Let Them Eat Optimus Prime

I think my children love me. All year I think this. Until their birthdays roll around.

Then it’s I want a carousel! I want Candy Land! I want Optimus Prime in a three point stance with Bumblebee jumping over him in a city!

You want what??

So today I’m scouring the interwebs looking for pictures of Optimus Prime in a three point stance so that tonight – maybe the whole night – I can create a birthday cake for Gresham. (Sadist.) Who is turning seven. (Dad hater.)

Apparently there are quite a few mean-spirited Prime-lovers and spineless cake makers having a good ol’ frosted transforming time together out there.

Optimus-Prime-wedding-cakeYep. That’s a birthday cake. And the groom’s cake. I don’t know him. But I know he doesn’t deserve her.

I found this cake over at a place called Geekologie. No surprise there. What are the odds that the 30 year-old “man” who requested this cake for his birthday also lives with his mom and sleeps on Star Wars sheets?

No. Words.

Then there’s this one.
Optimus Prime-ss Where does the kid go from here?

Besides the bathroom. That’s a lot of frosting, my friend.

Well, the bar is high. Off to “work.”

Transform and roll out.