Grandaddy was a Southern Baptist until he tried to start a co-ed Sunday school class. The church wouldn’t allow it so he took his bible and his family across the street to the Presbyterians where he served as a teacher and elder for decades afterward.
As tall and thin and talkative as he was stubborn, Grandaddy walked the rows of his garden with me every Summer telling me stories about fights he got in as a kid at school and as a teacher at church, squirrels he killed for stealing pecans from his trees, and the stuff my dad did when he was my age.
We’d squat between the rows of tomatoes and green beans, let our skin relax in the shade and work the vines. His hands were massive, speckled and shiny. They moved as if independent creatures, skittering across the green, pulling and tossing a dozen beans in the time it took me to pry one loose.
“…and then your daddy and John Carwin tied your Aunt Joy to a tree down there by the creek and tried to light her on fire like Indians.”
Those were my favorite stories: The ones that turned the soldier-made-real-estate-agent who mowed the yard and read newspapers into a real live boy like me.
And Grandaddy talked a lot about the weather too. He was like some sort of Magic Eight Ball when it came to precipitation and temperature.
He lived past ninety. Near the end he left his creek and pond and acres of cucumbers, tomatoes, green beans and squash to spend his last years watching Bonanza with my grandmother in a nursing home where the smell of vegetables ripening on the vine was replaced with the scents of urine and 409.
All that wisdom, all those words, those walking shoes, locked inside with nothing and no one to tend.
I miss him somedays and wish I had let him tend me a little more often.
I smelled Grandaddy yesterday afternoon while I was pressing seeds into the dirt. I heard him come out of me when my son asked if I thought it would rain and then how I learned to grow things.
“…and then Grandaddy and Aunt Lindy and I would sit on his back porch and shell green beans for hours.”
Mine is a small garden. Puny compared to Grandaddy’s. But we don’t need a lot of space, Gresham and I. Just enough to kneel down on together.
Michelle says:
We don’t value the stories of our elders as much as we should.
I remember staying with my Grandma and listening to her and her old wives tales and how she and her husband raised their 10 kids. And the family meals when everyone who could be there would be (usually Christmas or New Year) and listenening to the aunts and uncles talk and disagree on what happened when they were younger.
Good times.
misty says:
Awesome! Thanks for sharing.
When we are young we don’t treasure those times as we should. Only when we grow older do we really appreciate them.
amylay says:
i love this. most of my fondest memories are tied to smells. i got the scent of my pappy the other day; it was so strong it brought tears to my eyes. he too, let me help him work his garden or took me fishing at the tank. life was slower back then. slower and better.
Cindy says:
Ok, you just took me back on a journey to my childhood. I remember the smell of the freshly plowed dirt (it’s dirt in AL not soil), the fertilizer, even the way the seeds in the little brown paper bags smelled.
I remember the excitement we felt at the first little green shoots appearing a few weeks later. Then less excitement when it came time to pull the nasty weeds, and picking and shelling (or shucking, or snapping or whatever). But the satisfaction of enjoying what was put on the table for us…oh my. Precious memories for sure.
I also remember the stories. “…and your daddy wanted to feed your Aunt Ann to the pigs when she was born.” “When they taught her to ride her first bike they didn’t tell her about how to stop, they just sent her right off into the rose bushes.”
For my dad’s 70th birthday last November, I gave him a nice leather journal and asked him to fill it with any and every story he could remember. It’s kind of a thing with us. I always give him books to read as gifts. But this time I told him I was giving him a book to write.
I miss my grandparents and the stories. I want to do a better job of preserving these family memories for my children, nephews and future generations.
Thanks for the trip down Memory Lane.
Elaina says:
Beautiful post. Its given me another reason to be happy about going home for the next few years to finish school. In the years that I lived away from California, I missed so much of my grandparent’s remaining years. Now I only have my Grandma’s left. One has Alzheimer’s and the other while still checking and sending e-mail (at 80 something) she’s not in the best health. I think we’ve lost the art, in all our fast paced living, of seeking out those who know a thing or two about life.
P.S. Love your writing!
Jenny P says:
First time reader, first time commenter. 🙂
What a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes, especially when I came to the picture of you and Grandaddy. So precious.
Sarah Valente (Kingdom Mama) says:
I took a bite of a brisket sandwich on white bread with a Coke. I almost cried because it smelled and tasted and felt just like my Pappaw’s house. I miss my grandparents and their wisdom, and I wish I had always known how much I would miss them. Thankfully, it did hit me a few years before they died, but I wish I’d had years and years to glean.
This was a truly beautiful post. Thank you.
Amy says:
Been reading for a while. Never know how to comment. Well done? Nice post?
The best & truest compliment I can give is – you make me think.
Thanks.
Shaun Groves says:
Wow, thanks for that. I struggle with what on earth I’m trying to do here and whether it has any value. Thinking is a good place to start.
