in any way that I am aware of.  Example: I just love you, bro.

Bro is short for brother.  It is used by people either very concerned with the efficiency of language or with talking like everyone else.

Bro was brought into the American Christian subculture by fraternity guys who got saved after waking up too many times in partially digested Corona, and became youth ministers or emergent church pastors with a testimony.  Thus the frequent use of bro among youth ministers and emergent church pastors who like beer.

Bro evolved, about three years ago, at a Young Life meeting just outside of Dallas into the more laid back and less intelligible brah.  No one’s sure how this occurred.  Southwestern Theological Seminary is studying this evil linguistic transformation as I type.  Truett Seminary is developing course work on its proper use in the pulpit, based upon research into its probable frequent utterance by early church fathers and using Kyle Lake as their contemporary model.

But, regardless, don’t bro or brah me.