It’s an age old question: How many five year-olds can you take on?
I thought I knew the answer: 10
I was wrong. The correct answer is 2.*
It started out as your standard game of King of the Mountain: Old guy on top of the mountain. Six kids of both genders and all ages attempting to knock old guy off of said mountain. That’s how it started.
It ended with old guy breaking a rib and crawling to a bench where he rested for a few minutes and then whined for 24 hours (so far) every time he laughed, coughed or sneezed.
I was on all fours tickling my nephew Kase (recently six, pictured on my back above). I was laughing. I was distracted. Obviously, in hindsight, I now recognize this as part of their elaborate strategy.
Then, my son, Gresham (also recently six), my own flesh and blood, the mastermind behind the assault I’m pretty sure, speared me in the ribs with his head after a good running start.
And down the mountain I came. And retaliated with such trademark old guy moves as tickle time..
and the dreaded booty punch.
*This statistic is the result of only one round of research conducted at Pump It Up, a non-Brant-certified non-regulation fighting space, in combat against recently six year-olds.