“Oh, gosh,” he answered, “I guess probably eighty-five to ninety percent buy smart phones. Almost nobody needs one but,” Brent the Verizon salesman said, “nobody trades in their smart phone. I’ve never seen it.”
Two years ago I had an idea for for a fundraiser so massive my boss demanded I get a smart phone before he would even let me attempt it. “Only if you get a big boy phone,” he said. And I did. And he was right. I received more than 100 e-mails an hour at one point! And many more texts. There’s no way I could have lead that project without that phone.
But after the fundraiser? The smart phone was totally unnecessary. But I kept it. I liked being so connected. And I hated being so connected.
Tech evangelists are constantly telling us technology allows an unprecedented number of connections to others and information. And this, we’re told, is unquestionably good.
But there’s more to the story. Sherry Turkle, in Alone Together, dares to tell it, and backs it with decades of data and scores of interviews. The full negative impact of technology on individuals and society is too great to cover in this little blog post. (Get the book.) But one example?
The people in our lives – especially our children – feel that they are in competition with our technology. Turkle says kids have grown up disconnected from parents who pushed them on a swing while texting, spoke to them while staring at a laptop, thumbed their Blackberry while “watching” soccer practice, read blogs and posted to Facebook instead of doing any number of things with them. Technology-wielding multitasking parents have left their children feeling like a task.
These kids are now teens and twenty-somethings seeking connection through technology and being inflicted with more psychological, intellectual and relational illnesses and retardations in the process. As my ten year-old remarked after walking away from playing a card game with a texting thirteen year-old, “I’m all by myself when I’m with her.”
Yes, televisions and home phones were competition for real life relationship too, but when we were away from home we got a break from the competition. With mobile devices there is no break.
Tech has not harmed us. Turkle never makes that claim and neither do I. Our use of it has harmed us. Not can. It has. Turkle has convinced me of that.
We lack the forethought to see how our use of technology impacts our health and the health of those around us – how our use of technology makes it nearly impossible to love God and love people as we ought – starting with those in our immediate proximity. To put it bluntly, we’re too dumb for smart phones.
I am.
For the last two years I’ve wasted time most days “checking” this site or that on my “big boy phone.” I feel lowgrade anxiety when it’s on – that odd sense that I need to touch it, use it, do something. And I feel lowgrade anxiety when it’s off – this feeling that I’m missing something, that I may be needed, that I may disappoint whoever needs me, that I’ll be punished somehow for not responding immediately. I’m too dumb for a smart phone.
So today I asked Brent to sell me the dumbest phone in the store. It was free with a contract extension. It feels like Legos. It doesn’t get e-mail. It’s painfully slow to text with. The ringtones are vintage. It does so little and is so unfun to do it on that, well, I’ll barely use it.
That’s just what I need.
Because I lack self-control. I waste time. I don’t love well. I’m dumb.
Amy D. says:
I don’t have a smart phone. I actually placed an order for one, had a panic attack and BEGGED them to cancel it. I also recently cancelled my facebook account. For all the ways I was connected, there were 100 ways I wasn’t. I wasn’t connecting with my kids and my husband, which was a huge factor. I wasn’t getting simple things done around the house. I hate that I am not connected in the way that mainstream Americans are, but I also know, between God and me, this is what I need.
Danielle says:
I can totally relate to this. I deactivated my Facebook account awhile back too…best thing I’ve ever done! 🙂
Kristen says:
My husband & I did the same thing this morning! The Sprint guy was in a place of shock and told us he “doesn’t often see this”.
Honestly, I already feel free!
JessicaB says:
I had a smart phone for awhile, and loved it. It was given to me by a friend. But when Husband and I decided to go no-contract, I had to downgrade to something just for texting with. It was painful, for about a week. But then I got over it.
Sometimes I wish I were more connected like the “cool” christians. But, meh. For us, it was mostly a numbers game. We couldn’t justify the expense of the bills. So we went with the cheapest way to stay reachable we could find.
Danielle says:
I still have a dumb phone too! My husband keeps trying to convince me to get a smart phone, and instead of explaining why I don’t want one, I might just send him to your blog to read this post. 🙂
Megan at SortaCrunchy says:
PREACH!
I’m one of the few (it feels like) remaining hold-outs still using a dumb phone. No email? Check. Painfully slow texting? Check. Complete freedom from over-connectivity? CHECK.
