Shaun Groves
We all have our cross to bear, the saying goes. Papa Smurf made his.
I know something about cross making myself.
And I have a friend back in Texas whose an accomplished cross maker too. Let’s call him “K”. He graduated from a good school, started a successful business, lived in the suburbs with his beautiful wife and three kids. Then, last year he lost it all: the job, marriage, kids.
Because he’s an alcoholic.
He makes a step forward every once in a while: rehab or a new job or a tearful apology. But those are usually followed by a couple steps backward.
He was homeless for a while – living out of his truck and then in a Salvation Army shelter. Today he’s living with another addict he barely knows. But that won’t last. He’ll get kicked out for stealing – again – and craft a lie to cover his mistake.
He lies a lot.
Especially to himself.
Tell a lie long enough and you believe it. Believe it long enough and end up in Tent City with Papa Smurf.
Not everyone took the same path to Tent city. Jon is a songwriter who heard “maybe” in every “no” a record label ever told him. He held onto the dream of stardom fifty years too long and lost his wife, house, and mind in the process. Sarge is a Vietnam vet. Tina was abducted and abused for years. And I get the sense that Antonio has no story to tell – just isn’t interested in the American Dream.
But Papa Smurf has the face and smell of an alcoholic.
He made the cross he carries. Not alone. But he had a hand in it.
Last night we gave him some food, socks and water, hugged him and told him we love him but we can’t keep him from lying. To us or himself. There’s no program for that. No proven relief model for that kind of self-made disaster.
I guess then the goal isn’t really to “fix” Papa Smurf but to keep him alive and keep listening in hopes that someday, maybe someday, he’ll put that cross down for good and ask for help. People Loving People will be there when that day arrives.
More pictures and stories from the old and new Tent Cities coming. Still processing. And praying K doesn’t end up in a place like this.
mandie says:
wow. that takes me back…
thanks for sharing their story.
Robin Vestal says:
Unconditional love….and continually being ready to help when someone is ready to make that move. That’s what we can offer.
Elizabeth says:
God bless him and all the others who are in tent city.
misty says:
Thanks for sharing. It is awesome what is being done by people who love Jesus in that place. Loving those that many considerable ‘unlovable’. Knocking down that lie and proving that everyone is lovable if we allow Gods love to flow through us.
Denise Carter says:
This message/ story really has many layers. To those who have been affected by an addiction… whether the addict or the one who loves the addict will see the many emotional levels that this involves. I have loved the alcoholic. Jesus, by his example tells us we are to continue to love…. and forgive.
Hope springs eternal… the love and healing power of our Lord is eternal. We cannot control, we cannot cure…if we think we can then we are caught up in the same circle of lies and denial.
Shaun, your messages continue to challenge, provoke, inspire and make me think about what I am really suppose to do with the gifts God has given me. Currently, I am being asked to help start a ministry …. all i can say is that your message about “pain” and “passion in life” a few weeks ago has kept me from being able to avoid what I think I am supposed to do. (How I wish God still spoke in burning bushes). How do you really step out in faith … and really trust the Lord??? Please continue to share ( and your fellow bloggers). God is using you to speak to me. Thank you
Jennifer Pelletier says:
Shaun, I am so enjoying reading your perspective on so many things. I love the way your mind works and I love the heart you have for God’s children- ALL of them (us). It is so evident in the way you speak, in the way you behave, even in the way you respond to criticism for your views.
I wish I’d been connected to your website and reading your blogs from the start. You set an example of loving by doing and prove with each message that you have that heart for others and want to drag everyone with you into loving and praying and caring.
Thanks for being you and doing what you do and saying what you say! May God continue to bless you so that you can continue to bless others in His name!
Christina Egner says:
This is my first time stopping by your blog….actually I swung by yesterday but didn’t leave a comment until now.
And as much as I am probably “sounding just like everyone else” right now, I wanted to tell you that your BLOG is very inspiring.
Nice to meet you.
Shaun Groves says:
Thank you for reading, Christina. It’s not always inspiring around here. Sometimes I talk about rabbits and gardening gone wrong ; )
Just give me time…
Beth says:
“K” sounds just like my brother. No one can keep him from lying either, to himself or others. It’s sad, and the price for his addiction is very high, but he’s the only one who can make the change (along with the power of God of course). I keep praying. God is good.
