Shaun Groves
He wore a whole new outfit the day we met in Ethiopia. New Spiderman underwear even. He folded over and tugged down on the waist band of his pants to show them to me. It was a little awkward.
He was shy. His mother was even quieter. She told a translator that she had other children besides Yoseph and couldn’t afford to care for him in her house. She sent Yoseph to live with her sister. Her sister registered him in the Compassion International “project” near her home – a church where Yoseph could learn, eat, play, get medical checkups and hear about Jesus.
When I got home I wrote Yoseph. So did my son, Gresham. When he wrote back it was always the same letter. “How are you? I am attending school properly…”
Four or five polite sentences telling us his family was good, his health was good, and then wishing us well. But Gresham and I always wrote him back, always told him about our lives here in Tennessee, about our trip to the beach, our hike in the woods, a visit from grandparents, the first soccer goal scored.
When my kids are four or five – old enough to care and participate – we sponsor a child for them to pray for and write to. The hope is that while my kids sacrifice a little money and time to bring a little of the kingdom to a child in the developing world, a little of the kingdom gets brought into their world too. And it works.
My kids can find countries on a map they’ll almost never hear about in school or on the news. They know the difference between want and need, hungry and starving. They know kids just like them are living all over the earth. They’ve seen God answer their prayers and use their words and money to introduce entire families to Jesus.
Because of Yoseph in Ethiopia, Gresham one day walked door to door in our neighborhood selling his Matchbox cars so he could raise enough money to become his sponsor. It’s amazing how many suckers there are willing to give $10 to a cute little yellow-haired boy in exchange for a rusted old toy.
This morning I received an e-mail from Vickie at Compassion.
Dear Shaun and Becky,
I am sorry to have to bring you news of a departure of one of your sponsor children. Yoseph has left due to lack of interest from the family to continue with the program. Yoseph is 8 years old and has finished 1st grade and he is healthy. This is the only data I have on him at this time. Please pray for him and his family, that God will continue to work in their lives and that they will depend on Him for all their needs. I will pray for all of you on this departure. Thank you for the impact you have made on Yoseph’s life. We are so grateful for your servant hearts and the mercy you extend to the poor we serve with you. My husband and I had a departure of our 3rd sponsor child and it was so hard for us. We still pray for Christina and hope for her to know Jesus. Please give me a call or send an email if I can assist you in some way. God bless you and your family.
By His mercy and for His glory,
Vickie Gehri
Yoseph is like a nephew who lives too far away to visit more than once or twice – like in California or Alaska. To my heart he’s not a stranger.
It’s a strange thing to cry for someone you’ve only met once. We’ll be praying for Yoseph and his mom.
Rebecca Sweat says:
What a blessing of a family you have!
I am totally praying for Yoseph too. I know that with God, anything is possible!
May God bless you, your family, and your ministry abundantly more than you could’ve ever imagine 😀
<3 Becca
Amanda says:
That breaks my heart.
Jennifer says:
That’s sad. My parents sponsor a boy in Africa. I don’t remember if the current one is in Rwanda but is near there. Their first boy was part of the refugees of the Rwandan genocide and Compassion lost track of him during that time of upheaval. Compassion was good about letting them know what happened and then gave them the decision of sponsoring a new child or waiting for the first one. They went with a new boy and he is in his final years w/ the program at the age of 19.
anne Jackson says:
crying with you.
Heather EV says:
my youth group at church sponsored a girl from Peru for several years that left the program this past winter because she got pregnant with a boyfriend. She was 15. It was definitely sad because althogh she was in the program, she wasn’t living it. And being in poverty means she’ll probably live like that the rest of her life now. We are now sponsoring a boy from Bangladesh, though, so we hope to give him a better future.
Josh says:
Wow….tapping into that pain as I read this.
Now praying for him and his family, along with the family of my sponsor child, Iba, and his family as well.
Karina says:
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m really sorry for Yoseph’s loss. May the love of God find him through other avenues.
CardsFan says:
Dude, sorry. Praying Psalm 68:4-5 for Yoseph, that God would be his protector and provider and put His song in his heart.