There’s a clarity that comes with ownership of a dumb phone, an ability to really see how isolating it can be to be surrounded by smart phones. From friends texting others in my living room while I’m trying to talk to them to seeing a couple sitting next to each other, waiting for a table at a restaurant, completely engrossed in their phones instead of each other . . . I feel a lot of sadness about it.
And I know I truly do NOT have the self-discipline or self-control to use one responsibly. I’m jealous and drool-y over the gadgets of others, but for now, I’m still gently resisting the pull.
kit says:
Great post– I’m going to share it with my husband who gets comments from our kids about being on his smartphone all the time (ironically, they call it a DUMB phone).
However, just because I use a very simple phone like you just got, I am no better than others because I am the person in front of the computer all day instead. Oops! In some ways, it’s probably even worse than the phone issue because it doesn’t move and therefore I don’t either.
Kristy K says:
Add me to the dumb phone list (actually, it’s both old and dumb… a new and dumb phone would be nice).
But also add me to the on-the-laptop-too-much list which is just as bad. 🙁 You hit a nerve when you mentioned that children start feeling like a task.
Katie says:
I was due for a phone upgrade two years ago and I still have not claimed it because I don’t want a smart phone (or a touch screen). My dad had a Blackberry he didn’t know how to use and just got an iPhone that does everything but call. I bet my mom has spent more time sitting in the kitchen playing Farmville than she does cooking.
I was just having a conversation about this with my campus minister last week. We were talking primarily about facebook and newsfeed and he said something I’ve never thought about before: We were never intended to know every detail about everyone elses’ lives. That’s for God to know and us to be intentional about finding out not right there for all to see.
Katie
Gigi says:
I love what your campus minister said, Katie!! Wow…that’s pretty much IT in a nutshell – isn’t it? Thank you for sharing!
Lindsee says:
Wow. That really stepped on my toes. In a really good way. I admire you for returning to a “boring” phone.
Patricia Jones says:
Ok…you challenged me today, in a good way.
Boring and dumb phones are cheaper to replace if you loose them by leaving them behind in airports:)
Dawn says:
My husband and I have never even owned cell phones. We travel a lot in the summer and my parents are getting worried about not being able to reach us as easily as they’d like. This may be the summer we break down and buy a phone…maybe.
Christine says:
I saw a video a few months ago and the guy said that every time we pull out the smart phone, even just to check it, it sends the message to those we’re with that what’s happening on the phone is more important than them. I think of that every time I make the move to reach for it.
FzxGkJssFrk says:
We live the dumb phone life. It was a bit of a pain when I was texting my wife from the basketball game the other night. But the cost of bball tickets makes that a self-regulating problem. I would be a total addict if I had one. As it is, I’m practically addicted to Facebook.
Tim says:
Amen and amen.
Tater Mama says:
I have an iPhone, but I have no idea how to make it do most of the “smart” things it can do. I’m kind of glad. It seems so strange to me when I see someone in, say, Walgreens, and they have their keys, a $20 bill, and their phone in hand. I just don’t understand being that addicted to a phone. (Moose Tracks ice cream, yes. A phone, no.)
Christy T. says:
Tim already said my response a I read this, but I’ll say it anyway:
Amen and amen.
Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home says:
Thank you for the affirmation! I was mulling over upgrading to an iPhone but could not justify the extra $40 a month it would cost. That is equivalent to sponsoring a child through Compassion International!! THAT really puts it into perspective.
Bridgett Slaughter says:
I’ve had an Iphone for a little over a year and I feel the same way. I just recently ordered a “dumb” phone and should be getting in in a day or two. When I first went to the store and talked to the salesman I thought he was going to stroke when I said I wantedd to downgrade. I’m hearing alot lately about people tired of being so connected. I think it is finally getting to everyone.
Janet Oberholtzer says:
Guess because I grew up strict traditional Mennonite (almost Amish) I LOVE my smart phone (and all of social media) and I have no desire to go back.
Yes, I need to balance it with the rest of life (doesn’t everything in life need to be done in moderation?) but I love the freedom and connections I have because of it.
Megan @ Faith Like Mustard says:
I’m with you. My smartphone doesn’t really cost much more than our old plan and I have no desire to go back. However, I don’t let it rule my life (half the time, it’s not even charged and I don’t know where it is). Quite honestly, there’s a number of things that could do that, not just smartphones.
I agree that technology has the ability to disconnect us, but for people like me–a person who lives miles from family and friends, a person who has lived in 7 different cities, a person who’s still trying to find a circle of friends in her latest residence–technology actually makes me feel MORE connected, not less.
