Shaun Groves
It’s been twenty years since I graduated from Robert E. Lee high school in Tyler, Texas. I’m headed back there this weekend for a reunion.
An older wiser friend of mine says there’s no need to be anxious. None at all, he says. There are only three things that matter at high school reunions, he says: hair, waist and wife.
Hair
Believe it or not, much improved since 1992. Right after graduation I entered my Nirvana stage and grew my hair out long. This was immediately followed by the Jars of Clay phase, during which I pulled said long hair into a ponytail. This was followed by my sister-in-law turning my locks into the topiary I have today.
And yes, it has turned gray and receeded slightly and, yes, after I shower it does look like someone shaved a cat in there. But the important thing is – and let’s not lose sight of the important thing, friends – I still have my hair. Most of it.
Waist
When I graduated high school I was 5′ 10″ and weighed 120 pounds fully clothed and dripping wet. I’ll give you a moment to let that visual sink in sufficiently. Mmm…moving on.
My waist has expanded over the years, but for me that’s been a slide in the right direction, I think we can all agree. I’m now 6′ 2″ and, well, heavier. Depends if there’s a lot of humidity and exactly how large my hair is. On a Summer day in Houston, when in need of a trim, I’m a hoss. In Arizona? Not so much. But still much improved over 1992.
Wife
In my youth I was picky and loyal and, apparently, brotherly. So, it was either “I like you like a brother,” or we went on one date and I never asked her out again, or we stayed together for six months to three years. And I always dated better than I deserved. Apparently (band) chicks dig sax players.
But then I graduated. And picked up a guitar. And the Summer after high school its superior powers caused an otherwise discerning woman four years older and waaaay outta my league to ask me out on a date. We’ve been together ever since.
Score.
So, yea, I’ve got nothing to worry about. The reunion is high school without Algebra, bullies, soy burgers or curfew. And with better hair, a thicker waist and a smokin’ hot date? Bring it.
Of course, these three things aren’t what matter most to me as we head to Texas.
I’m going back home because I want to see my first best friends, the people who loved me enough to be seen in public with me despite that hair of mine…or the million character defects that made it hard somedays for even me to like me. Those twelve guys, and cruising Broadway in a sweet RX-7 on Friday nights listening through a stack of cassette tapes, got me through high school. A face-to-face thank you is long overdue.
And you graduated when? What was your reunion like?
Jolanthe says:
A long time ago…in a galaxy far, far away. Or as my son {so kindly} mentioned today ~ back in the 1900’s.
Nothing like feeling old.
This week has been a jump back to high school as my best friend throughout just lost her husband over the weekend. Not exactly the way that our small high school class wanted to reconnect, but thankful they are all so amazingly supportive during this time.
Shaun Groves says:
Wow, glad you all were able to be there for her. And after all this time. Since the 1900’s? ; )
Jolanthe says:
pretty sure he meant 1980’s. 🙂 stinker. sadly though, that is in the 1900’s…
eva says:
I didn’t know you graduated from Lee 🙂 I’m a bit (ahem) older than you, but I’m a JT graduate. Never went to a reunion, until the 25th. It was better than I’d expected, and worse. Go shine Light!
Jessica says:
Oh the ears. How have I never noticed the ears?
So THAT’s why you grew your hair out. . .
(Disclaimer: I’m just joshin’ ya, man. No offense meant. God gave you great ears . . . the better to hear Him with.)
Jessica says:
Btw, my 10 year reunion was last summer. I completely avoided it. Like the hair, waist, and wife plague.
Kathi says:
1993. I have a year yet to worry about my hair, waist, and….well, surely the criteria isn’t completely universal.
Lisa @stretchmarkmama says:
My 20th reunion is in two months…which explains the sudden interest in riding a bike and whitening my teeth (though not at the same time). I was voted “most likely to succeed” as well as “class clown” which means I have exactly sixty days to become Jim Gaffigan.
Jessica says:
So that the boys can whisper “hot pocket!” when you walk by?
Shaun Groves says:
I’d say you’re still funny and pretty dang successful too. And Jim Gaffigan’s pale.
