Shaun Groves
Good morning, kids. Today’s bible story comes from the third chapter of the book of Judges.
A long time ago God’s people were ruled over by an evil king named Eglon. Eglon was very rich and very powerful. Pretty much all he did was sit around eating and being waited on by his many servants. Eglon was very fat.
Then, one day God told a left-handed man named Ehud to go visit King Eglon in his palace.
When people are mean to you do your parents ever tell you to talk it out with them?
Is it easy for you to talk through a problem you’re having with a mean person?
Let’s see how well Ehud did talking things out with mean King Eglon.
Ehud brought King Eglon a gift. That was very nice wasn’t it?
Then he told King Eglon he wanted to tell him a secret. So all the king’s servants left Ehud and Eglon alone in the king’s room so no one but the king would hear Ehud’s secret.
Once they were alone, King Eglon got up off of his throne and waddled over to Ehud. He leaned in close to hear Ehud’s secret and then…
Ehud pulled a sword out from under his clothes and stabbed King Eglon’s big jiggly belly! The handle of Ehud’s sword disappeared – it was swallowed up by all King Eglon’s belly fat! And poop ran out of the hole in Eglon’s belly.
Then Ehud snuck out the back door of the palace.
After a little while, King Eglon’s servants came back to check on King Eglon and found the door to his room locked.
“Huh,” they thought, “the king’s probably going to the bathroom and just needs some privacy.”
After a long time the servants got worried about the king so they broke into the king’s room and found him dead.
Meanwhile, Ehud went to the top of a mountain and blew a horn.
Richard says:
This is tied with Elisha’s two bears for my favorite bible story of all time. Following closely is the tent spike through the temple in Judges 4.
jenL says:
I read this through RSS, without the benefit of your “Felt People Banner”
There are many sections of the Old Testament that cause a great deal of “HUH????” and “WHAT THE????” in me. Oh and also the “didn’t see that coming!”
This is one of them.
Michelle says:
Boys love this story for some reason. Don’t know whether it’s the sword disappearing in the fat, or the poop coming out… 😉
Jenny says:
I heart this series. Oh so much.
Zack (@zacharyb) says:
Some nasty stuff in the OT.
You gotta cover the story where a king’s son has his way with one of Jacob’s daughters, and her brothers open a huge can on the whole kingdom…
Shaun Groves says:
It’s in the hopper, man.
thegypsymama says:
All time favorite Bible story as a kid. Can’t wait to pass it on to my boys!
Prudence says:
This is one of my favorite Bible stories. That and the chick who drove a tent spike through Sisera’s head.
I think I may have a problem.
benstewart says:
“And poop ran out of the hole in Eglon’s belly.”
“Meanwhile, Ehud went to the top of a mountain and blew a horn.”
Nice. Very nice.
shane ogle says:
I suddenly feel the need to lose weight, gossip less, and be nice.
Prudence says:
Ohhhh great stuff to pull out of the story. Dang.
Colleen says:
Hmmm…I think this might be a great passage to write out and stick on the front of the refrigerator. It is quite the motivational verse for dieting!
Shayne says:
My family sat around and discussed this story last night (and a ton of other things) as a result of this post.
Thanks for that.
Oh…and my son did love it. Especially the part where the Eglon’s servants were like “Ah he’s just in the bathroom.” He pretty much rolled on the floor laughing at that. My daugher on the other hand, rolled her eyes in that special way that only teen-agers can master and said, “Mom…that’s gross.”
Shaun Groves says:
ShaunGroves.com
Bringing families together one poop story at a time.
Cara says:
This will probably come out the wrong way but I’ll put it out there: The Old Testament, in some parts, makes me embarrassed to be a Christian sometimes.
Just sayin’. I can’t “explain” how these stories are supposed to have some deeper meaning than a bunch of extremist tribal people getting revenge on their enemies. And “God told me to” just doesn’t cut it when you’re trying to explain that God is Love in the New Testament and then you see these kinds of things supposedly endorsed by Him in the Old. I just stammer awkwardly and mutter something about “progressive revelation”. Whatever that means.
CardsFan says:
Is there a Veggie Tales version of this one??? I’m thinking it’s Bob and Larry meet Southpark!! “Saturday evening entertainment with Sabbath morning values!”
Tracey says:
I’m always intrigued by a good bible story that involves bodily functions, like poop.
Kris says:
This is funny in a sick kind of way…I feel guilty for getting a kick out of it. As I sat here laughing I began to feel dread and worry that I might get eaten by bears or some equivalent disater could happen…but still…lol
This is one story I’d like to hold off from my kids for a little longer though. I already battle against excessive bathroom humor, being out numbered and all…
Kris says:
…and poor Ehud. Could you imagine what it must have been like to have your sword sucked up into a guys belly fat and then poop come out…ick. That is one image that I think would be burned into my brain for the rest of my life.
Matt Blick says:
Great post on a great story!
If anyone is brave enough to tell this story in sunday school I’ve got a great song to finish the meeting with
The Eglon Song
be warned though, it’s kinda sticky!
Carla says:
Moral of the story: If you’re doin’ stuff that’s gonna get you stabbed, don’t be fatter then the length of a sword.
And:
Never trust the left-handed.
jen says:
So today, we made it to Judges in our Bible study curriculum. I had the hardest time keeping a straight face as I read the Bible (Ok, I didn’t succeed at all.), remembering this version of the story. I so wish I could be a fly on the wall when the teachers go over this lesson in class tomorrow – what a discussion that’s going to be with a room full of first and second graders, heavy on the boys!
Dad says:
As a “lefty” (and a soldier) myself, I must share some insight with you.
Most men who armed themselves with edged weapons (swords, daggers, machetes, etc.) were right handed, and therefore carried said weapons on their left hip, so that they could draw it in anger with their right hand/arm. When they approached another man, as a greeting they extended and raised their right hand as both a salute and a gesture that they did not have a weapon in their “strong right arm’/hand.
Therefore, when Ehud entered King Eglun’s presence, the kings men saw no weapon on his left hip, and an empty right hand – the king was safe, or so they thought. The 9 inch long dagger Ehud had concealed under his clothing on his right hip was a version of our modern day “concealed carry”, which served Ehud’s purpose very well.
We “lefties” are tricky, huh?
The moral of the story? Teach your kids to be ambidextrous – they will win more fights that way!