The first kiss, filled with stomach-knotting passion and newness, was shockingly good. But now, hundreds of kisses later? On the same lips? In the same arms? There’s no retrieving and reliving new.
But in place of new is something else at the heart of the relationship, something she must remind herself is better when discontent whispers — better than teenaged toe curls and warm fuzzies: An indescribable depth of connection. Passion and good grown…and still growing.
Experiencing poverty for the first time, and feeling that we’ve been of some assistance to the poor, is shocking and beautiful. And as he does with all thing virtuous, our Enemy tries his best to turn even this into vice.
Some of us become poverty junkies after our first exposure. Our pornography made of mud huts, bare feet, bloated bellies, warm anger at those with too much, contributions for those with too little.
We bed hop from cause to cause, organization to organization, campaign to campaign.
Truth be told, we are doing our best to retrieve and relive the high/low of that first trip.
It is no longer mercy in view that moves us to sacrifice and service but the desperate need to feel shocked and sad and useful to greater and greater degrees…in hopes of feeling what we felt the first time. Fearful that feeling anything less would make us less.
Or…
We accept that the first time is the last time poverty will curl our souls like that. Exactly like that. And after this acceptance, we find that pity slowly evolves into true compassion – a love that suffers with. And this love continues to work in us, on us, heart and head, at deeper and deeper levels.
Our experiences among the poor and on behalf of them will not touch the same set of virgin nerves ever again, but different and deeper ones. The head joins the heart in engagement perhaps. Theologies are changing. Allegiances are shifting. Budgets are slowly evolving. Gratitude is building. Love is thrumming. Interests widening. Knowledge and wisdom building. Compassion is growing. Maturing.
The least of these are not a schoolgirl crush anymore, but the Jesus in them connects more deeply with the Jesus in us over the years and the miles. “They” becomes “us”. And we become one. Family. No longer using one another to revive old emotions or prove our sensitivity.
There is no reliving the first kiss. But what we have instead is far deeper…and better. For us all.
Jason says:
Praise God for the work He’s done through you, Shaun.
Shaun Groves says:
Jason, Thank you for always praising God and never me.
Dave says:
That first face-to-face introduction to true poverty, to true need, can be life altering.
I remember flying back to the states after our first trip and being overwhelmed by how much the Interstate highway reminded me of Disney World. The grass in the median was cut, there was no trash, and there were no beggars trying to sell sandwiches or pet birds beside the road. Perfect cars flew down perfectly paved roads with perfectly painted striping.
It gave me the gift of seeing things differently. I saw people differently. I saw my life differently. For the first time I understood the need for hope, both for those who have nothing but, and for those who are so numbed by excess that they don’t realize their need for it.
What an awesome privilege to be able to point people to the source of hope, where ever they live.
Jessica says:
No words.
Just silent appreciation.
Liz Reeves says:
Pretty much my exact thoughts, Jessica. Just beautiful.
Kelly @ Love Well says:
So much wisdom, Shaun. God’s truth has sifted down into the very marrow of your soul, it seems. I resonate with this. Every Compassion trip, as I read and pray, I am scoured. But I also sense a strange strength building, a joyful determination. This is God’s work. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to see Him move and join in the song.
Christine says:
I am left with more and more desire to spread the word, because so many in the church don’t know abject poverty, or that we are saved to be the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth–not just to enjoy eternity with Him.
I became a Christian at age 31, and it was age 43 before my eyes were opened, and only then because it coincided with my husband being underemployed, so the lessons hit really hard. I don’t know if they would have hit the same, if we weren’t struggling ourselves. We know some of the feelings, some of the lies of poverty, on a smaller scale.
Yet, I can’t spread the word if hearts aren’t open to the truth. And how do we open them, without offending? Many people won’t even read a post about poverty, and the more we write about it, the more people stop reading, period.
But, I still write, because I can’t not write.
I read through the Compassion blog that great gains have been made in lessening abject poverty, and that is so encouraging.
I am sorry for sometimes praising you. I do realize that it is only God working though you.
Katie Axelson says:
I could write a similar post having seen third world poverty on multiple trips. Each time the shock value dimishes a little but the broken heart remains just as prominent. With every trip, I realize more and more that these aren’t just people on the other side of the world… they’re my brothers and sisters living right next door.
Katie
Denise says:
Beautifully stated Shaun… may we all be motivated by genuine compassion rather than “shock and awe,” seeing people as beloved children of God rather than another notch in our belt of experience.
Kelli says:
I feel like your writing gets more beautiful and profound with each trip. I can very much sense a deepening of your passion that goes beyond the shock of a first trip. That’s why I really enjoyed the posts from this last trip, because I knew they had all seen poverty face to face before so their words were different this time – a little deeper and more raw. I can’t get some of the stories out of my head.
