Shaun Groves
I’m so thankful for the diligence of our Help Haiti Live event team. Our roster of artists is almost complete but it hasn’t been easy: Our team has heard “no” many many more times than we’ve heard “yes.” And a lot of “who else is involved” too.
This pissed me off earlier today. I fired off quite a rant to a member of our team. I wished this and that artist would “grow a pair” and follow their passion instead of being such a sheep, so apathetic or self-protective. If I care about something strongly, I said, nothing can stop me from doing something about it, even if I’m the only one doing something about it. I don’t get the reluctance here.
Oh, the ugly came out of me for sure. And along with the vitriol came pride and arrogance – two old pals of mine that visit more often than I’d like.
Is it really true of me? Is it really true that I’m not the least bit concerned about how I’m perceived, not worried that I’ll lend my name and time to the wrong cause?
The truth is…
I first learned that Compassion needed artists to speak for them way back in 2001. I was on tour with Bebo Norman and I heard him give his spiel about poor kids and mercy and sponsorship for more than fifty nights on the road. But I didn’t join up with Compassion at the end of the tour. I was scared, skeptical, wary of standing beside strangers speaking about something I didn’t feel I understood and wasn’t sure I could endorse wholeheartedly.
Four years, many conversations, lots of questions and one trip to El Salvador later I finally believed in the ministry of Compassion enough to partner with them.
So, to the reluctant rock stars, I need to apologize now: I’m sorry for assuming the worst about you. I’m sorry for pushing and pestering you to make a decision in a few weeks that took me four years.
And I wish you the best as you try to do the right thing without wronging your reputation and your audience in the process. And who knows? Maybe a few years from now you’ll decide – in some third world country – to stand with us.
Until then, got any questions?
Take your time.
Take a trip.
Get back to me someday.
Kristie Wooten says:
I don’t believe in rock stars–I used to believe in them….back in the day, when the VERY FIRST W.O.W. (ninety-whatever) came out, I took all the little posters from our local Christian bookstore’s display when they were done–and throughout my high school years, I had Wayne Watson and Steve Green and Steven Curtis Chapman and Larnelle and Susan Ashton and Cindy Morgan all stapled to my bedroom wall…ohh, yes, I was one of THOSE–and yes, my classmates (even the preacher’s kids) thought I was just way overboard!
Now, refreshingly, I’ve come to discover that even THEShaunGroves and Miss Pattycake and even Steven Curtis Chapman….are real people who eat real Chick-fil-A like I do, and who get ticked off for a good cause sometimes like I do, and who write ridiculous “should never be heard in public” songs for their four year olds like I do…and I love it! It has set me free to feel like I (yes, little ol’ me from Smalltown, USA) can join you guys in building God’s Kingdom! What a privilege–yes, a privilege to join you guys…but even more so, a privilege to be called a Child of the King and to be a vessel for His use! Wow!
I know that most of America–and most Christians– DO still believe in the idea of Rock Stars, probably now more than ever….and so, thank you for walking in integrity and for proclaiming THE “Good News” from that great, big pedestal that so many people have placed you on…I know it brings great delight to our Father, who rules and reigns over all!
Amy @ My Friend Amy says:
It is so hard to have patience for someone else to come around to what we’ve processed through for ourselves. And asking who else is involved is a way of finding out if it’s worth attaching your name especially when you don’t know very much about the organization, I’ve experienced this EXACT thing in an event I’m helping to plan, when we landed a huge contact all the others fell into place. It can feel frustrating–our reputation wasn’t enough on its own, or in your case the goodness of your cause isn’t enough.
but it’s good to take a step back and realize the eyes you see the world through aren’t the same eyes everyone else does and just keep praying Shaun, that they will eventually see what you see.
Bernard Shuford says:
While I can agree with your patience, I would say this to “Rock Stars” – get off your duff on the issue of supporting disaster relief and international charity. I believe that EVERY Christian band / singer / rock star should either be pursuing an organization or supporting an organization. In the good times. That way, when the bad times come, they know where to channel their efforts and funds. Don’t wait until there’s a tsunami or an earthquake to try to find out if Mission Aviation Fellowship or Compassion or WorldVision are good organizations – find out NOW and get on board.
To take it a step further, I believe that EVERY Christian – rock star or not – should do the same thing. Don’t leave it all to your church, although that IS a good route IF they are connected to some such organization. Do the homework yourself.
Know ahead of time. Be prepared to HELP.
Just my thoughts – as usual, Shaun, good article.
Kristie Wooten says:
totally agree!
We are THAT family says:
I love your honesty. It’s completely refreshing.
It’s in the process of becoming that God moves us with compassion.
Your job is to start the process, but only He can complete it.
You are doing a great job.
Jason says:
I love your transparency and humility, Shaun. 95% of people in your situation would have just quietly moved on and not apologized in any way.
I’ll keep praying for your event.
Kelli says:
Thanks for being so honest. My husband and I have worked through similar frustrations on a much smaller scale, and not with rock stars but with every day people…and with ourselves.
There is such temptation to always be looking out for the angle that best serves us and not necessarily how we can best serve others. Within the church body, my husband and I are often frustrated at how people have to be begged to serve. And with the asking comes the classic response, “Let me pray about it.”
Not that I think there isn’t room to pray for guidance in decision making, because we certainly should, but more often than not, “I’m praying about it” is code for, “I don’t want to do this so I’m gonna buy myself for time.” In reality, we should be seeking for ways we can serve, looking for opportunities to reach beyond ourselves, even if it’s not something we love, because that’s what needs to be done. That’s why it’s called service.
