Shaun Groves
From THE DIVINE COMMODITY by SKYE JETHANI: ..an increasing number of young people – as many as 250,000 new ones every day – use [social networking sites] to mediate nearly all of their personal interactions. But rather than encouraging healthy relationships with real people, these sites foster pseudo-relationships through shallow identities. Beyond demographic details like a person’s age, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, a user’s Facebook page reveals identity primarily through their consumer preferences: favorite music, favorite books, and favorite TV shows. Combined with photos and other carefully, or carelessly, selected materials, we are invited to present a “profile” to others that amounts to a digital facade. And by “friending” someone on the site we aren’t actually committing to a relationship, but simply allowing them a closer look at our phantom consumer identity.
The appeal of social networking sites is the ability to simultaneously have hundreds of “friends” without actually risking the emotional investment of a real human relationship. As a result, relying on these sites for the bulk of one’s relationships may exacerbate the aching loneliness we feel in our souls. (Book tour begins tomorrow, April 16th)
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From CHRIS HUGHES, co-founder of Facebook and co-creator of MyBarakObama.com, reported in FAST COMPANY March 2009: I don’t really know what ‘community’ means. And I never use that word…I just never think of myself as being in the business of building an online community.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a company or a campaign; you build around commonality. If it’s real people and real communities, then it’s valuable. Otherwise it’s just playing around online.
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What do you use Facebook for?
Tim Bailey says:
ya- but try and be a fake on Facebook. It’s hard to pretend when all the people who really know you are posting pictures of you and commenting on your wall. It’s forced integrity. I used to be able to have three or four different lives – not anymore. They all collide on Facebook.
(makes for good perusing as the parent of teenagers…
Adam says:
Absolutely nothing. I havent jumped on the FB bandwagon. I have a hard enough time keeping my blog updated and personal rather having yet another website that will take more time way from me
euphrony says:
I have some 30-odd friends on Facebook (and you can take that “odd” part any way you want). I use it to, uhm, well, I don’t really use it. I spend less than 10 minutes a week on FB. I have checked the tour schedules for a couple of favorite artists who never update their website, but that’s about it.
Jill Foley says:
I don’t use Facebook….Like Adam I haven’t jumped on that bandwagon. I feel like I would spend a lot of time catching up with people who I really don’t need to catch up with. My children and husband deserve more than that.
Melissa Fitzpatrick says:
I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I think it is a lot of fun and I especially like it for travel. You can hook-up with long lost friends and you can learn from status updates that someone fun is going to be in the same vicinity as you live. That is all very fun.
All in all, I think I used Facebook because it was fun. But, I got off a few months ago and life has been easier. I don’t have that same obligation to message or comment someone that I barely know. Also, I find myself less anxious because my mind isn’t constantly spinning while trying to maintain so many details of other people’s lives.
I will say that it takes a lot of discipline to stay completely off Facebook. They pretty much own your page and all you have to do is login again and your entire disabled account is activated and you have all your original friends and pictures. This makes it tricky. After you’ve tasted the life of a Facebook stalker, it is a bit difficult to go back. I think it is worth it though. Maybe. Unless you see me back up next week. Then I’m sure it was for evangelistic purposes or something along those lines.
Dave says:
I barely can keep up with it. I mostly have my blog feed in there and casually keep up with friends. It’s hard to do Facebook, Blog, and most importantly parent at the same time. Facebook just isn’t a priority, it’s way down on the list.
Krissy says:
I LOVE facebook, mainly because I have, through FB, reconnected with dozens of people from high school who I hadn’t seen since graduation. Some of these people I barely knew in high school, and it’s been awesome getting to know them a little bit better now that we have an extra 20 something years of life under our belts. Others were close friends in high school and we just kind of drifted apart. I don’t know how we would have ever gotten back in touch with each other without FB. One such friend is coming to visit me next month, and I couldn’t be more excited.
Sure I’ve heard about the studies that say that people who spend a lot of time on FB and other such online sites are lonelier than others, and I couldn’t say whether that’s true or not. It certainly should never be something done INSTEAD of live personal connections. But, if done in balance, it’s a fun addition to life. At least, that’s been my experience.
Veretax says:
I am on three Social networking sites, (5 if you include the ick that was Reunion and Classmates.com) Myspace, Facebook, and Linked-in. Only reason I’m on MySpace and Facebook is to try to reach out to people I have been unable to keep current phone numbers for, former classmates, and new contacts etc. Linked-in is all about networking for jobs.
My wife is seriously addicted to facebook though, half the games she plays I think are hidden virutal ponzi schemes, but I guess it could be worse, it could be something like Worlds of Word Craft (only game I could think of that’s current, not meaning that as a commentary on the game itself.)
Seth Ward says:
I use facebook to further my fame. I like to post pictures of myself and I enjoy people looking at pictures of me and I can only hope that at least some… will wish they were me.
Sometimes I just use facebook to direct people to my blog. I also enjoy competing for number of friends with other people. It makes me feel good about myself if I increase my friend number 20 a week or so.