Sara says:
My 10 year is next month… I’ll let you know how pain(ful)(less) it is. 🙂
Shaun Groves says:
I missed my ten year reunion for my oldest boy’s birth. Well, I didn’t exactly “miss” it. ; )
Barbara says:
Graduated in 1993. No reunions yet. Can’t imagine going to one, actually. I remember my last day of High School, the drama teacher said to me, “Hold on to this moment: these are the best days of your life!” To which I replied, “Well then, I’d best be finding myself a bridge off which to jump, because, if this is as good as it gets, my life is going to be very, very bad.”
So much angst in such a young body in those days! Yikes.
However, life has gotten much, much better as time goes on (praise the Lord for His abundant grace!). And I could almost (almost!) ramp up to go to a reunion if one were to be held. *If* they invited me…(sulky sniffle) Ha! 🙂
Shaun Groves says:
Well, we’re Gen-Xers. Angst is what we do better than anyone else.
I’m with you though. Life is much better after high school.
Kelli says:
1996, Lafayette High School. I was a bundle of angst and spastic energy. I think my hair is better now than then, but my waist is also thicker, which isn’t quite as exciting for me. And I do have a smokin’ date to bring along – one who is much better at working a room than I am. Thank heavens. 🙂 I have a few more years before the 20th reunion, which kind of makes me want to throw up because I remember my parents going to THEIR 20th high school reunions…and they were so old then!
Shaun Groves says:
Yes you…I mean, they were.
Kelli says:
Watch it…
krisyoursis says:
1997…15 yr. coming up in October. The hair is much better (poof bangs are GONE–hallelujah!), the hubs is a total Jesus-lovin;, Matt Damon-lookin’ (only better) hottie….all that’s left to fix: the waist–can’t decide which would be better: the hard work that comes with a colon cleanse diet, or the grace that comes with a positive pregnancy test. 😉
krisyoursis says:
SO, an update. I read the new “Wheat Belly” book, stopped eating wheat, lost a pants size in a week, and THEN had a positive pregnancy test yesterday. 🙂 (best of both, I suppose?)
Shana says:
Hey, it’s my 20th HS reunion this summer too. Guess that makes us the same age. Have a fun time at your reunion!
Shaun Groves says:
Yep. We’re both equally old.
Melissa Jones says:
I graduated HS in 1994 (Go Johnny-O!). They had a 10-yr, but I was overseas at the time. I emailed the folks who were organizing it (the “popular” kids from way-back-when) to ask if they wanted me to send a video greeting explaining why I wasn’t there….and never heard from them. But then again, with only a very few exceptions, my friends were all a year older than me or two years younger than me, so seeing my “class” again isn’t a huge deal.
But let’s see:
Hair – currently exactly the same as it was at the end of hs (no bangs, straight (it doesn’t do much else), and down to my waist)
Waist – a couple of inches bigger, but I’ve had three kids, so I’m not complaining. I’m only ~15 lbs heavier than I was then, and that’s only ~5 over my “normal” (pre-pregnancies) range.
Wife – nope…don’t have one of those. But I’ve got a smokin’ hot(t) husband, so I think I’m good there too!
Plus, life is just good. The human part of me wouldn’t mind seeing if the “beautiful people” have fared as well as me (the assumption being that they haven’t, neener, neener, neener)! 🙂 We’ll see what happens in a couple of years!
Shaun Groves says:
Well, I gotta side with the popular kids on this one. Sending a video greeting to you reunion is a little unorthodox. Must be more to that story.
Melissa Jones says:
I was in Baghdad and wasn’t going to make the reunion. While I didn’t really think that many people would look around the room and say, “where’s Melissa?” I thought my story was interesting enough to warrant a “Hey! I’d be there, but I’m off doing interesting things, helping people in a war zone! I’m so cool now that I couldn’t even come to your little reunion in boring old _America_.”
Heh…maybe I’ll have more friends at my 20th since I _didn’t_ send my “well wishes!”
But at the same time, if the point of the reunion was to see what/how everyone’s doing, I would have been accomplishing the intended purpose while not traveling halfway around the world to do so!
