Shaun Groves
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” Milton Burle asked. I’m wondering the same thing tonight.
This morning Becky left for Arkansas to attend her cousin’s funeral and, truthfully, to get a break from us. This trip of hers happens to fall on the one weekend I’m home this month, which is the weekend I’ve planned to get every remaining pre-ordered and ordered copy of the new CD in the mail.
But instead of stuffing envelopes this morning I got three kids dressed in two shirts and two pairs of socks each, gloves and hats. The end of the world is near. It snowed in Nashville. We built a man out of the stuff. I swear. A real man. Look.
Well, Gresham (age 4) and I did. The ladies are allergic to snow. It makes them whine. So they stayed inside watching more videos than their mother allows and eating things she keeps hidden until they go to bed. Then we made a tent.
Well, I made a tent…and the kids apparently got a hold of some bad acid. “I feel shiny, Daddy.”
Hey, whatever keeps them happy and still. Very very still. I’ve got two more days of wishing I had two of me, or just the other half of me back in town, and I’m running out of things to do with snow and sheets. Any ideas?
(Special thanks to Redneck Neighbor’s wife who brought me a Coke from Sonic tonight, which contained just enough caffeine to get me through story time and this post. Off to bed.)
Aims says:
Try having your kids make snowflakes out of paper plates. Shouldn’t be as messy as the gumdrop reindeer or the chocolate pudding writing idea. Or you could do thumb print men/women/dogs/lions/birds etc etc and make a picture.
1)All you do is ink up your thumb real good with a pen/marker and make a little thing out of your thumb print. Really cool things that shouldn’t be too messy. That way you’ll have all kinds of art work to give mommy when she gets back without much clean up.
2)You do know how to fold the paper plate to do the snowflake right? If you don’t just fold the paper plate into a triangle of sort and start cutting little triangles and zigzags you get the picture then unfold it and ta-da ya got your self a snowflake. It’s usually also better if you cut off the ribbed edge around the plate to make it look more authentic.
Hmm what else can I think of? You could try the I’m going to the North Pole to see Santa Clause game. In this case since the kids don’t do the whole Santa Clause thing change it to Jesus or something.
3)Basically it’s teaching them letters and things that begin with the first letter of their name and the first letter of their last name.
The game is played this way…I say: “I’m going to the North Pole to see Santa Clause and am taking only an apple and a house (because my initials are A.H.) If you want to come with me tell me two things you’re bringing and I’ll tell you if you can come with me or not.”
After a while you have to let one of your kids in on the secret but it’s actually a good game to help them to recognize the alphabet.
4)Use your imagination and play some kinda pretend game like zoo or something, use that tent and play Indians trust me playing as a horse for your kids and having them ride on your back should tire all 4 of you out in time enough for…
5) NAP TIME!!
6) If you want to rile them up wrestle with them and then tickle them to death.
7) Tell really retarded jokes such as “Knock, knock” “Who’s there?” “Nobody.” (okay so that one was lame but hey it works) Or try my world famous mayonnaise joke “What kind of mayonnaise does Jesus use on his sandwiches?…Miracle Whip. What kind of mayonnaise does Satan use on his sandwiches?…Hellman’s.” Of course right after that you have to act like it’s funny and it usually the laughter that sets people off not the actual joke it’s self.
8) You want to impress them try doing a little science experiment like the whole baking soda and vinegar exploding volcano kinda thing.
9) Make instruments like take empty toilet paper rolls or paper towel rolls and wrap one end with wax paper put a rubber band around the wax paper to hold it in place and you have a kazoo. Or do a rain maker same idea only put beans inside the roll and wax paper on both ends held on by rubber bands. Or you could put beans between two paper plates staple the paper plates together and you have a tambourine of sorts. Take a shoe box or Kleenex box and tie strings on it for a guitar. You and your kids could write songs and play their instruments.
Bryan Riley says:
Oh, man, I’m so glad my buddy Stickley at toward the goal sent me this way. Great first post to read. As my wife and I have moved from our professional careers to full-time mission work, I have learned to appreciate all the more how much she did while I was off at work, working so hard… i thought.
It sounds like you had a great time through all the suffering.
Seth Ward says:
No way that’s Penelope.
It was like two days ago she was in Phil’s office in the stroller drooling away.
I invented a game once, babysitting my sister’s 3 kids, where they all three run back and forth in the yard and the last one to be left standing was the winner. They were napping in 20 minutes.
Again, sorry for your loss. We’re praying for your family.
freedom1st says:
Shaun,
Try http://familyfun.go.com for ideas. we subscribe to the magazine. It gives my wife ideas. I understand the dilemma, I had 1 kid out of school with flu this week and the rest of the family popping tamiflu to stay ahead of the game. with my wife and I both in grad school, juggling the sick kid was tons of fun.
And by the way there IS a limit to the number of times one can watch or listen to a Care Bears video before one snaps.
Matt says:
Snow in Nashville, huh?
As I type this comment it is five below zero outside of my house, wind chill is twenty-two below.
Wanna come for a visit?!?!
Kat says:
The other day I made cookies with my kids and they had a great time. If you want, just buy the slice and bake kind and then let them create their own shapes.
Once they’re cooked, give them some sprinkles and icing and they’re pretty happy for quite awhile decorating their snack.
Hide and seek is always fun.
Partner up with friends. It’s always easier and more fun for everyone if you do something with friends.
Hope it goes smoothly for you.
I’ll be praying for your wife’s family.
Grovesfan says:
Snow? It’s warm enough to snow? It was -23 (yes, minus!) when I started the truck this morning at 8:30 to take the girls to race their AWANA cars at the church this morning. It’s now up to -14. It’s very sunny outside now, but freezing none the less. It’s supossed to get down to -30 tonight with windchills even lower. Snow would be good. That would mean warmer weather.
As for the kids, enjoy! Take lots of pictures. Let them take pictures. Have them write and then put on a play. A twisted fairy tale is always great.
Beth
euphrony says:
Shaun,
You must be doing some work besides kid-play. I got my copy of ONIR in the mail today. Thanks!
Jules says:
Hey Shaun,
It’s been awhile since I checked in with your blogworld. This makes me realize how difficult it is for my husband when I leave for 5 days to a worship conference or women’s retreat.
Aims had some great ideas. It probably wears you out just reading it.