Continuing to repost essays I wrote long ago about depression – for those struggling this Winter or loving someone who is. Here’s part five…
Jesus didn’t float out of his tomb as a disembodied spirit. And he won’t come back as one. And this is all really good stuff to remember when you’re depressed or trying to help someone who is. I’ll try to explain why.
Some Christians – including me, until recently – aren’t sure what to make of depression. Just ask some of them for help if you’re ever in the thick of it and you’ll learn pretty quickly that Christians don’t agree on whether depression is a physical, mental or spiritual problem.
So let’s forget about the Christians for a minute. Let’s ask the Jews instead.
Jews in Jesus’ day didn’t separate the body from the spirit from the mind. Bow the body before God and the spirit bows too. Raise the body from the grave and the spirit lives too. Eat unclean food and the whole person – body and spirit and mind – is made unclean. Renew your mind and the spirit comes along. Salvation was even believed to affect the body, mind and spirit. The three were inseparable in Jewish thought.
And the earliest Christians – and Jesus – were Jews. They believed that humans – forever – would be thinking, feeling, spiritual beings with bodies.
But, my friend William explained to me, when Greek (Platonist?) philosophers started converting to Christianity in, I think he said, the fourth Century, they brought into the churches their Greek understanding of how human beings are constructed. Those guys believed the spirit, mind and body were separate things – (mostly) independent dimensions of who we are.
We modern Christians in the West are believing those guys over the bible when we refuse to recognize the interplay and interdependence of the spiritual, mental and physical planes. They’re all us.
When the darkness swallowed me up earlier this month some Christians only told me to take an anti-depressant to correct my serotonin problem and then just wait for the depression to go away – while keeping my distance from sharp objects. Others might wonder if I have a secret sin problem, or say I’m not trusting God enough, or I’m not praying enough, or I’m being spiritually attacked or disciplined or prepared for something great God wants me to do next. Still others have said I need to see a counselor because there must be unresolved anxieties and latent fears or childhood wounds that are now coming out as depression.
But I believe when I’m sick, whether it’s a cold or cancer, all of me is affected. And that goes for depression too.
PHYSICAL
No doubt the electrical currents and chemicals in my brain just stopped working right. I took the lowest possible dose (50mg) of a naturally occurring amino acid called 5-HTP for that instead of an anti-depressant. (Warning: Taking this stuff while taking an anti-depressant can be fatal.) 5-HTP is a precursor to serotonin, which means my body naturally turned the 5-HTP into enough serotonin that I no longer thought about hurting myself and no longer cried uncontrollably for no reason at all. Oh, and I could think one or two thoughts at a time and sleep. That was pretty handy.
I also ate a lot of really good food – unprocessed food; mostly fruits, vegetables and nuts. And I drank a lot of real juices full of nutrients too. I’m exercising because studies have shown that exercise alleviates depression more than any other one physical thing a person can do. I also drank lots of water, made sure I got enough sleep – but not too much – got at least an hour of sun every day for a good dose of vitamin D, and stayed off the sugar.
MENTAL
I started seeing a counselor who also believes the spirit, body and mind are intertwined. He’s helping me figure out if my thinking or feelings (or my thinking about my feelings) helped trigger this depression or made it worse once it arrived. He hasn’t found any smoking guns yet, but we’ll get there. It’s a scary uncomfortable thing to tell a guy I don’t know everything about me, but well worth it.
SPIRITUAL
I do not believe everything down here has been determined, that every “territory” has been divvied up. No, I think there’s a lot of ground in dispute, up for grabs, being fought for. And you and I are in the middle of that fight.
I am not a naturalist either. I do not believe all we see is all there is, that everything is observable and measurable.
The lines between the spiritual and physical and mental are very blurry. I don’t know exactly what God’s plan for or participation in my depression was. I don’t know exactly what Satan’s was either. But I know both played a part. And one of them is really ticked off about how things have turned out.
(More on exactly how we fought and continue to fight in the spiritual dimension of depression later. And I promise to be as specific as I can be and use as few ambiguous war metaphors as possible.)