Holly @ Crownlaiddown says:
Praying for that sweet boy and his family. Praying for his health and their hearts to be kept in Jesus’ care. Like our child wrote, which is still changing my life–“I pray that God will always help us to love…”
Shelly says:
That is so sad…but just remember that even though you may not know where he is – God does. Praying that he remembers the seed that was planted.
deirdre says:
oh Shaun. I am so sorry.
Angie Wilkinson says:
crying and praying with you.
Jennifer says:
I’m very sorry. I sponsored a beautiful girl in Thailand who lived in a hostel. She wrote about how much she loved the hostel and how she was able to worship God there. She was learning how to sew scarves and improving in school. She shared her heart with me and we were very close. Then I got that dreaded call. Her parents pulled her out of the program to come live with them again (I assume to work on the rice fields she told me were coming into harvest that month). My heart was broken. Didn’t they understand how much happier she was at the hostel? Didn’t they know how much I loved her?
All I know is that God is in control and has us in these childrens’ lives exactly when we need to be. He will continue to work in their lives and grow the seeds that Compassion has planted. I pray for her often and know that we will meet again in Heaven.
And it’s just as strange to cry for someone you’ve never met.
I just said a prayer for Gresham. I know this is going to be very hard for him.
Karen Spencer says:
12 years ago our first sponsored child, Hirut Kibede, also in Ethiopia, left sponsorship for the unknown. That notification of her departure changed our lives – I still think about her and pray for her, and it made me even more conscious of the struggle/battle for each child. We will pray for Yoseph by name and for your family, Gresham specifically, as you passionately serve children around the world in desperate need.
Heather U says:
Praying for you all and for Yoseph’s family as well. Although Compassion only had a small amount of data about Yoseph’s current situation that they were able to share with you… the Lord has all the data. He knows every detail of Yoseph’s life; where he staying right now, who is watching him, every hope and fear and dream he may have. He cares about all of it no matter how big or small and mundane it may seem to us. How great to know we serve a God who cares about the details of our every day lives and who is with us no matter where we roam. So while we join you in the sadness of not being able to communicate with Yoseph right now, or to know what is going on with him, we are also confident that the Lord will continue to provide for his physical and spiritual needs.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31
misty says:
Wow. I am praying for Yoseph and for your family. I can only imagine how sad I would be if my little Denis was no longer a part of my life.
What a wonderful heart you are instilling in your children!
Jeff Honnold says:
Shaun, my families thoughts and prayers are with you all. Just six months ago our family went through this exact same thing as the family of the little girl we sponsored through Compassion took her out of the program.
This was the little girl who was picked by my 10 year old daughter to sponsor (with mom and dad’s help until she’s old enough to do it on her own). It was hard for all of us and for especially for my daughter, but we continue to pray for her and her family (especially as her one prayer request was for her dad to know Jesus).
We are excited and thankful that Compassion has paired us up with another beautiful little girl named Stephany who is the same age as my daughter. We have already received a few letters from her and look forward to the relationship that will be formed.
Michelle says:
We now have 6 Compassion children as a part of our family and I can only imagine how hard it would be to get that letter. I found it amazing how our hearts opened up to these children before we even had their bios and pictures in our hands, how we were able to deeply love them before even getting a letter from them. I imagine you’ll mourn this loss for a while but I don’t doubt for even a minute that you have impacted Yoseph in so many ways. I know that your kindness and encouragement has been planted within his heart.
God bless you and your family!
~Michelle in NY
Kelli says:
That breaks my heart. 🙁
Teena says:
Thank you for sharing. We sponsor two children. One from compassion…his name is Ucok. He is in Indonesia. The other is from WorldHelp and her name is Jamira she is from Uganda.
Praying for you..your family…
I enjoy following you on twitter.
Tracy Edwards says:
That breaks my heart!
It happened to me, as well, with the first child I sponsored. However. . . the good news is that she came back to the program and Compassion contacted me, first, to see if I wanted to sponsor her again. So, she is back in the family and the prayers worked!!!
NancyTyler says:
I’m hurting for you, and with you.
Makes me think of some of the gang kids who are like sons to me, who have followed a trail of bad choices. There’s a certain ache that comes in loving somebody who has slipped out of reach.