Melissa Jones says:
Also, I wouldn’t have minded a “Hey, that’d be great, but we have no way to show it to people. It’s nice to hear from you though and we’ll tell everyone you said hello!” It was the silence that got my dander up more than anything. The popular people were ignoring the band geek once again. Le sigh…
Christine says:
OK, first I need to know how TWELVE of you cruised Broadway in an RX-7?! Band geeks in a Mazda…is that anything like popes in a Volkswagen?!
I graduated in 1989 and I wish I could say that the reunion thing is compelling to me, but it just isn’t. The people I care about from back then, from that time in my life when “The Simpsons” was still a brand new show for Fox, I keep in touch with them. There are a handful of others I’d be interested in catching up with, but they’re all too far flung to come back to reunion. My husband, who left high school early, has less than no interest in going to his own reunions so going to mine isn’t going to happen. Which means no showing off the awesome husband. I too, have better hair than I did in high school (how could I not – it was 1989 for heaven’s sake!). As for the waist…it’s locate-able, but it’s been through the baby years. It’s a few years yet til our 25th, but looking at the FB pix from the 20th a few years ago didn’t leave me with a ton of regret that I didn’t go. Color me thoroughly ambivalent…
Shaun Groves says:
Poor sentence construction on my part ; ). Only three of the twelve in the RX-7 on any given Friday night.
Vicki Small says:
Any of you could afford an RX-7 in high school??? Were you dealing drugs?
That question is what you get for making me feel like the oldest woman on the planet. My first husband and I owned an RX-2, and RX-4, and–AFTER our divorce, he bought himself an RX-7. I got one ride in it, though it was short. I was stuck with the RX-4 5-door until it died.
brad says:
20 year reunion was a few years back for me (2007, I’ll let ya’ll do the math). Didn’t go, didn’t really want to. High school years weren’t something much to recall for me. I made some stupid decisions, played a lot of sports, was involved in student government…but was so glad to get it behind me. I guess I’m just embarrassed by the person I was and I’m just not that keen to be reminded. Yeah, I’m a chicken.
Kit says:
I graduated in ’99, from a private Christian high school– thus there hasn’t been much in the way of reunions. That’s ok with me, it was a great education but not much positive in the way of social interactions. I still have nightmares sometimes.
Vicki Small says:
What a sad commentary, that at you private CHRISTIAN high school, you had “a great education, but not much positive in the way of social interactions.” That’s really sad. And are you serious about the nightmares?
Kit says:
slightly joking, but yeah. it was not a great teen experience, unfortunately. it was a small school. I was much happier once I got to college and there was a larger variety of people to befriend, I realized I was normal after all 😉
amy says:
I graduate 15 years ago from good ol’ REL! Went to the 10-yr reunion and had a great time. Hope your time in Tyler is enjoyable.
(I never cruised Broadway, but my husband did, in either his friend’s 1960-something Ford Fairlane or his own 1985 Toyota Celica Supra. Yeesh.)
Christine Hoover says:
How fun that you’re going back! This post brings back really good memories of Lee days, band days, and all you older boys that put up with their younger sisters and their friends.
And I never knew that Becky asked you out on your first date…
Kit says:
BTW, I just caught up on your blog after the disconnect time that comes from moving to a new house, and want to say thanks for your “porn star” post. It is timely for me as I have been “strongly disliking” my marriage for a while now. I have always been good to avoid things like the Magic Mike movie and the 50 Shades of Gray books, and even certain music, but am finding that it’s still not enough. You spelled it out for me that I need to go beyond the obvious with avoiding comparisons. It’s a struggle as I watch many friends NOT avoid things but fully indulge in books and movies and fantasies, and they appear to be enjoying their marriages much more than I am. So thanks for the reminder and challenge. I have a lot to think through, I guess.
Rick Starr says:
Shaun…first of all, are you coming just for the reunion or will you be doing a show in the area because you know I miss seeing you and I know you “Miss Texas”. Next, I graduated 1984 and I went to my 20 year graduation in 2004. Hair…very little, waist, very big and wife…not yet. I got married in 2009. I intend to take her to my 30th if we have one.
