I thought it was a magic incantation. I’ve prayed the same words almost every morning for the last twenty years. It’s always the same simple sentences, said in a whisper while the warmth of the shower muscles against my mind, limp from sleep, dragging it into the day like a mom drags her two year-old out of the toy store and into the bright parking lot against his will.
I love sleep. I loathe mornings. The words help me make the transition.
God, I say, I’m giving you my thoughts and actions today. Speak to me and through me. Please help me. I can’t do today without you. Amen.
Some speaker guy at a youth camp eons ago told us to do this every morning and God would move. Being the compliant kid I was, I started praying this way the next day. And I never stopped.
I don’t understand prayer. At all. I don’t understand why I do it or how it works. But I confess that for most of my life I’ve prayed as if God won’t move unless I give him the go-ahead. It’s as if, at some level, I’ve viewed God as a puppet and my words as strings. God, I’ve behaved as if I believed, is all-powerful, yes, but also choosing to be tethered, dangling powerlessly and moved from here to there only when I recite my magic sentences. Then – tug, tug – a friend is healed. Tug, tug – a bill is paid. Tug, tug – the right words find me at the right time.
Then what about this morning?
This morning I was up at 6:10. No shower. No whispers to God. Yet, on the first flight of the day, the right words found me at the right time and I was healed – or at least heavily medicated.
Wally’s daughter Quinley is my daughter Penelope’s best friend. Two three-year-olds with matching pink boots, ponytails and sassiness. Wally and I exchange handshakes from time to time as we pass in the halls. “Hey! Good to see ya.” We might have even hugged once or twice – with the requisite three pats on the back. But we’ve never really talked at length.
This morning Wally sat across the aisle from me on my first flight. Turns out he manages independent artists, knows a lot about the music business. And he knew an uncomfortable amount about my career – enough to know how long it’s been since I recorded a full record. He asked me when I’ll be recording again.
Wally’s a big bear of a guy with the unexpected gift of putting you at ease, drawing the real you out. He makes trusting him irresistible, so I told the truth, the whole truth, what I haven’t told the many people who’ve asked me this same question at church or in the grocery store or via Facebook: I’m scared. I’m struggling. I’m stalled. I’m uninspired. I’m embarrassed. I’m unsure and consequently very unproductive.
Wally listened, asked questions, agreed, disagreed, encouraged and after a very short time I felt newly directed. And peace. Blessed. The right words at the right time. Healing. With no tugging.
Today I did nothing to deserve Wally’s words. I didn’t ask for them. I didn’t look for them. I wasn’t even aware that I needed them. They just arrived out of nowhere like an e-mail from a Nigerian millionaire, only more honest. Or, better, like a hug and a sack lunch from a loving father I forgot to say “good morning” to before heading out the door.
God moved today. No strings attached.
God, thank you for changing my thoughts and actions this morning. Please continue to speak to me and through me. Please help me. I can’t do today without you. And thank you for sitting me beside Wally. Amen.
Marsha Guerard says:
I’m glad for selfish reasons that God brought the two of you together on this flight. I loved “Invitation to Eavesdrop.” I can believe that things sometimes freeze up … they do for me, too. Push through any fear (which you know is not from God!) and remember there are strangers out there who really love your music.
Jim Gray says:
Dude,
Get off your sorry butt and write some songs.Stop being a pansey. I’ll buy whatever you put out on the table. How’s that for inspiration?
Nancy Tyler says:
Encouraging to wake up and read this!
I fell asleep last night thinking about and praying for several creative friends who really, truly need good managers or editors because going it alone isn’t working for them.
The sensitive wiring that gives an artist the ability and the compulsion to write or sing or paint or act with such insight is also sensitve enough to be a strong transmitter of insecurities. At least it is with me…and every single creative soul I know.
Ron Woods says:
Isn’t it cool that we have a God who chooses … CHOOSES … to be interactive with us? He doesn’t have to. (Like, who is going to make Him?) But we are invited to … and He even encourages us to NAG Him! (Remember the parable?) God takes your prayers as seriously as you do. For years I prayed, “God, do whatever you want to do today in my life to make me the man you want me to be.” He’s spent the last 5 years letting me get beat up. Fun times! (WRONG!) But worth it? Uhhhh … ask me in 5 more years. The verdict is not “in.” But I’m betting on Him.
Deidre says:
I hope this means there is a CD in the making … no strings, of course.
Dawn says:
So I found your twitter spot through another tweet and thought I like that crazy pix so I followed,right?
Then I clicked on your link this AM and now I know why I followed you to begin with..these words are spoken like I felt and often am reminded how much HE loves us regardless of us.
THanks it is heartwarming and encourging! God Bless you and yours today!
Heather says:
I can’t even tell you how badly I need a Wally in my life…a Godly friend with words of wisdom and encouragement. Would you please pray that God sends someone like that my way?
Jim Gray says:
God recently led me to a new buddy who is a believer and we meet once a week. I’ve also joined up with an online lifegroup. It’s been very encouraging.
By the way, whoever reads this…I downloaded Kingdom Coming today. Awesome, great lyrics. Do a whole album.
Nancy Tyler says:
I’ll pray for that for you, Heather.
Jim Gray says:
love the blogging community these days.people praying and talking even in the comments. God works in us everywhere. It just pours out!
Shaun Groves says:
Me too, Heather. Anyone else need added to that prayer list?
Heading home, long flights, lots of time to pray. Or watch Long Way Round. I’ll check back on the comments before I board and plan my in-flight time accordingly.
Thanks for just being here, everybody. I appreciate every one of you.
Jim Gray says:
Shaun, I need wisdom in figuring out the work situation. it’s time to start up or go back to looking for working for the man.
Grovesfan says:
Prayer for a “Wally” and a job for me would be GREATLY appreciated. I think I’m the only person in America now that WANTS the IRS to call
Richard says:
I am looking forward to anything new you put out. You are an amazing songwriter.
Bonnie says:
I personally loved “White Flag.” You came to my area (Cary, NC) a few years ago and walked through the Beatitudes. Who doesn’t like a sermon set to music???
More songs please!!
Bill Whitt says:
Thanks for being open and honest about feeling stalled. When I read your blog entries, though, you seem anything but stalled. You have a theological depth that I don’t see even on “theologian’s” Web sites. You have tons of fresh ideas here, and you’ve taken on many of the challenges that we all face (such as your post on things that are not in the Bible).
The blog itself may prove to be the fertile soil for your next song ideas. And even if they don’t turn into songs, I’m grateful for the poetry of your written words, even without the music!
Tyson says:
Shaun, I read blog often and I just want to say thanks for being honest about things in life and this crazy world that we all live in.
FzxGkJssFrk says:
Hey Shaun,
I’ll be praying for your writing. I mean it, like right now.