Persevere in prayer, whether it’s for Yoseph and his family or your own friends or family who have become estranged from hope.
And rest in the peace of knowing that God knows how to bring them home to Him.
Kelly says:
We lost our first Compassion child also. We have a new one and though we haven’t met either one…..I still wonder if “little Richard” (that’s what we called him) is doing okay.
Christine says:
weeping with you… and praying in hope that God will protect and shepherd Yoseph into his kingdom
Michelle says:
We also have had a sponsor child depart, but because the father moved to an area for work and there were no projects in/near the new area. Her photo is still up on our board and we still pray daily for her, and our other two.
Christine says:
This is so sad. I am so sorry! I will pray that they reconsider.
I didn’t have the tech savvy to place one of the official Compassion blog buttons on my blog. I don’t know much about altering the HTML. I found that I could, however, copy yours, featuring your picture, and use it on my blog. I hope that is okay?
Roberta says:
Departure is so hard…I almost had the same fate when we moved and my bank accounts got messed up and my auto-draft was stopped and Compassion thought I had stopped it and notified me to send departure letters to my two “kids”…that’s how I feel about them…they are my “kids”! It was on a Sat. that I got the letter and I quickly fired off an email telling them that it was a big mistake and I wasn’t stopping my sponsorship…eekkkk On Monday the office contacted me and everything was put back to where it belonged. I was in such a state the whole weekend thinking that I had lost my “kids” so I know exactly how you and your family are feeling. We can only pray that what little involvement we have with our “kids” has made an impact and place our hands on our hearts and “give it up to God”…all will be well because it is in “His” hands. Thinking of you and and yours in “His” hands, fondly, Roberta
MamasBoy says:
Sorry to hear that. I’ve been wondering if that will happen to one of my sponsored kids. He’s in the middle of high school, and I’ve been sponsoring him for 9 or so years, but recently he dropped out of school to help his dad on the farm. I didn’t even know Compassion would let a kid stay with the program if they dropped out of school, and I’m wondering if this will last. I had been hoping to save enough to visit him for his high school graduation in a couple years, but now I don’t know how long he’ll even remain in the program. Do you know what Compassion’s policy is for kids who drop out of school, or if there is one?
Shaun Groves says:
I’ve never heard of a child staying in the program but not being in school. If I were you I’d call Compassion (that 800 number on all the stuff you get from them) and ask how they’re making that work. Again, I’ve never heard or seen tat myself so I’m curious. Let me know what you find out.
MamasBoy says:
Thanks for the reply. I’ll call Compassion and go back and reread the letter. If you’ve never heard of it happening, maybe he was talking about next school year and something was lost in the translation.
MamasBoy says:
I spoke with Compassion staff in CO Springs. They said that no firm decision had been made yet, that they knew of, regarding Samuel dropping out They also said that, though they discouraged the practice, it might be possible for Samuel to continue with Compassion after quitting school if he were to continue to show commitment to the Compassion program. He said that might constitute attendance at a couple afterschool meetings or a Saturday morning meeting each week. I say “meeting” for lack of a better word. I wasn’t quite clear on what these program meeting things consist of, just that they require attendance on the part of the child. Anyway, I guess things are still in limbo. I hope he is able to continue his education and stay in the program.
Lindsay @ Not2Us says:
Shaun, I am so sorry. I’ll be praying for you, Becky, and Gresham as you grieve this departure. I’ll be praying for Yoseph, praying that God continues to reveal himself to Yoseph and that Yoseph hears God’s call and follows Christ.
Our “oldest” Compassion child, Pracidia, wrote me a few weeks ago to tell me of the death of her brother. I cried for days. I pray, with all of my heart, that her brother knew Jesus before he died. I pray, with all of my heart, that there’s nothing I could have done differently to protect his life or to personally introduce him to the gospel. I wrote to him in many of Pracidia’s letters to let him know that I loved him and I was praying for him. I have asked, multiple times, to sponsor all of Pracidia’s siblings. (I think there is one more living.) I have never gotten an answer, but I assumed that, if they needed sponsors, I would have been answered.