All things in moderation…
Janet Oberholtzer says:
Megan, Your last line says it all.
Shaun … I hope you’ve found a solution that works for you. That’s the joy and the struggle of life … that we are all different and that we have to find what works for us and do that, rather than just doing what everyone else is doing.
But I will disagree with your assessment that you are dumb … from all the posts I’ve read, you are far from dumb 🙂
Ron says:
Well thanks a lot. I finally caved and bought an iphone last Friday and now you go and blog THIS. I’m un-adopting all of my Compassion Kids and I’m not running any more marathons to raise money for World Vision.
So there.
(Okay, I”m kidding about everything except having bought the iphone. But you are still a dawg.)
Sharon O says:
I have two phones exactly like the one in the picture. Two Brick style phones for heaven sakes what do I do with them?
Boog Ferrell says:
Gosh! You are right on. On one hand I’m amening and high-fiving you because I am that last line, and because I am that last line, I’m here (blogging) and convicted. Shout out (and sincere thanks for all your honesty) from a fellow dumb-phoner (flip to be exact with absolutely no smartness).
sara varghese says:
ohhhhh man, how much time did I waste? have I wasted? that could have been spent getting to know my son and the wonderful person that he is. Now sons! I don’t use a smart phone (I don’t think I do)? That’s REALLY how dumb I am. My computer is the evil task master. It’s been a lot better having it tucked away in the basement….but there are a still a few ties I need to cut.
dumb phone says:
I have a dumb phone with no data plan and no ability to receive or send texts. That has been a problem exactly twice in the 8 or so years that I’ve had a phone. Once when a friend sent a text to everybody in her phone to notify of a change in phone number and once when someone texted me an apology and I (obviously) missed it. But both of those situations worked themselves out in real time, face to face, within a few days of the missed texts.
We started the no texting thing years ago when we got our first phone bill and have stuck with it for all the reasons you listed.
Michelle ~ Blogging from the Boonies says:
Woohoo! We rock the $10 Tracfones and are coll with that! They make calls and text and between my husband and I we spend less than $20 a month on minutes for them.
It is win:win in my book. No thumb cramps, no desire to check things all of the time, no walking into street signs while Facebooking, and we save lots of money. (As we found out this month, for less than the price of most smart phones monthly contract, our Alice in Kenya was able to buy a ton of goodies including a mattress! $25 is all it took to give Alice some extras and the luxury of a soft place to sleep at night! Warms my heart!)
JessicaB says:
Like.
rebecca says:
and the other great thing about a dumb phone is they don’t break as easily when you drop them – which i do a lot!!!
thanks for the insightful post
misty says:
I have to admit…I really want an iPhone. I have wanted one for a while.
However, I just can’t convince myself that God will be okay with me paying $20- to $30- a month for the data package. Especially when I can sponsor another child through Compassion for $38-. In fact, when Verizon got the iPhone God specifically told me for the cost of that data package I could really make a difference in someone’s life. I just don’t really think that God would be pleased if I say “I can’t afford to sponsor another child or help here or there” but am willing to pay for the data package. I don’t think I can stand before God and make that justification.
Great post as always!
Karen says:
A problem for me too….much time wasted! Read a blog post last week (Holly Gerth, I think) and have commited to God to take a Cyber Sabbath every week. Mine will start at bedtime on Wednesday night and extend until Friday morning! I am hoping it grows……
Mindy says:
Wow…. this could not be more true…
Kevin says:
Brilliant post Shaun. I’ve had a ‘smart’ phone for a few years now and I long for the days of less connectivity. I’ve taken a stand against having tons of apps and make sure to turn it off when I’m with my 3 daughters. They deserve to have my full attention when we’re together. Thanks for your example of simplicity. I’m challenged to ‘dumb’ down more of my technology habits as well.
Alexia says:
I have a fairly smart phone with no extra plans so it’s technically a dumb phone. I decided when I got upgraded that I would not put any extras on it (including games or ringtones) since it was a waste of money that could be spend doing something useful. It’s been nice to only use my phone when it rings or I get a text (which is rarely).