Vicki Small says:
When I graduated is nobody’s business (yes, I’m feeling a bit touch-y about my age!), but I’ll tell you that we attended my 40-year COLLEGE class reunion a few years ago. I considered trying to sell everyone on the idea that I had been one of those brilliant children who entered college at the age of 10, but I finally accepted the fact that the others who would be attending were all there, in our freshman year. I also realized that, while we are MUCH older, most of us still have some memory cells that work.
Hair . . . that varied within the group; waist–that, too, varied, but expansion was visible in almost everyone, including me. I took my wonderful husband; I have occasionally thought I needed a wife, but never acquired one. My husband was a hit, though, with my friends–and they with him.
I was surprised that virtually all those I saw that I had known, back then, still looked like themselves. And I actually heard several people tell me that I looked “exactly the same,” so I decided to go with that, even though my old yearbook photos gag me. No spoon needed.
Lisa H says:
So fun! I didn’t know you’re from Tyler. I live just up the road in Lindale now, but I graduated high school in Washington in 96. I’m not quite to my 20 year yet and I haven’t made it to any of the reunions so far….probably won’t. Facebook is like a mini-reunion all the time anyway! 😉
Hope you have a fun weekend!
Amy says:
My 20 th is coming up in 2013. Yi, yi, YIKES, 😉
My hair is cooler, my waist is thicker, I have the hottest date ever and life is good 🙂
Jill Foley says:
My 20th is next month and sadly I won’t be going. Oregon to Illinois is just a little too far, especially since we just got back from NY. This is the first time I really wanted to go. I went to my 5 year and it was not fun….still too much of me wrapped up in and concerned with me.
My hair is flatter and less styled, my waist shows I’ve borne two children and my husband is a keeper (although he could use some help in the hair department – keeping it, that is).
brad says:
Wait a minute. You fit 12 guys in an RX-7? Excellent!
Tim Girard says:
Since I have almost no hair left, a waist that’s bigger than it should be, and a wife who won’t be able to make it to the reunion with me (which doesn’t change how beautiful, smart, interesting, and loving she is), I was feeling pretty crummy as I read most of your post. But, then I read “I don’t think these three things really matter at all.” I think you’re two-thirds right; the hair and the waist don’t matter. The wife, on the other hand, matters. I don’t want to think about who I might be if I weren’t married to her.
But, that’s not why I’m leaving this comment. I’m writing to say not only did I love you enough in high school to be seen in public with you, but I considered it an honor. I’m sure no one who reads your blog (whatever happened to calling it Schlog, by the way) will be surprised to hear me say that you were an amazing friend at a time in our lives when friends were everything. So, I’ll be responding to you thanks with a thank you right back.
To those who commented on the RX-7, Shaun didn’t say that we fit 12 guys in the car. (My wife says I’m a stickler for grammar. She’s right, so I feel compelled to point out that) Shaun’s careful and appropriate use of commas tells us that 1) the 12 guys got him through high school, and 2) cruising in the RX-7 on Friday nights also got him through high school, but the 12 guys did not necessarily cruise in the RX-7 together. As the person who drove that RX-7 (a gold 1984 model, like this one http://bit.ly/NhRhRz), I can assure you that we never fit more than 3 guys in it at one time. Of course, it actually only had two seats, so fitting three guys was tricky…right Shaun?
Shaun Groves says:
Are we supposed to hug now? Not gonna happen. Not in front of everyone else. See you this weekend.
And as the guy who had to lay down in the hatch of that car? “Tricky” is not the word I’d use to describe the fit. ; )
brad says:
Yes, but reading the post observing Shaun’s appropriate use of grammer is no where near as funny! Besides, while we never fit 12 guys in a car, there was one time we fit the entire drama club into my parents Mercury Marquis. We may have had 9 people in the car that day. The Merc was big, but that was still quite a squeeze. It didn’t end well when someone hit the shifter and slammed the car into reverse as we were going 60 miles an hour down the freeway. The wheels locked up, smoke billowed out of the air vents, one of the guys in the car screamed like a six year old girl. I kept control and was able to pull over to the side of the road as everyone then piled out of the car on the roadside and thanked divine providence that we were all still alive. Ah, good times…but also why my mind would go to stuffing large groups of people into motor vehicles.