Thanks.
Rick Orrell says:
Even though I don’t smoke, I keep a small tin of Prince Albert pipe tobacco on my bookcase and every once in a while I open it to be reminded of my Grandpa……tragically, the thing that reminds me of him when I smell it was also the cause of his death…..sure wish I could talk to him and ask him some questions….maybe one day……
Yael says:
In my life my Nana was as vital to my childhood as imagination and laughter.
Today, I had to take the train into the city. As the world passed by me, I noticed a woman who looked to be in her eighties. With her was a large, brown paper bag bulging with skeins of yarn. She had the colors of spring in her lap.
I don’t know what happened, but the bag fell from her hands and landed on the ground. Her yarn scattered everywhere. Across from her was a young man in his twenties with a friend. His clothing, jewelry and body motions nearly screamed “rap” and “hip-hop”(pants on the ground….literally). He also had a fierce scowl on his face and a rather explicit tattoo on his forearm. Several people had, in fact avoided sitting next to him even though the train was quite full.
Everyone ignored the woman as she slowly stood. I began to un-hook my chair so I could at least hold the bag. “Hip hop guy” stood up, smiled at her and said
“Now you jus’ sit down.”
He proceeded to gather every skein of yarn. He placed them carefully in the bag and then placed the bag on the floor wedged between the seats.
“Keep it on the floor so it don’t fall over like that”
The woman smiled. One of those huge take-up-your-entire-face smiles.
The woman stood. The young man tried to tell her to again, sit down.
“I am going to give you a hug” she said. And she did.
The young man blushed, turned around and sat back down.
The train stopped a few seconds later. The woman stood, smiled at the man again and left.
When the train doors closed, the man sniffled, wiped his eyes and said to his friend;
“*amn she reminds me of my grandma. I really miss her. Ya know?”
Cindy says:
Great story. Crying at my desk! Thanks. 🙂
Shaun Groves says:
Beautiful.
Camda says:
shaun thanks 🙂
Katie says:
First time coming to your site, holy smokes, dude!
Jesus, music, impoverished children, AND a granddaddy in the garden?
I have to admit, I’m hooked. Our garden is tilled under, growing everything (literally) under the sun on the porch in little cups til approved planting date of April 15. And so many memories… I didn’t have grandparents growing up. We had a huge family of neighbors who were all related. The ringleader was an old farmer named Wade who ran cows in our fields and traded produce with my parents and had border collies–a real kid hero. And he would talk to me about Jesus and gardening and let me hold chicken eggs (that part didn’t work out too well) and pick up black snakes to throw in his barn and take me on adventures…he died this week…it is the first time someone I loved since childhood died that I missed heaven instead of my childhood…
Was looking around your main page to see what was what and saw a statement about saving American Christians from hopelessness and it is something I’ve really been thinking about…
A blog entry that my bible study looked at recently (http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html) –and your blog– made me think of a sermon I heard recently from Romans…the point was why would we think our greatest joys would come from any other sources than Jesus’s greatest joys? Why do we think that us chasing happiness will bring us joy when what we were made for is knowing God and glorifying him by doing the good works prepared for us, by Him, to do?
That being said, it was a moment of happiness–a great blessing– yesterday–to see three healthy happy naked little children and two dogs running toward the garden sprinkler for the first time this season…
anyway, thanks for the fun and encouragement in good works and I want you to know that I am going to pray specifically that less and less of your time is taken up by complaining women– b/c sheesh!–and that God would continue to bless your efforts.
katie
Shaun Groves says:
Welcome!
And thanks for the prayers. Always welcomed!
JavaJoy's husband says:
My wife, Joy (no, not Auntie Joy who was burned by the “indians”) has been reading your blog for over two years now since we met you at Northwestern College in Minnesota. We were the token “old” people in the front row. She will occasionally tell me about a posting of yours I should read and today was the day.
Six months ago I began a new calling (I was laid off in Feb. of 2009). I am a Certified MnemeTherapistâ„¢ which is a person who works with people of all ages with all types of brain disorders. (www.ArtWithoutBoundaries.net/LH.html)
I guess you might call me a brain therapist. I work with a lot of seniors with dementia and Alzheimers. We do a painting together and then I try to get them to recall memories from their distant past, such as where they grew up or what they did when they were kids.
Today I worked individually with three seniors who all told me about how they grew up on a farm and proceeded to tell me about life on the farm and what their chores were, etc. It was fun to listen to their stories and I can’t believe I actually get paid to listen to people share their past. God sure knew what He was doing when He led me to this profession.
I do hope there are readers out there who will take as much time as possible to listen to their elders and remember those stories, as well as build those life-long memories with their kids and grandkids. You just never know the incredible impact you can have on someone’s life.