The computer? Now that’s another story. And you know you’re using it too much when your 3-year-old says “I want you to LOOK at me!” *sigh* I need to spend less time on her and more time with my children.
nancytyler says:
A friend spent a half hour last night trying to convince me why she thought I needed an iPhone. After about the eighth “but I do that just fine on my computer now,” She got worn out. 🙂
Before I integrate a new piece of technology into my life, it has to be something that will genuinely improve my ability to minister to people, to help me be a better employee or to make need-to-do things significantly easier. And it has to be affordable.
My technology use and purchases have to get screened that way because I have significant focus, time wasting and anxiety issues that I’m constantly battling and too much tech makes all of that worse. Also, I’m not always comfortable spending money on myself.
It was a relief to figure out that having the latest tech toys won’t make me cool. Turns out I am completely incapable of being cool! I mean, I go to the Apple Store in my mall and begin to hyperventilate, there is so much hipness in that place. LOL I seriously need a nap or an ice cream cone to recuperate from the experience.
I’ve been called everything from a laggard to a luddite because I have a $29 cheapie mp3 player instead of an iPod, maintain less than 100 Facebook friends and don’t blog, prefer radio to my Pandora channels, like the smell of used books better than the idea of buying a Kindle, and don’t yet own a flat panel TV, an iPhone, TiVo, XBox or other popular tech goodies. I’m glad all those things are available for people to enjoy and I’m grateful for the things I get to do with technology at work, at home and in ministry. For my own survival though, I need to keep a cap on how involved I get and how much I own.
Lisa H says:
I love it! I’m still using my dumb phone and I don’t want it any other way! Even without the smartphone though, this was a convicting post. It is really easy to just check my email as I’m walking by the computer in the kitchen. Or look at facebook for ‘just a minute’. Or read just one more blog post. All while my kids are waiting…I’m going to go push my kids on the swings in the backyard! 🙂
Steve Jones says:
Are you blaming me for your last two years of neglecting your relationships for technology? 🙂
Shaun Groves says:
Yes, Steve. This post is all about you.
Matthew W says:
I felt the same way when I first gave up facebook and twitter for Lent. So worth it, but hard to do, too. (Of course, I say this as I’m posting from my smartphone.)
:-/
Kelli says:
I love your blog. It’s just so challenging! I must say I do love my my big girl phone but, like you mentioned, I hate the anxiety that comes with always feeling like I need to be connected. I wasn’t like that until I got the smartphone. I didn”t care if I missed a call or checked Facebook. I realized this about two months ago and have been making a concerted effort to not be so dependent on my technology. During the day I put my phone on airplane mode while I’m with the kids to lessen the temptation. That’s helped a little. I’m also realizing how good it feels to just leave my phone behind on occasion. Do I really need it at every moment of every day?
Those things have helped but I still have work to do in the area of self discipline and technology. This week we are on vacation and I’m taking a little lessen from you and plan on disconnecting with the world wide web for a bit and reconnecting with the three little ones who matter most. I couldn’t be more excited about it. This was a great challenge to me. Thanks!
RaD says:
Oh man! I don’t even own a cell phone for fear I’m gonna get sucked in. But I have to admit, my computer screams my name so much I am still very guilty of the things you covered in this little post.
Meredith Dunn says:
Join the Dumb Club. I am the president. You can be VP.
Elle says:
Thank you for this! I defacebooked myself recently and couldn’t really explain myself to others…but you said it perfectly – I felt a level of anxiety all the time, afraid I would miss something, feeling like I should always be checking in, and I was just tired of it. I agree – I am too dumb – and insecure – and lacking in self-control – to be on facebook, twitter, or attached to an iphone!! I wish I could handle it all better, but I just can’t.
Jenn says:
I am really tired of my dumb phone, but I know that the last thing my kids need is a Mama who checks email and facebook at the library and grocery store. So I’ll keep it. Anyway, I just remind myself that we can sponsor another child for about the same cost as the internet plan on a phone.
Kris says:
I’m about to be without internet for a while because of financial reasons. I will still have my laptop, but it will be only used when I’m at a place that has WIFI. My cell phone is a prepaid phone I picked up from Wal-Mart for 15-20 bucks. It gets web access, but it is incredibly slow and small.
I will miss friends, but if our relationships are important enough to us we will find a way to get in contact and/or be face to face. If not, then we will see what we are dealing with in ourselves and with each other.
An odd thing is that I feel paranoid about not being able to check the weather multiple times a day. I think that the internet and smarter technologies give us a false sense of security. They become a security blanket.
Douglas says:
I can identify.
[email protected] says:
Had an iPhone for 2 years. Just got rid of it. The guy thought I was NUTS!
