Shaun Groves
You don’t have to have ovaries to be a mom blogger. It’s a choice.
When I started blogging back in 2005 I was a theological blogger – once or twice a political blogger. I ranted in lists and bullet points and stats and stock images.
That lasted about two weeks, if memory serves me right. And then, well, I slowly chose to be a mom blogger. I didn’t start posting recipes, launch an Etsy shop, or write a recap of every Bachelorette episode. I just decided – little by little – to be a real human being: to tell stories, to show emotion, post pictures from my own camera, to share myself and not just my thoughts.
Because God gave me a head and a heart. The heart is something too many men leave behind when they sit down to blog. And so we readers find ourselves knowing their theology or politics or “leadership” and marketing advice but not them.
They are nothing but words on our screens – decidedly sadly not-human. It’s our humanity which builds trust – trust a blogger can then spend, if they choose, on behalf of music, children in poverty, books worth reading, and on and on.
Trust is currency earned only by those willing to be heart-and-head humans.
I’m headed to the Relevant Conference – a place jam packed with real human beings who’ve taught me much. All of them mom bloggers. (Watch a live stream of the conference here.)
I’m speaking there about how to blog well for a good cause. And I’ll sing a bit too. But mostly I’m looking forward to (side) hugging and laughing with a lot of women who’ve taught me how to be a better human being on-line…and off. See you soon, Ann, Tsh, Lisa-Jo, Kristen and many many more.
While I travel…
Tell me: What’s the last thing you learned about blogging that made you better?
Amy says:
That it’s not a competition. We all have something to add to this story that we call life.
Shaun Groves says:
So how do you stop making it a competition? Any practical steps you take?
Amy says:
Honestly, I am still working on it. I need to learn to be more supportive of some bloggers and not take offense where none is intended. Right now, I have had to remove myself from some blogging communities, until I have it worked out.
Jessica says:
That us humans are more alike than a lot of us usually realize.
And that sharing the imperfections in life bonds people like love glue.
Jessica says:
Also, insert pout here about not being at Relevant.
Can you just pin a picture of me to your shirt and then take a bunch of pictures of you side hugging various bloggers? Or make one of those little Popsicle stick people with my head on it?
Shaun Groves says:
btw, I think “love glue” is what you should name your band…if you ever start one.
Jessica says:
In hindsight, the potential secular innuendos would be unfortunate, though.
MainlineMom aka Sarah says:
I’m so glad you’re a mom blogger 🙂 I couldn’t stand blogging with only my head. The few times I posted on politics the ensuing discussion hurt my head.
Kelly says:
Thank you for this. As a big reader and one who loves theology, I love academics- but as a mom who stays at home with her kids, I can’t really find a home among those types of people. Then on the other side- I hate cooking and have no desire to share recipes and decorating tips with other moms. I often feel displaced wherever I am. But I can be human- even if that means I sound like a big dork, which is usually the case. So be it. 🙂
Angie says:
Kelly, you and I are in the same club!! And Shaun, you bring humor, too. Head-heart-humor.
Becky says:
I’m with you, Kelly and Angie. I love theology, I love to read, I love to write, I hate cooking and decorating, and it’s hard for me to define what my blog is about. Being human and being relatable… that’s something I can do. Thank you.
Beth says:
I too love theology and reading and I love to write although I don’t currently have a blog. I like to cook if someone else cleans and I have an “occasion” to do so. Being human and relating to others is something I do (although not well all the time), so I guess that makes me a member of the club.
Jen~Beautiful Mess says:
Thankful for your story!
Kelli says:
That God delights when I surrender my words to Him. I’ve resisted sharing my heart in the past, afraid of what people would think or of offending or of just saying something wrong.
Then God turned everything upside down both inside and around me and in the tumble something shifted. It’s not about me. It’s about Him. And when I surrender and just let Him speak, I feel His delight.
Just thinking about it brings hot tears. Who is He that He would delight in me?
