We gathered around a dinner table tonight to reflect, laugh, cry – before boarding a plane bound for America in the morning. And Patricia asked the bloggers what their high and low points have been this week in the Philippines.
And mine were easy to recall. They both happened nine and a half hours ago. Give or take a few minutes.
I made a fool of myself playing games with the kids of Compassion child development center PH210. My team won, by the way.
I learned new names and new words. Or tried too. And the kids cackled when I got them wrong.
Every child in this project poured energy into my sleepy frame. Joy. The unspeakable kind. The kind that gets stuck behind the voice box and comes pouring out through eyes and holding hands and running and giggles. It flowed from every child into me. So tired. Resurrection joy.
There was Jericho. He didn’t say his name. He chanted it. What’s your name? Jer-i-cho!
We began our day at the end of our collective rope. Exhausted. Some discouraged. But just a few hours later there I was scanning the churchyard watching blogger after blogger enthralled with kid life, sweating, smiling, blowing balloons, throwing frisbees, sitting and talking with new friends. Revived. Happy. Full.
And I was too. To the brim.
At that moment that child development center may have been the happiest place on earth. And I was honored, amazed to just be there.
Then I saw them.
One.
Then two. Then a whole crowd. On the other side of the fence.
I don’t know if it was just plain old corrupted me or some dark power creeping up unseen, but something pulled the drain plug and out ran all my new happiness. In an instant it was gone. And in the empty echoed a voice – a convincing voice. My voice?
You’ll never save them all.
All those miles traveled. Words spoken from stages. Pleas written in pixels. Thousands sponsored over the last six years. Insignificant.
You’ll never save them all.
All I could do was pray. That one word prayer that comes from our lips without thinking – just before the other guy’s car collides with ours, just after the doctor reads the test results, in foxholes. I felt like I was in a foxhole.
Jesus
And my mind flooded with memories. With you.
The young woman who was promised a car on her sixteenth birthday but told her mother she’d rather give the money to Compassion and bum rides from friends instead.
A public school teacher who sees sponsoring children as a way to teach her fifth graders about life in other countries and generosity.
The college baseball team who decided to sponsor a little boy together.
A retired realtor in Michigan who buried her head in my chest and wept – sponsorship giving her the gift of new purpose after years of feeling used up.
The couple whose sponsorship of a child from Guatemala stirred in them such love for the children there that they adopted two.
My mother, who seems to sponsor a child every time she comes to one of my concerts – never having enough grandkids. She’s running out of room for pictures on her refrigerator.
I thought of these sponsors – of so many of you – and gave thanks. Filling again. Gratitude rippling. Hope rising.
Without you how many more faces would look through that fence at me? How many more hands would grip its wires?
We’ll never lift every child over the fence. Heartbreakingly true.
Ken Summerlin says:
Neither you nor I have to save them all. We just have to save the ones that God has resourced us to save. And the good news is that if all of us will do that, all of them will be saved.
Amy says:
Hopefully when we save one, it creates the domino effect. ๐
Angie says:
One at a time,Friend. One at a time.
Cheri says:
Heartbreakingly beautiful…..thanks for taking me along on the roller coaster ride with you as that is what I felt like reading this post. Working together with all of you to save a few more!
Michelle ~ Blogging from the Boonies says:
Like the old story about the man saving starfish, we can ALL save one. Most of us can even save 2 or 3. I’m inspired by the man who has reached out to 44 children. Yes, 44. My hero.
And as we sponsor these children, more can be brought into the program.
Praying for you all as you come back home.
Kristy K says:
My heart sank when I saw the kids on the other side of the fence. ๐
These trips are so impactful. Thank you.
Tj says:
Your words, ‘Weโll never lift every child over the fence,’ is what sometimes makes me feel like giving up and just eating and drinking and being merry. Isn’t that terrible? “Oh Lord, for more faith in you, and less in myself”
Karen says:
Andy Stanley said in a sermon “Do for ONE what you WISH you could do for all!”
