Shaun Groves
I apologize to my regular readers for not posting more, um, regularly. (Sorry, Mom and Dad.) I’ve been out of town speaking at a festival for a few days. And before that, I was speaking at a festival for a few days. And after this I’ll be speaking at a festival for a few days.
All this festivaling has been very encouraging. Revelatory even!
Aren’t you sick of the doomsdayers? Over and over again we’ve heard the cynics spewing their statistics aimed at proving the lack of love American Christians have for their Jesus. The naysayers claim just as many Christians are divorced as non-Christians, that just as many Christian teens get pregnant as non-Christian kids. They tell us we’re biblically illiterate, that we don’t give to our churches, that we work too much and serve too little. Bad news everywhere we turn!
To these critics I offer up a rebuttal: the exemplary fervor of the American festival Christian.
The festival Christian loves Jesus. LOVES Him. She loves Jesus so much that she’s practically sprinting to Him.
She’s eating chicken sandwiches made of Krispy Kreme donuts instead of bread…battered and deep fried. As fast as she can.
And corn dogs made of Twinkies…battered and deep fried. And Twinkies covered in bacon…battered and deep fried. And Butterfingers…battered and deep fried.
We’ll see you soon, Jesus! Real soon.
Yum.
Paul Steinbrueck says:
LOL Shaun! You kill me!
Kelly @ Love Well says:
I am horrified by that picture.
Yet strangely, I can’t look away.
Patricia Jones says:
Loved this! Thanks for making me laugh today.
Ron Amundson says:
Sprinting to Jesus via Fryed Bacon wrapped twinkies… lol but the photo actually looks pretty good.
NancyTyler says:
“I’m coming back to the heart (attack) of worship…”
Jackalynn says:
Ughhhh that sounds HORRIBLE!!! You sure that won’t cause more of your strange dreams to occur?
rhonda says:
So wrong;)
jen says:
Gagging and laughing – all at the same time. So, so funny . . . and not so funny – all at the same time!
Shayne says:
Not only that…but they’re shelling out money to do this. Funny.
Of course, since I’m a fan of the Twinkie-dog myself…(I kid, I kid…it’s actually the lard I’m after) I probably shouldn’t laugh too hard. It might send me into a coronary.
Josh says:
That photo- wow…just, wow.
I’ve never heard of this mythica chicken/donut sandwich. I now have the hankering for some Chick-Fil-A. 🙂
Michelle says:
Eek, my stomach flipped at the sight of that picture. Then I read the phrase, “Twinkies covered in bacon” and my guts clenched up more than they did on the Ride of Steel at Darien Lake.
Does anyone have some Tums?
Dawn~Canada says:
We, um…I …huh. Can’t say we have that here in Canada. I’m with the others on this one, it’s funny yet gross.
Matt Church says:
Made me laugh out loud!!!!
cara says:
I must say (as a Canadian gal) that you Americans truly have that entrepreneurial spirit… there’s nothing that you aren’t afraid to deep fry and then market.
What, no bacon-wrapped deep-fried bacon??
annie says:
I think I can actually smell that. Unfortunately, it smells good.
kari says:
Funniest thing I’ve read. Ever.