Tara says:
Shaun I must say, I really enjoyed reading this entry & seeing the high school pictures. This is exactly how I remember you! Lots of great memories from the “1990’s”, & I’m so glad to say that Tiff & I were a part of a few of those moments, some school related & a lot church related. I can only pray my kids have the same wonderful memories from their childhood/Youth days. Happy to see to get to attend your reunion this weekend. Have fun!
Katie Axelson says:
Shaun, I think I’m on the right track! I’ve gain FOUR pounds since I graduated! … in 2007. Hair’s a disaster, but it’s really the “wife” part I’m worried about. 😉
Katie
Laura says:
I’m not from Tyler, but my dad’s family is and most of them still live there. My dad graduated from John Tyler (many years before you), but I have younger cousins who graduated from Lee (several years later). Small world.
The best thing about Tyler, in my opinion, is Bruno’s Pizza. Oh. So. Yummy. 🙂
Gina says:
My 10 year high school reunion is in 2013. Because of Facebook and occasional trips home, I’ve been able to keep up with those who mattered most to me in high school. Most of us don’t have wives (or husbands, in my case!) Most of us still have hair. I’m frequently told that I look exactly the same as my high school self (Or younger… Nothing like getting mistaken for a 14 year old!) Guess I really have no idea what to expect!
melissa stover says:
loved going back in time with you. how we change since high school! I graduated in 1988 and snagged myself a younger man (by 9 months) shortly after graduating. no comment on my waistline.
Liz Reeves says:
Love the old pics! Exactly how I remember you looking back in the old days at Pleasant Hill!
I graduated from Whitehouse in ’94. In 2004, my class had our 10 yr reunion, but I didn’t go. Honestly, I couldn’t think of a good reason to go. I only had superficial reasons. You know, see who got really fat, which guys were bald, find out all the gossip like who’s been to jail, etc, etc. If I could’ve thought of any positive reasons to be there, I would’ve gone, but I couldn’t.
Like someone else said, these days Facebook is like a mini-reunion every day, so I doubt I’ll bother going to my 20th reunion either. I’ve kept in touch with everyone I really cared about in HS, so I don’t see much point. But I guess we’ll see in the next couple of years when the time rolls around.
Kris says:
Live it up, Big boy! 😉 I hope it’s a blast. I will be avoiding my 20 reunion like the plague. I have better hair, and a smaller waist (even after birthing 4 kids!) and the most rediculously amazing husband, but my high school memories are less than fond, and really, life is too good now for me to go back and experience that misery again. Even if just for a couple of hours.
Party on, dude. 😉
Jenny says:
This summer would be my 15-year reunion, but as far as I know we aren’t having one. I think Facebook may have made the reunion unnecessary.
I did attend my 10 year reunion and it was awkward and not as fun as I was expecting. Perhaps it was the surfacy conversation and knowing that everyone was looking around to see how others “turned out.” I loved high school, but the reunion made it clear that I would never want to go back!
Have fun this weekend!
JD says:
Considering I didn’t realize this was the 20th reunion year until I read this post, stopped and did the basic math… It’s not something I plan on attending. How do you even get an invite or notification of these things anyway!?!
High school was brutal. I moved out on my own after tenth grade, barely held it together enough to graduate. Never looked back — wouln’t want to turn into a pillar of salt, too many similarities!
My hair has gone completely curly since high school. Really odd but an oddity I quite like.
My waist has helped carry three children into this world — totally worth the changes. 🙂
As for the husband, he opted out on the 20th anniversary — of my high school grad, or of our marriage.
Sounds like yours will be fun, though — enjoy!
Nester says:
oh my word, we graduated the same year and my boyfriend had an RX-7 and I had bangs like a sausage. Clearly we were both equally…cool?
Tsh @ Simple Mom says:
I had bangs like a cabbage, Nester friend.