Twenty days of depression, no matter how “severe” a doctor says it was, does not make me an expert on the subject. Not even close. I don’t know why this happened to me or why it’s now ended for the most part. But I wonder if my friends and family and I didn’t aggressively fight the darkness in every dimension, would I still be in it?
Lindsay says:
Thanks for sharing your holistic approach. I think eating well, exercising, etc. is good for us all – whether we suffer from depression or anxiety or not. Our physical health or unhealth is always tied to our spiritual and mental health or unhealth. Have you read “Every Body Matters” by Gary Thomas? I decided to get serious about my physical health last year (I was 30 lbs overweight), and this book was instrumental for me. Once again, thank you Shaun.
Ryan Bult says:
Shaun, as someone that has battled depression, for the most part successfully, I admire your efforts to both understand and clarify the mysteries of depression. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that all 3 components: spiritual, physical, and mental are important and necessary for one working through a bout of depression. Years ago, I thought a pill would solve everything and although it offered temporary relief, much more was needed. After sitting with a Christian counselor, I was reminded of the continued role God was playing in my own life, but I also had to address the way my brain was working. Over time I changed the negative self-talk in my head and reminded myself that when anxiety and depressed reared their ugliness, it was only temporary. That was a game-changer for me! I have not done counseling in several years, still take meds, and still commit my life and my struggles to God. Life is good for me and it can be for so many others! People do not need to suffer alone or run from treatment because it would be in some way counterintuitive to God’s plan. I love the focus on this topic, glad you are doing better, and hope your words will provide a path for healing to someone reading today!
Rena Robinson Gunther says:
I want you to know that I am so appreciative of this series.
This post makes me think of the Trinity. One God in three persons.
Thank you for sharing your story. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb AND the word of our testimony.
Ingrid says:
From someone who has suffered from depression, you hit the nail on the head! It has to be looked at as all 3. It wasn’t until I came to peace with that did I find relief. These past few years have been good but I know the warning signs. I have a plan in place and also know what I need to do to prevent it. Many, many Christians don’t understand that the physical has to be calculated into the equation along with the rest. Thanks for writing this and I pray it will help someone out there.
David Lindner says:
Thanks so much for sharing what you’re finding about depression. It’s got such a stigma attached to it, especially in Christian circles and leadership circles. The fact that you’re talking openly about it is tremendous. Also, thanks for sharing what is working.
Carla says:
Thank you so much for this! I have also found answers to my physical and mental ailments by eating well and taking 5-htp and Vitamin B6 (the building blocks of serotonin). If you look at the Biology and Chemistry of what happens when food is digested, it makes absolute sense that everything is connected! I have heard the stomach referred to as “the first brain” because what you eat can so dramatically effect what goes on in your brain chemically.
Your blog is a great source of encouragement and I think you will encourage many readers just by sharing your struggles with depression. Thanks for being brave and sharing!
Tammy G says:
THANK YOU for opening up about your struggle! These posts have been SO timely for me, as I have struggled for years. I am now seeing a counselor AND a doctor (who is a Christian and leans more towards holistic healing). I also take 5 HTP, as I like to avoid synthetic medication if at all possible.
As I met with my dr. this week, he told me that anxiety is mainly a spiritual problem… not trusting God to do what He says He will do… After much thought and prayer, I mostly agree with his thoughts. Although, like you, I do agree also that it is all linked together; mind, body, spirit. No one thing is going to be the “fix all” for the problem. We have to address all 3 to see and feel healing.
Thank you, Shaun! Praying that you have found true healing and that your encouragement helps many others, as it has helped me.
ONLY by His grace…
shana says:
I appreciate so much following along with this series (since I missed it the first time around). Thanks for being real and authentic so that others can benefit from it. Have a great day today and God bless!
Shana
susan says:
Hi Shaun – It takes courage to write about this authentically, making yourself vulnerable to feelings that may pull you back to the dark path.
Thank you for taking that risk so that we all benefit.
Peace & Blessings to you and your amazing family.