Jen Guarino says:
Have a great time at Relevant. You and your blogging friends, like Lisa-Jo, Ann and others have stretched me so far in my faith, I am so thankful you were willing to be a mom blogger.
Mandy says:
I just started posting recipes – and photos. Mostly, I just write about what God is teaching me.
The last thing I learned about blogging is that I can grow and learn through the writing (and rereading) experience even if no one ever reads my blog. God meets me there and that’s enough.
No. 17 says:
That it’s not all about me.
Which drastically changes how I write (in a very good way).
Kelly @ Love Well says:
I almost wonder if we don’t need a new term. It’s true that moms often blog in the manner you so elegantly described. But really, it’s just LIFE. I’ve started telling people I blog my life, not just the mommy-and-me moments. In fact, these days, I rarely write about my kids.
I just want to tell stories. And good stories stick. That’s what I’ve learned from (mom) blogs.
Shelley says:
you did post pictures of the cakes you decorated! that was great!
Sharon says:
Learning that it’s enough if one person is encouraged by my feeble words. Yay for comments and more readers, but it’s well worth the bit of work to reach out to one other person. Hard to remember, but I’m hanging onto this truth.
I love the photos in this post — using your own photos brings a connection that stock photos won’t convey. Thanks for your [Mom] blog!
Mollianne says:
I have learned that I am drawn to blogs and bloggers who are real, who live out their faith and who make me think. Making me laugh isn’t a bad thing, either. I’m launching my own blog soon, and I pray that anyone who reads will either pause to consider something they haven’t thought of or have a belly laugh and close the page with a smile.
Becky says:
Just last night, I was comparing myself to other writers and photographers and feeling inadequate.
I asked my husband, “Should I keep writing?”
He replied, “Yes.”
“About what?”
“The Way, the Truth, the Life.”
Yes. Amen and amen.
sara varghese says:
I’ve just learned…maybe the hard way, though, I’m still not the best blogger, when I spout off about all my opinions about EVERYTHING, I’m not engaging anyone. I’m blogging to myself, and that might well be a pretty tight circle, I probably need to broaden my range a little to encourage others.
Still working out the purpose of my blog…. I’ve been working on that for a long time. I go from feeling I have absolutely nothing to say or impart, to feeling I have TONS to say, and still not that much to impart. I wish it wasn’t so roller coaster-ish.
Dave says:
As a relative newcomer to blogging and another non-ovarian, I’ve learned a couple of things over the last few months…
We each write from our own heart and perspective, knowing our history and the particulars of each situation, but sometimes the stories we tell can be misinterpreted without that background. Not everyone has followed us from blog post #1, and in isolation some of our lighthearted tales or casual asides can come across as something altogether different to certain people.
It’s easy to forget that not everyone reading our verbal meanderings will appreciate our humor, or our parenting technique, or our take on how God acted. It can tough to read comments from them…folks who are angry, or hurt, or for whom our post dredged up pain.
We write from our hearts and our words are a reflection of who we are. It would be nice if everyone loved our words the way we do, but the reality is that some won’t. I’ve learned that that’s just part of putting yourself out there for everyone to see, but it’s also made me try to read my posts through fresh eyes before I publish them.
I’ve also learned that getting comments from people who have been entertained, encouraged, or inspired is AWESOME! They’re the ones who bring me back to the keyboard to write another post.
Rebecca says:
So glad you write both a head and heart blog.
God has blessed me so very much through our blog. The connections and the place to be creative is such a gift.
Would love to go Relevant!
whimzie says:
I never realized until today that you are one of my favorite mom bloggers!
What’s the last thing I learned about blogging that has made me better? That I am not my blog’s stats. That the community I’ve made through my blog is worthy of my best effort, no matter how big or small that community is (It’s definitely been bigger, but it’s also been smaller). That I have something to say and it’s okay for me to say it. And that as wonderful as the discipline of writing and my blog community is, neither is a substitute for community with people I can hug (or side hug).