The thing I like least about facebook is the actual interaction. I really don’t like it when people from 15 years ago message me in the middle of cropping some amazing shot of myself that must be set immediately in my profile.
Mostly, altogether, because it is about me. A free Seth Ward billboard. Can’t beat that!
Lindsay @ Not2Us says:
Tim has a GREAT point. All the people who know you in “real life” force you to be your real self on Facebook (via wall posts, photos, and other such media.) If you try to lie and be fake on Facebook, it’s going to come around and bite you.
And, while you can allow Facebook to relegate all your relationships to a shallow and pathetic existence, you don’t have to. You can use Facebook to get a peek into your friends’ lives, their real lives, and use it as a way to grow deeper with them and challenge them to new heights.
Many of the women in my ministry reveal things on FB that they would never reveal during Bible Study. By seeing their status updates and wall postings, I am able to better guage their needs and then meet those needs in a tangible offline manner.
By the way, I <3 FB. (LOL!)
Prairie Rose says:
I use facebook to see what’s going on in the lives of family members I had almost all but lost touch with as we grew up and didn’t see each other often anymore. I have also found it a great way to catch up with people I knew years ago, lost touch with, and am now re-establishing relationships with. I know a lot of people use it as a surface thing, they take quizzes and send virtual stuff, and have friended every single person they’ve ever heard of in their life, but I don’t use facebook for that… I see it as a way to enhance or re-establish real-life relationships.
Heather Irene says:
To keep up with my friends from college who live all over the country and all over the world. I also have a lot of friends locally, which is more for community event promotion.
Lindsey says:
Procrastinating.
It’s a quick way to avoid all my homework haha.
It’s also a great way to stay in touch with people. Since entering college, some of my best friends are spread out all around the country. We’re pretty busy and have very different schedules. It’s hard to find times on the phone that are good for both people. Facebook allows me to keep up with what’s happening in their lives, and visa versa. When they tell me about their new friends or the event the just hosted, I can see pictures and read notes. Also, some of my cousins across the country have facebooks now. I can see pictures of them and their families when I might not get that opportunity otherwise. Facebook makes it convenient.
Also, it’s REALLY convenient on a college campus. Every student organization here (including sports teams, colleges, etc etc) advertises their events on Facebook. When I’m planning an event, I can immediately invite hundreds of people and let everyone on campus know about it–that’s impossible to do by handing out fliers on campus.
Stretch Mark Mama says:
I’m a big FB fan. I’ve reconnected with friends from my past, and found those relationships to be strengthened b/c of FB. Example, I keep up with my classmate (hello, AGE 34) who is battling breast cancer, and my college friend who is translating the Bible in Africa (and who doesn’t blog) and the list goes on and on.
It’s also been helpful for me to get to know people better in my real life. I have a hard time making friends in real life, mostly b/c I’m more introverted, but also b/c I’m constantly wrestling three small kids. But on FB, I can get to know lots of people from my community who I never seem to have time to chat with at the library, at church, or around town.
Plus, I’m just a nosy type who loves to clown around, and FB is the perfect platform for that.
Also! I’ve watched my husband use FB to network with his friends, and he’s learned a lot, and even helped people get jobs. The whole social networking thing is amazing, and I think it’s worth embracing.
Su says:
I’m new to the bandwagon… but this week I’ve re-connected to at least 4 friends from high school, who I would never have thought about otherwise. We may not be actual friends now, but at least by being on Facebook we won’t be complete strangers at the next class reunion.
Amy @ My Friend Amy says:
I wanted to stand up and cheer at Tim’s comment! It’s so so so true.
And it’s true about blogs, too. If people who really know you read your blog, you can’t very well be fake.
To be honest, people who say online community isn’t real haven’t experienced it in my opinion. I agree it shouldn’t be your whole life. But that doesn’t make it less real.
Stretch Mark Mama says:
Oh, and what’s funny about this conversation is that teens and 20s don’t even ASK this question.
Just an observation, not a critique.
It’s just like the folks in their 40s/50s who are still asking if blogs are relevant.
keith says:
I just use it to make smartalec comments at my “friends’” expense.
Melissa Fitzpatrick says:
So, I’m really tempted to get back on Facebook today for some reason. Just had to confess to the Shlog in advance. Dangit.
Kristie says:
I use it to chat with friends who live far away (save on long distance), keep up w/ my cousin in Waco @ Baylor, swap baby pics, etc. I also use it to promote events locally so that I can get info. out to others, even locally, but who attend other churches, about stuff going on in town. But…it truly is not a replacement for face-to-face conversation. I prefer Skype a bit more because at least you can see who you’re talking to, in “real time.” It does concern me, especially for the generation just after mine, that FB seems to be the “ONLY” way to communicate, other than texting.
Rick Orrell says:
I used my facebook contacts to send cards and money to a friend of mine who lost his job three or four months ago, then he had to have knee surgery and his car stopped working. So I contacted our mutual friends (and some of my generous friends who don’t even know him) to send him cards of encouragement and if possible some money to help him out. He wound up receiving over $200!!
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