One of my sisters-in-law works in New York city, um, I’m not sure what the correct terminology is…doing hair for television and film.  She’s worked in Faith and Hope and All My CHildren and Dukes of Hazzard, something called Beerfest that isn’t out yet and other stuff too I’m sure I’m forgetting.  (Of course her crowning achievement was the transformation of dorky me into a (soft) rock star with spikey hair for my debut CD years ago.)

She’ll remain nameless along with the villain in this story for obvious reasons.  Sister-in-law is working on a film with a cast of Oscar winners.  They bring onto the set their tremendous talent but also equally tremendous egos.  The female star of this motion picture, for instance, treats those around her with contempt and brags often about the mean and twisted things she’s recently done to them: her famous husband, her hair dresser, her assistant, the guy who brought her lunch.  She’s that caricature diva we hope doesn’t truly exist but apparently does.

One day, for example, the shoot was running long.  Catering was gone for the day.  Everyone was hungry.  So some kind someone bought a pile of fried chicken for the cast and crew to snack on.  The diva flipped out.  She cursed and warned that she could fire whomever had done this heinous thing to her. 

The heinous thing?  Well, in her contract it states clearly that there will never be food eaten around her while she’s working – no matter how hungry those around her become.  So the chicken was put away and the cast and crew continued to work with growling stomachs and even more contempt for the diva than before.

I’m trying to empathize with her as I retell this story, to make an excuse for her.  Of course, I think to myself, hounding paparazzi, million dollar incomes and limo drivers could mess with anyone’s mind.  Maybe mine.  Maybe we’d all lose perspective and begin to worship ourselves if everyone else bowed to us daily for so long.

But then I think of the numerous stories I’m told by promoters, fans and radio stations on the road: “Christian” artists who are almost as demanding and self-centered, refusing to sing without room temperature water, never mingling with fans, unwilling to do interviews before noon to promote a show, blowing off interviews booked for weeks without apology, cursing and fighting with each other and crew back stage, trashing green rooms, running up large bar bills at hotels for promoters to later pay, never saying the simple “thank you” for a job well done by sound men and volunteers.  And I’ve got plenty of first-hand stories of my own to share if I ever feel like decimating a career or thirty.

No, egos and self-worship are just as prevalent in my industry as in sister-in-law’s.  And what about in business – the top salesman in an office struts around offering advice when he’s not asked for it.  Preachers: bragging about the size of their budget or the conference they just taught at, constantly drawing attention to how wonderful and wise they are.  The beautiful people in school: Refusing to even speak with those below their station.  The college athlete: boarding our plane with sunglasses on and no manners for the flight attendant.

But there are good guys in our industries too, people unaffected by their level of fame and fortune.  Alec Baldwin is a good guy on the set right now with my sister-in-law and Downhere is a band in Christian circles I consistently hear great things about from promoters and fans alike.

So I wonder then, what keeps Alec and Downhere from acting like those other egomaniacs?  What about status or success brings out the ego in some of us?  And how do the humble stay that way regardless of how much they achieve or earn admiration?