Megan @ Faith Like Mustard says:
Yes! Amen!!
michelle says:
This is good stuff. I tweeted something out earlier that didn’t come off the way I meant it, so I’m adding a comment here. When you look at the big picture, it’s overwhelming. But when you search and see there are 3 young Filipino women over 15 waiting for sponsors, it seems totally doable. Thanks for everything you do.
Katie Axelson says:
This is such a beautiful post! And having been on mission trips, I understand exactly how fast you can flucuate between “full” and “empty.”
Katie
Sarah says:
Reminds me all to well of a similar experience I had in Kenya. Thanks for reminding us we can’t get to them all but we can get to one more. Thank you for your great work and beautiful challenges to us all.
Steve Jones says:
Heavy, heavy truth. Not an easy one to get our brain or our heart around.
Christine says:
You are a good and faithful servant, Shaun. You change hearts with the beauty of yours–Jesus speaks through you, loud and clear. More fruit will come, brother. Amazing things have happened since you started these trips just a short time ago.
Because you allow yourself to weep for those still over the fence…because you open your heart to the pain…because you paint word pictures of the joy, change is afoot.
Shauna says:
Amen.
Brian says:
Thanks so much for sharing, these photos are great! I appreciate the work you’re doing and how you encourage others to love these precious little ones. God bless!
Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama says:
Oh Shaun. Yes. I know that feeling.
Laura says:
Thank you for your words. They speak volumes.
JD says:
If the fence can’t hold Jesus back from lifting them over poverty one by one, it shouldn’t hold us back either, because He IS our strength, our hope, our provision, our savior, and He provides everything we need to be His hands and feet.
Adding one more to our Compassion family this month.
Michelle ~ Blogging from the Boonies says:
JD, I just love you. You’re one more amazing woman I have come to know through this crazy blog-o-sphere. One who inspires me on a regular basis. I just love you to pieces. What a heart! <3
Brad says:
Shaun, has anyone ever figured out how many? How many children are waiting and in need? How many would have to be sponsored for there to be no more need? I’d like to know. I’d like to have that number as a goal. I love it when someone says something can’t be done…and then doing it.
Cindy says:
God Bless you and your work. Amen to your blog.
JessicaB says:
I don’t say a lot on these trips. I read. But I don’t say a lot. Because I have a hard time expressing myself outside the realm of joking. And there’s just not a lot funny about children living in poverty.
But I read. And retweet. And post. (And cry) <3
Kim says:
One of the most beautiful posts I’ve read from the trip… what would we be willing to give up/sacrifice to get all of these kids over on this side of the fence!
Compassion makes a difference… and its name means just that- showing God’s loving compassion to a world/child that needs it. We have the ability to give for a reason: Proverbs 3:27.
[email protected] says:
You painted this picture so well for us. This sinking feeling of all the rest of them, of the biggness of poverty and the smallness of our efforts.
It is both overwhelming and discouraging.
Yes, the children on the other side of the fence, just as “worthy” to have been playing rope games and laughing with you all, but who haven’t been chosen yet. What a brutal, realistic image.
Thanks for sharing it with us.
Praying for you all as you travel home.
barbara r says:
โIf you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.โ -Mother Teresa
Jill Foley says:
This is beautiful. I’ve been telling myself for years, “one at a time, one at a time.” This goes for the kids our family sponsors as well as the kids who get sponsored because of my advocacy.
One at a time.
I actually came here to thank your for these trips. Not only are we able to “tag along” and learn about Compassion’s ministry at a deeper lever, you have had great wisdom in choosing bloggers. You have chosen people who do not regularly write about Compassion and because of that, the audience is so much more teachable. I love reading through the comments and seeing how people are learning about Compassion’s ministry as a result of these trips.
Thank you. I hope and pray there are many trips yet to come.
Jenny says:
So get this.
But thank God for the one who is saved who then goes and helps and saves another… and that person another… and that person…
Stephanie says:
Your post reminded me of the famous and profound quote by Mother Teresa – “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”