Anyway, it’s not the same, but I know what you mean about a nephew that’s too far away to visit frequently. It hurts.
Again, I’ve gotten to wordy. All of this to say, I’m sorry your heart is hurting. I’m sorry to hear of Yoseph’s departure. And I’ll be praying for all of you.
Jill Foley says:
so sad and heartbreaking
Tater Mama says:
One of my students last year wrote, “Hope makes it possible for dreams to come true.” I hope this child will always know Christ’s love, and I hope he might find his way back to Compassion.
I rarely come out of hiding to comment, but this post made me weep.
JD says:
Shaun, what a difficult experience, even when we know that God’s plans are best, and that His eye is on “the sparrow”, Yoseph, it’s still hard to lose contact when you’re poured so much heart and soul into a relationship. I believe it’s his departure that led you to Achile, who needs heart surgery, am I correct? I’m trying to connect the pieces kind of backwards 🙂 God had a plan, even when we couldn’t see it, eh?
On January 20th, 2010, we received two letters from Compassion, telling us that two of the three girls we sponsored from Honduras had both left the program. Emily’s family had moved from the area, we later received a beautiful letter from the Compassion Center’s director, which I cherish… Martha simply stopped attending the Compassion Center in her area. I got a chance to write them both a final letter, which really helped the kids and I with the separation.
When we started sponsoring Emily, she had beautiful red hair. I’m married to a red head (more of an auburn now), and our daughter has reddish hair, so we thought it was so sweet that Emily had red hair… and found it so unexpected to see later photos of her, with jet black hair.
It wasn’t until after she left the program, when we prayed for God to let us know that we’d somehow made a difference even for a short while, that He revealed to us through outside sources that the reason her hair had been red was due to malnutrition, and that by the time she had left the program, she was healthier, stronger, and with a head of jet black hair. Praise Him!! Not only that, but her family was stable enough to move in search of work.
I never imagined receiving two letters in one day, but I took great comfort in knowing that God’s eyes are on those two precious girls that I still pray for every day. I have their photos on my desk at work. Their departure, though very difficult and surprising, has opened the doors to sponsoring two more children, and we’ve since decided to add two more, plus two correspondence sponsorships. I’ve also joined the Advocate network… just had to, since that’s all I talk about anyway!
Time with these precious children is never guaranteed, that’s why it’s so important to write and to build the relationship while God grants us the opportunity.
Kim says:
I lost a little girl I was sponsoring in Brazil… her family pulled her from the program and it was pretty devastating to me- emotionally.
I still worry about, and wonder what she is doing… and I continue pray for my little Kimberly. Of all my sponsored children Kimberly’s situation sounded the most dire- Compassion actually found her after Kimberly and her brother had gotten lost in the city(they were collecting scrap cardboard to sell).
God had always told me “This one will only be in your life for a short while…” But I took the leap of faith and decided to sponsor her anyway after I had seen she had been waiting over 6 months for a sponsor(even though I thought I was at my financial max- when it came to the 4 I was sponsoring). But God provided for me and Kimberly during that time….even as we built a relationship I felt God preparing me for that phone call- I knew I would receive.
And when I did- I still cried. I still grieved for the loss of communication and the fear- that Kimberly was back to collecting cardboard. I grieved for the little sister I had lost.
These kids really become like family- their struggles and trimuphs/failures become yours….and they become ‘yours’ in the sense that- you just want the best for them- spiritually, physically, and emotionally… and you know that Compassion is really looking out for their best interests.
I still consider -Kimberly to be a little sister and I am trusting that God is taking of her… I hope that my small letters of encouragement- offered her some sort of comfort and brought her slightly close to believing that was special to me and most importantly to God.
I truly believe everyone is brought into our lives for a purpose… and I know there was a reason why Kimberly was in my life and why I was brought into hers… if nothing else Kimberly taught me that love is sometimes(even when you know your heart will be broken) is a risk worth taking.
I hope to see her in God’s really BIG HOUSE one-day and I hope I can finally give her that hug! In my mind she is still the 6 year old girl on Compassion’s website my heart couldn’t say ‘no’ too…