Joy is an incredible gardener with some beautiful perennial gardens as well as a nice vegetable garden. She spends most of the summer out there training our daughter in the finer points of planting, tending and harvesting. It’s a precious site to behold, the two of them out there, side by side.
My daughter just now put on her gardening hat and apron as is anxious to get out there. Too bad it’s still winter here in MInnesota.
Thanks for the thought provoking post. keep up the good work and the good faith. You’re getting through, brother.
Larry
Shaun Groves says:
Thank you, Larry – reading all these years and telling your story. I thought I had the best job ever. Wrong.
Hey, I need some gardening tips from time to time. I might shoot you guys an e-mail every once in a while if you don’t mind. Cool?
Michele T says:
My grandfather was also a seasoned gardener. As I planted tomato seeds and strawberry plants this week, I thought of him often. Thanks, Shaun, for another thought-provoking post. I’ve been a reader since you came to our church – First Baptist Laurel, MD – back in the fall.
Sarah M. says:
Tears are welling up in my eyes. This sounds so much like my grandfather – except mine is still Southern Baptist. He currently has traded his garden to care for my grandmother who is being treated for lymphoma. His once rough hands have suddenly become smooth and his fingernails that always had a trace of dirt are white and clean. I remember summers in the garden (and the chicken pen – ewww) with him and the shelling of peas and shucking of corn on the porch with the entire family. Thanks for the sweet memories this morning.
Thomas says:
I remember one of the last times I went fishing it was with my grandfather. It was before I went to basic training. He was so proud of me. He kept on saying this is my grandson and he is in the Navy. I allowed life to get in the way of us going fishing again. Now that he is no longer with us, I wish I had found the time to spend a day sitting along the lake shore fishing with my grandfather.
Thomas
Missy @ It's Almost Naptime says:
Yes.
I can’t believe you just said you smelled your grandfather – because night before last, when once again attempting to make cornbread as good as the generations who have gone before me (and once again failing), I took my grandpa Chester’s cast iron skillet out of the oven when the bacon fat had melted, and when I did, I said just that – I smell Chester.
ZOOM says:
My Word. That just made my heart full. Do all southern granddaddy’s look the same?? This made me so homesick for my grandparents, who are in heaven.
My grandddaddy had a garden as well. I still long for the taste of the tomatoes, melons, onions, beans and peaches from his garden.
Kelly Robinson says:
Weeping. How blessed you were to have him…and how great that you appreciate it so much. Made my day better. Thanks
Caroline says:
Your words took me back to my childhood also. I had a great grandfather and grandparents who were there to tell me wonderful stories and teach me the important things that don’t involve anything that kids think are so important today. Reading your words makes my heart again ache for my own children who don’t have great grandparents and have already lost the one grandparent who would have been the one to teach them all of those wonderful things. I only hope I can remember enough. Thank you for taking me back…
Cara says:
Your story was pretty great Shaun. The story below by the poster Yael put me over the edge. I’m trying to write finish a project (student nurse) and I’m blubbering all over and missing my grandma like crazy now.
Love this blog. *happy sigh*
Melanie says:
Absolutely. Beautiful.
Thank you so much for this post. I reminded me of my sweet Pappaw who is now with our Lord. I wish I could have recorded his voice telling me his stories, and especially hear his laugh again. Thank you for this special reminder.
Melanie
~ melscoffeebreak.blogspot.com ~
Sarah says:
I was only 12 years old when my grandfather passed away. I am sitting here with tears just rolling. This brings so many memories back of spending time with him in his garden. Your Grandaddy and my Papaw sound very similar. What a beautiful legacy to leave with your children.
Beth says:
I never had the privilege of knowing any of my grandparents. My mom was orphaned at age 3. My dad lost his mother when he was only 7, and his father died before I was born. I have stories about him though; told to me by my dad; usually at bedtime. I have all of his photo albums too. My grandfather was a merchant marine and sailed around the world 8 times! He was buried at sea. I tell my kids stories about my parents all the time because they died when my oldest was not yet two. We will be grandparents later this year, and I can’t wait to tell my grandchild stories, and spend time with him (or her), and hopefully pass on what they will look back on as wisdom too.
Dawn~Canada says:
We (finally) watched Pixars UP last night with the kids. “It’s the boring stuff that I remember most…” said Russel. Me too. The boring stuff’s what sticks only too bad we don’t realize it at the time. Thanks for writing Shaun.
Melinda says:
Sometimes I wish that we were able to be aware, as children, of the impact those elders in our lives were having, right then, in the moment. So often it seems that the full realization doesn’t come until we’re gazing back at their well-lived lives, and filled with an ache to relive the stories, sights and smells that defined them.
Thanks for stirring a pot of fine memories and releasing their tantalizing aroma. I think I’ll feast for a while.
Trina B says:
Ya made me cry, and understand why harvesting the first cucumber from my garden this year felt like such a sacred victory.