Wow. I’ve been learning a lot!
Melissa Jones says:
What I’ve learned about blogging that has made me better?
I don’t _want_ to be famous. When my in-laws started bugging me for more blog posts, I realized that I didn’t want that pressure – from anyone. Blogging was a great way to communicate with a lot of people when I was overseas, and it was a good way to make the transition between working full-time and being home full-time with our firstborn….but by the time our second came along, I was too busy LIVING life to write about it.
Teena says:
Oh how I wish I was at Revelant with all of you! I would love to side hug YOU, ANN, KRISTEN, LISA JO, and so many more…
I think I have learned to be MORE real. not just fluff. 🙂 Even if I get no comments…. just real.
grace~
Jason says:
You rock, dude. The fact you’re there to pour into all of those other bloggers just reinforces that fact. 🙂
Sharon O says:
Someday I will go to relevant too.
We have talked about making it a 40th anniversary trip do relevant for a few days then vacation in the area as we site see all the wonderful fall foilage and area. We are from Oregon and it will be a trip to save up for, soon it will be our 38th anniversary.
Praying for relevant speakers and those who attend I am glad you are going.
Mike McArthur says:
Hi Shaun,
It is not really very recent, but I think what has had the biggest impact on my blogging style and made it much better is Ann’s comment from last year’s Relevant conference that people want to hear my messy stories, not my theology or sermons.
Like you I started blogging by writing abut what I thought was good theology and didn’t use any pictures. When I read some of those early posts even I find them boring!
Now I write about messy faith in daily life and my heart’s ache for the people of Burma. I still mostly use stock images, my life isn’t particularly photogenic. Maybe that’s something I should work on.
It would be great if there were more non-ovarian Mom bloggers (or Mum bloggers if you speak with a Kiwi accent!). There are a lot of guys blogging that I’d like to know what they are REALLY like.
nancy says:
Thanks so much for daring to enter the arena of estrogen and giving us much to chew on.
Linda Mabe says:
I am learning that even the youngest children can blog for a cause 🙂 When the earthquake happened in Haiti, I wrote a song about it ( I am a singer/songwriter for a local Christian band/ministry). Since then, I have recorded a 5 song demo and am about to lauch it to the public with proceeds from each sale going to benefit the people of Haiti through 2 organizations that I am connected with. So here is where it gets interesting. My daughter started making bookmarks….bookmarks and said that she wanted to sale them for $1 and all the money would go to Haiti. She begged me to start a blog and about a week ago we launched it to a few friends. So far she has raised about $50 and is SO excited to give. As a homeschooling mom, I am thankful that God is using me (as selfish as I am) to teach her to give. He is GOOD!
Rhoda says:
I loved your song that that was on Ann’s blog recently. The thing I have learned in the last few weeks about how to blog better is that I need space. Just a bit of extra time in between all the many things I have to do, so that I can reflect and think and pray. Then my blog posts come more from my heart.
mich pendergrass says:
Love your heart–and your funny bone. One day, I’d like to listen in on a jam session with you and Mr. Snyder. (It doesn’t take much to amuse me)
Rachel Wojnarowski says:
Thanks for blessing us at Relevant! I agree that there was an awful lot of beef there… 😉 and that your wife must be one in a million. Did you say that? I don’t remember, but she has to be. 🙂 Thanks again!!
Kris says:
Shaun,
It was AWESOME meeting you and hearing you play, and sing, and speak *right* in front of me. God has gifted you and you bless us all by using those gifts for the body. Thank you! It was really special. You said some super helpful things during the social justice session and I am still working it all out in my head. I am full up from God’s goodness this weekend at Relevant. Thanks for being a part of that.
Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect says:
Since I haven’t even begun to process all that I learned last weekend at Relevant, I can’t answer your question. But I wanted to say that it was great to meet and (side) hug you on Saturday! Even if I cried like a big baby. *sigh*