The quote from that book sums it up. I just ordered the book from the library 🙂
jen says:
As usual, well said! Congratulations on your step back in time!
My dumb phone and I go a long way back, and I like it that way. But I must say that it’s so hard to explain to people (who are sitting across the table from me texting or at least checking their phone every few minutes) why on earth I wouldn’t want to treat my friends that way! In one of my circles of friends I have been asked many, many times why I don’t text, perhaps I’ll just send them to this post from now on.
Liz Reeves says:
Your post reminded me of this sermon. Every time I get into a tech rut, I watch it to remind me to keep myself in check: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzxmMvbBilM
Kristie says:
Guilty as charged. 🙂
Praying I am improving in this area, though. I’m not checking blogs nearly as often as I used to. I got a StraighTalk phone from Wally World a few weeks ago ($89 phone, but 45/month for UNLIMITED talk, text, and web)…it has a qwerty keypad for the times when I need it (like when I was volunteer coordinator for a huge community event 2 weekends ago and fielded 165 texts in 24 hours), but it’s also a royal pain to use the internet feature–which is great–I can get on the web, but it takes more effort than I’m willing to put forth…unless, maybe, I’m stuck in a 2-hour traffic jam on I-10 w/ my husband driving (like last Saturday).
I’m really trying to learn how to connect with my kids…and it’s hard! I’ve obligated myself to soooo many “good things” (coordinating projects, events, etc.)…finally setting some boundaries, though–time to coordinate more “excellent things” within my own home.
Praying for grace and strength!
Blog on! (though I may not check again for a few weeks)…see you Friday in Valdosta (though I’ll be waving from a distance–6:15 meet & greet is just too tough to manage with drive time involved.)
Jeannette Peterson says:
I agree, I had to upgrade my phone as my old one the keys were starting to stick,
The salesman almost died of shock,
a I didnt get an iPhone
b. my old phone was so old he had never seen one like it before (over 4 years old)
c my sim card (chip) was fourteen years old
he took photos so he could send to people.
I have to admit the phone only gets a workout when I am coordinating a conference or like this weekend it is state elections in Australia, other than that no way.
It is turned off on Saturday night until Sunday night, much to the amusement of my friends.
I dont tweet or facebook.
Angi says:
Yes Shaun! I have a blackberry, but the rollerball fell out about a year and a half ago. I see no reason to get a new phone 🙂
Why spend upwards of $500 on a phone when the FREE ones work just fine?
You rock as always
Gigi says:
Oy….my Droid X is the flame and I am the moth. No matter how hard I try to ignore the pull to “just glance at my emails” I fail every.single.time. I’m weak – I admit it. 🙁 I am waaaaaaaay too dumb for my phone. I think I need two tin cans and a piece of string instead.
Krista says:
Love this! I was a total hold out on getting a cell phone in the first place – not until my parents wanted to “keep track of me” (living in Seattle with a roommate at 23… oy!) and paid for it.
We only have one cell phone for our family although when one of us has to travel it would be nice to have another. We’re considering… gasp… a prepaid phone just for traveling!
I do have to admit though that sometimes I think my kids think they’re competing with the computer. Thankfully it’s a desktop so when I’m out, I’m out. No distractions other than maybe 1 text a day (yes, our phone isn’t a smartphone either – it’s the toughest military grade phone that Samsung makes just so my boys don’t destroy it!) and that’s a good thing. I need more of that for sure.
keith says:
Viva la Tracfone!
Maria says:
Haha!!! I’m right there with you. I’m too “dumb” for a smartphone. I’m a time-waster and I don’t like to be so available.
SteveH says:
I also lack self-control and waste time. I have owned the same video game three times because I would get addicted, get rid of it, get addicted, get rid of it…. Thankfully I haven’t come near it in years….
Anyway, been pondering if my iphone is actually more trouble than it’s worth.
Totally relate.
Carl Holmes says:
I recently read a book call Hamlets Blackberry, and I highly recommend it. He talks about the change in technology, and changes since Egyptian times and how we have coped and changed.
I love my “crackberry” and find it convenient and much needed at times. However, what our society is poor at doing is building in margin times. Times of our day to rest, recreate, unplug.
The author unplugs his wireless router from Friday to Sunday night. Others I know have times in the day that have no T.V., no electronics etcetera.
We should not be modeling what it is to be a technological luddite to our children, but we most certainly can model a better way to engage for them.