Tsh @ Simple Mom says:
Sorry, I meant cauliflower. A big puffball in front, stick straight hair in the back.
Reb says:
15 years this year. Apparently I missed the 10 year, cuz’ I probably wasn’t cool enough to be informed. Or maybe cuz’ I intentionally am a hard person to locate?
Anyways, my best friend always said she would never attend a high school reunion and I since that is the only way I can figure out to locate her (can’t find her on facebook, nor all my other feeble attemtps to locate her) I don’t know that I would want to go either. I was not exactly the most sought after individual.
Kevin says:
Cool Shaun, I’m looking forward to reading about your 20th HS reunion. I’m a fellow HS saxophone player and “soft rock” fan. My wife and I met in HS and our 20th was in 2009 which we skipped since my wife cancelled her facebook page after HS guys were trying to “connect” with her. Your list is funny, my hair and waste are certainly not better than my mullet and skinny jeans from 1989, and boy do I miss my stack of cassette tapes.
I’m doing great on the 3rd criteria as my wife and I are approaching our 18th wedding anniversary and have 3 beautiful daughters. God is so gracious! Blessings, Kevin
Beth says:
Shaun, you graduated from HS the same year I gave birth to my second (of 4) children. I “graduated” from HS in 1881; maybe the year you started kindergarten? I didn’t actually graduate from my high school. I hated it so much, and was so bored, I got my GED and went on to college. I had hair, and a waist, but no hot spouse yet. He came in 1987 and I had to join the Air Force to find him; but it was well worth it! We will celebrate 25 years of marriage this December. I still have my hair and my waist (and it’s still very noticeable) and spouse who doesn’t have much of his hair left. He attributes that to 4 children, lots of deployments, and “working with idiots”all day. I didn’t attend any of my high school or college reunions. No desire; but I sure would like to ride in an RX-7 again!
Jeb Portman says:
Ha! I’m bald, fat, and divorced. That’s a big zero on the hair-waist-and-wife scale. Still, I’m going to my 20th if only because I haven’t stepped foot in that town in two decades.
krisyoursis says:
Just cleaning house today, and the thought popped into my head that some of the most personally-stressful-and-blogged-about times in the life of theshaungroves seem to happen in July. Hope none of that is going on this year, but praying for you nonetheless! Blessings to you, your awesome wife, and the little Groves people!
Tsh @ Simple Mom says:
My dad had an RX-7 when I was growing up, and he’d purposely turn up the volume on The Who’s classic “Won’t Get Fooled Again” when Keith Moon screams… right in front of my junior high. I’m not kidding. I thought I would die.
So that’s my experience with an RX-7.
I graduated in ’95, which means my 20th is in a few years, and this totally weirds me out because I went to my dad’s 20th with him. I cannot be as old as he was then because he was, well, OLD.
Joyce says:
my husband is four years younger than me too! what a fun post!
Southern Gal says:
Fun stuff. I graduated early in 1980 so I could marry my high school sweetheart. It will be 32 years in October. Wow. We live in the same small town and never attend reunions. Can’t take the scrutinizing. 😉
Mamabearjd says:
This was funny…and you made the Internet seem small because I have my 20 this year down the road in Palestine! We always drove to Tyler to shop or go to the movies.
Laura says:
Class of 1990 (that made year cheers for our grade sound awkward – those are always made for three-syllable years). We have had exactly two reunions thus far, both of which I’ve missed due to reasons I doubt anyone from my rural, small school would believe. Twenty years was celebrated months after we moved to East Africa. Thirteen (why it was 13 I’ll never know) caught me hiking through the Grand Canyon. My life is generally not that exciting. I look forward to being able to reminisce with old friends while I still have hair, a waist and my great husband. 🙂
Tricia says:
I graduated in 1995 and went to my 5 year reunion…the only one I’ve attended so far since I know live 1,400+ miles from my home town. I do remember that it was at the clubhouse of a RV park. Very classy.
I laughed when I saw you had Jars of Clay hair…I think I saw you perform in Atlanta with Jars of Clay and Jennifer Knapp once back in 2001 or 2002. Great, great show!