It seems like Becky is always standing in front of a washer and dryer or at the grocery store. These are two jobs she won’t outsource to me. Understandably. There was that time I turned all her underwear and mine pink. And there was that time I bought the wrong brand of toilet paper and peanut butter and the time I spent almost twice as much on groceries as she averages. And she does average. She keeps track like shopping is an olympic sport. She always walks in the door bragging about how she just saved 47% on groceries – as if trying to impress a judge into giving her a 9.9.
Anyway, you get the idea. She’s quite the accomplished shopper and washer of all things textile.
I, on the other hand, can throw-down with a dusting cloth and a scrub brush. Dishes and bathrooms are my specialty.
Becky oversees oil changes because, well, she’s in the car 90% of the time since I “work” from home most days. And she does the taxes because, well, she’s a CPA with a masters degree in finance, or is it accounting, and I play the guitar and sing pretty. So this makes sense as well.
But I lift things that are heavy and reach things that are high up. This will continue to be the case until Gresham’s about 10, at which point we’re fairly certain he will be stronger and taller than me and I’ll be out of a job. But I also fix things: bikes, smoke alarms, dripping faucets, leaking windows, broken furniture. And I play Candyland, I Spy Bingo, and work puzzles daily. And then there’s baby spiders.
I was reading yesterday in Psychology Today – because one of my jobs is reading a lot apparently – that it’s not a good idea to try to even up the workload in a family. They recommend you just do what you’re skilled at and be sensitive to each other so you notice when assistance or a break is needed. Well, hopefully you notice before the assistance and break is needed. They say that trying to make the “chore” list equal requires constant measuring and scrutinizing, and those things lead to resentment and division pretty quickly.
So, now instead of feeling selfish and lazy because my superhuman wife does approximately 75% of all the stuff that keeps this family running, I just feel a lot less skilled than she is. Yea, that’s better. Thanks psychologist people. Thanks for the help with that.