Beth
Rick Orrell says:
I feel kinda sad right now………what if the picture of ‘Papa Smurf’ had been a photo of me and I had read the story line telling how I had the face and smell of an alcoholic and was a liar……not sure what help I’d be willing to seek out or receive from an individual or organization who made a public example and humiliating post about me…….the post may have been a bit more effective (at least with me) if you hadn’t posted a real picture of a real person with real problems, even though you gave him a lovely nickname……..I know that some of your posts are designed to get an emotional response from your readers, but this one gave me a physical reaction as well, a hollow void in the pit of my stomach……….
Shaun Groves says:
Rick, I certainly don’t mean to be cruel. I’ve replaced “Papa Smurf’s” picture with one that obscures his face, though I’m certain he wouldn’t mind the original picture or what I’ve written about him. And Papa Smurf is what he calls himself, not a name I gave him.
He’s an alcoholic. He’ll admit that and then tell you a lie with a smile. He knows you know. And somehow I love him anyway. I respect him even. Not sure why. Maybe it’s his unoffended unflinching honesty.
I asked him, “How come you live here? You’re a talented guy. You were in a gallery I heard.”
He responded with a smile. “I got lost, man.” Then he raised his glass and took a drink.
He’s not ashamed of who and what he is. And he’ll tell you so.
shari says:
I was reading earlier about our responsibility to the widows, fatherless and the stranger. My corrupt little mind thought briefly, I would help them Lord, because they are in these circumstances through no fault of their own. Yes Lord, I would be proud to help this group, just don’t ask me to help those drug abusing, alcohol-consuming lazy people. ( I can be pretty honest with God when I am being arrogant, silly me). Then Shaun puts a face on that drunk…
Katie says:
I got to hear a favorite addict profess Jesus and hope for the first time last night…her pride was broken and everything she had tried to hide was exposed…I keep praying that Jesus is real to her and not just the best way out for her pride…that her heart will be captured and the cross of Jesus will be the only one w/ power over her…
Lisa Smith @stretchmarkmama says:
In the past three years of hubs working for our city’s rescue mission, I have learned this: homelessness is rarely about not having a home.
For those who enter the rescue mission and are willing to do the heart work–life transformation is possible.
(Related, this is my favorite video from last year that hubs produced: https://www.portlandrescuemission.org/2009-12-ye-reflections/ I’m not proud or anything. I mean, not excessively.)
whimzie says:
I love that shari’s comment follows Rick’s.
Addiction isn’t pretty. Facing the truth is hard. But words about the problem without the faces of the real people who are living it just makes it easier for everyone to go on about their everyday lives as if this doesn’t exist. Everyone including the addict.
We kept my brother’s “secret” for almost 20 years. It never did him or us a bit of good.
Still praying he doesn’t end up in a place like this either.
Kim says:
I, like Christina up there ^ am a new reader. I have been lurking, for a while, but haven’t commented on anything yet, but I felt a need to comment today.
You have really hit the nail on the head putting a face (although obscured) on addiction. Some tend to forget that addicts are human beings and that they themselves may be a few bad choices removed from the same situation. God loves without caveat. Jesus died for all people, he didn’t ask for certain types of people to step forward so that he could die only for them. No, he gave his life even for the people like Papa Smurf who openly admit to bad decisions and seem to have no plans to change any time soon.
It is our job, as Christians to follow the example of Christ and love and care for everyone. We have to be his hands, his feet and his heart in the world.
ZOOM says:
I used to wonder how some one could end up like Papa Smurf. OR How could a family could allow their family member to end up in that situation.
Until it happened to our family.
Addiction is a nasty stronghold. It is usually coupled with pride and host of other issues. Sometimes mental illness, sometimes the unexplainable. When it happened in our family, I truly understood Jesus casting out demonic spirits. For the first time, I truly, truly understood that someone could be held captive.
Rick, I was not offended by the picture nor the words. As someone who has seen it up close, and smelled it and heard the lies and felt the frustration- it felt familiar. Not judgmental. More, that Shaun was able to capture in words and pictures simply– reality.