And Now A Concubine

I flirt with my wife.  I flirt with my wife a lot, actually.  And lately I flirt with my wife a whole lot – enough that last night, as she was stirring some vegetables on the stove with my arms around her, she asked what my deal was.  Not in an annoyed sort of way but just asking, just making sure I hadn’t started taking Viagra or been listening to Barry White without telling her or something.  “No.” And then I told her for the umpteenth time everything I love about her. “And you’re gorgeous. That helps.”

“Or,” I said,” it might be because, um, I’ve kinda been thinking I’d like more kids and-”

“Go get a girlfriend,” she said with a straight face.

“Can I blog this?” I asked. “First you condone polygamy and now concubines?”

“Well,” she said scooping broccoli onto a child’s plate, “as long as I’m the main wife.”

And I’m not the brightest guy, I don’t pick up on subtlety real well, but I’m pretty sure that’s a “no” on the kid thing and a “yes” to fornication and that leaves me torn…I mean that would leave me torn if I was as morally ambiguous as my wife obviously is.  Pray for her poor soul.  Her poor gorgeous soul.