Lindley says:
Shaun–
Because of the Lord working in my heart through your trip to Ecuador last week, my family is now sponsoring a little boy there! I am beyond excited to begin a relationship with him and to see how the the Lord is working in it! Thank you to you and your friends who journeyed along with you and shared with all of us the need in Ecuador!
Jen Guarino says:
Damp eyes and a ever softening heart. I love how God uses bloggers to teach and reach. Thank you.
Kris says:
Thank you Shaun for being obedient, by His Strength, For His glory…
Becky says:
This applies to any area of service as well… epiphanies about the daily grind don’t last either. It’s a beautiful moment to realize that doing the dishes is washing my family’s feet. It’s a deeper, more lasting, solid moment to choose, months after that first realization, to do it again. And again.
Teena says:
Thank you, Shaun. God is great. He is using you…
deep words.
grace~
NancyTyler says:
I think I just read a new favorite piece of Shaun Groves writing.
I love watching God paint the truth through you, friend.
Thomas says:
I agree with you, Nancy, it is one of my favorite writings by Shaun.
And on a side note. Nice new picture, Nancy.
Steve Jones says:
Well said, brother.
Angela says:
Great words and so true. I’ve been to Africa 3 times and on my last trip, I was able to deal with looking at the poverty all around me without falling apart. The relationships are so much deeper and they are no longer poor people…they are my friends, and I miss them and can’t wait to see them again. Most of all, I can’t wait to see what God is going to do in each of the lives of the children that we’re working with.
P.S. I (the very nervous flyer) sat next to you on a flight to Detroit last month; thank you for allowing me to chat. The chatting…it helps the nerves ๐
Aimee says:
Beautiful! This post resonated much with me. Thank you for putting into words what I’ve been feeling since coming back from the Philippines. Our whole family went to visit our Compassion sponsor child this past summer. Came back changed… living out this *new normal* and daily fighting the comfortable… some days are hard.
Thomas says:
I’m lost for words. All I can think of is Thank you, Shaun, for sharing with us what God puts on your heart.
Rose-Marie says:
It is a blessing to share the heart of God with people. There are so many ways to make a difference and I pray God blesses the work of compassion while the workers at compassion bless God. amazing
ForeBarca says:
Shaun, greetings to you!
I want to get to the point. I find myself questioning your need to care for the fatherless of the world when the United States’ cities are populated with fatherless boys and girls. Take the city of Long Beach, California- 60% of households in the city are headed by single mothers. Only recently have many churches started to address the issue of fatherlessness. Even so, at least one church in Long Beach is spending $5,000 per person to go to India for two weeks. But the same $5000 would materially help the single motffhers and fatherless children in Long Beach, especially in this tattered economy and especially in a city filled with Central American immigrants. So why are we going abroad when there is such manifest need stateside?
Shaun Groves says:
ForeBarca, the assumption behind your question is that I have made a choice between America and the rest of the world. I have not. I’ve had the privilege of serving both.
ForeBarca says:
Both the Old Testament and New Testament mandate that any community must take care of its own before it takes care of the outside. So, the Old Testament prevented usury between the Jewish people and mandated better treatment of Jewish slaves by their Jewish masters. Furthermore, Jesus came first to the Jews then to the Gentiles. Moreover, Paul himself exhorted the local churches to take care of the widows and orphans within the church as a priority before the material needs of the outsiders were addressed. Why are we not doing the same? Why cannot we love our neighbors first?
ForeBarca says:
Why is it the Black African and Brown Indian always the object of Christian compassion? Why not the Americans who happen to be poor and White and Brown and Black?
Angie says:
So beautiful and honestly spoken.
Thank you Friend.
For opening my eyes, challenging me and letting God use you.
Tsh @ Simple Mom says:
You’ve put into words things I’ve felt for years now. I think this is exactly right. Well, well said.
It’s a strange road to walk, the one where you’ve seen a lot in life. Humbling to be the recipient of so much.
Sarah says:
Well said, Shaun.
Joy says:
I’m with Tsh, you put into words what many of us who have seen much feel.
Coming to that deeper place is a truly God-given experience, and I am thankful to the Lord that it is the new norm, never to be separated from from who He has made me to be…..ever again.
Joseph A Machado says:
Shaun,
God’s work begins locally and expands to fill the need. The “third world” exists everywhere. God has given you a global view of the need to defeat poverty and the mission to share it with those who need to hear and understand. Thanks for using your talent and energy for His purpose…and thanks for your Third World Symphony.