I wish I could say I’m great at jumping up and volunteering my service unselfishly at any given moment. But I’m not. I balk at serving outside areas of my comfort as much as the next person. But I am aware of the need to stop “thinking” about whether or not God would have me serve and start stepping out in faith and letting Him use me for His Kingdom!
Krissy says:
First of all, I completely understand your first reaction and I don’t doubt for a second that that would have been mine, as well. So good for you for having the humility to step back and be less judgmental. That said, I actually think maybe you should go a little further.
Of course, I have absolutely no idea which rock stars you’ve talked to or what their stories are. Still, I know just enough about the lives of some people in the music industry to know that many of these good people–the kind that get called upon in situations like this–are constantly called upon from every direction. Not that they shouldn’t be, I’m just saying that they are. They work really hard, spend much/most of their time on the road… and then most of them, like us, have spouses and children–and sometimes aging parents, etc– who want/need/ deserve their time, too. We don’t know what these people give in terms of their time and money to various causes. I do know that some give an awful lot. I would just suggest that we remember that we never know what’s in someone else’s heart. What if “no” means: I’m overstretched right now and I promised my kid I’d be there for an event at school”? And what if “who else is involved?” means “I don’t have a ton of time to research this organization, but maybe someone else who’s involved is someone I trust to have done that, so I would know it was probably worth my time and effort.” I don’t know… Sure, there could be nothing but apathy and self-protectiveness at play here. But, as tempting as it is, we’re not the judges of that. And I wonder if you saying “maybe in a few years you’ll stand with us” is still coming from a place of judgment, ie, “maybe in a few years something will happen so that you’ll get your values straightened out and stand with us.”
All that said, I totally admire the work you’re doing and pray that things will come together in a wonderful way.
Debby says:
What seems odd about this post is the public apology to private individuals who are probably not even aware of your “ugly”. Unless you forwarded your letter on to them also, or communicated those same thoughts to them personally. But then I think you would have simply gone to them and apologized privately. Your sin isn’t against me or your blog readers…is it?
I’m sorry if I’m missing something here but it seems as though your use of this public forum isn’t about an apology as much as it about casting a little snarky pebble. Your message comes across as, it’s so frustrating to wait for you guys to come around to my right way of thinking, but I will show patience to you in your immaturity.
You sound weary and frustrated to me. As you’ve indicated previously, this is God’s concert, God’s plan…He will bring who is needed in whatever way he chooses. Ask, let the Holy Spirit lead, wait on Him.
Praying for your team.
Shaun Groves says:
You’re right Debby in that I don’t expect any of the “rock stars” to read these words. And they have no clue I got frustrated with them yesterday. They’re being invited by members of the team, not me. So, yes, this is not truly an apology to them but, then again, none is needed since they’re unaware of my previous angst.
But my gosh, Debby, a blog is a good place to process and even confess. It forces me to hold fast to my newfound more positive and charitable attitude and it hopefully leads readers to make similar changes in their own life. I think this post has already caused some of us to connects dots in our own lives, to acknowledge that perhaps we’ve been uncharitable or expected more of others than we expect of ourselves.
So it’s worth processing publicly because we all benefit and so, hopefully, my “sin” is a seed for good in the lives of many more. My inbox says that’s true.
Ironically, you’re making assumptions about my motivations and mindset after reading a post in which I confess that my doing the very same thing was wrong. ; )
Debby says:
Not making assumptions, just sharing how it came across. Thus, “it sounds like” as opposed to “you are”.
And do I see your comments as “sin”? Nope. No I don’t. Not then, not now.
And the comment section is no less a good place to process and have a conversation and plant seeds than the blog itself.
Thanks for the opportunity to do that!
Shaun Groves says:
I stand corrected.
cct says:
Key words I read here: “If I care about something strongly….”. So I think you hit the nail on the head, they just aren’t there yet. Praying some day they will be.
Megan says:
My friend used to date Bebo Norman. I’m sure that’s some kind of 7 degrees from somebody game just waiting to happen…
dean says:
you nailed me, bro, and i needed it. when i first started out in ministry on church staffs, i bought into a lot of stuff that went on in churches, particularly in the way of inward-focused activities and spending money on entertaining ourselves. only in the last 18-24 months have i come under conviction about how upside down this way of “doing church” is, and i’ve had a radical, wholesale change of heart and mind about it. unfortunately, i’ve approached these issues with my local church in such a way that just because i changed my outlook in just the last year and a half, that they should IMMEDIATELY come around to my way of thinking and get their collective act together.
thanks for the kick in the pants. i have some apologies of my own to make…………..
Marla Taviano says:
I’m always wishing people would “get to where I’m at” more quickly. If I’d open my eyes, I’ll bet I’d see a ton of other areas where I need to “get to where someone else is at.”
I appreciated this post.
Princess Leia says:
This reminds me of something which I remind myself of frequently – Peter’s admonition for wives not to nag their husbands. Yep, by bugging hubs he might end up doing the thing that I want him to do, but by giving it to God instead maybe someday hubs will do it willingly of his own volition (and in God’s timing rather than my own) instead of just because I nagged.
But it’s so much easier to nag. And then complain when my vinegar didn’t catch more flies than honey.
Amy says:
A long time ago I was taught this brilliant little bit of wisdom: “when someone says NO, it means that you haven’t given them enough information.”