Shaun Groves
When “starving” is used by your kids at snack time. When “poor” describes someone who lives in 1500 square feet of suburban shelter. When your mom says she’s ready to get “jiggy with it.” This is semantic stretch – the overuse and/or misappropriation of a word to the point that it loses its original meaning – and sometimes all its meaning.
Take the word “authentic,” for example. Merriam says the authentic are not false or imitation but look around you and it’s hard not to notice the stretch. In the Christian corners of the blogosphere, for instance, authentic now means…
NO CARE
A blogger writes “I just blog for myself. I don’t care who reads. I don’t care how many read. I just don’t care.” A commenter responds “You’re so authentic.”
NO SHAME
A blogger confesses to strangers on-line that he’s cheating on his wife, or pirating music, or hates his mother. And he’s applauded for being “authentic.”
NO DIPLOMACY
A blogger “tells it like it is,” says “what no one else will say” without regard for the effectiveness or appropriateness of his words and attracts a fan base in love with his authenticity.
NO GOOD MOODS
A blogger who is down in the mouth, afraid, anxious, angry is far more likely to be called “authentic” than one who oozes rainbows and sunshine more often than not.
NO WISDOM
A blogger who isn’t an expert on anything, who tries desperately to be the average Joe next door, is admired for being the authentic everyman. (Bonus points for poor grammar and spelling.)
But what if…
I CARE
I care how many people read this blog, how many people link to this blog, because this blog is a tool with a purpose. It’s not a diary locked and hidden under my mattress. It’s not a closet with the door closed. It’s not a letter written only to my family in another state or old friends from high school. I’m out here talking in public for a reason. To say I don’t care would be inauthentic for me. I know better.
I’M ASHAMED
There are things I won’t tell you. They’re none of your business. We’re not family or best friends or real community (another word that’s being stretched I fear.) And to remove that boundary would be unhealthy for the both of us. To call you my community and confide in you as if you actually are would be inauthentic for me. I know better.
I’M (TRYING TO BE) DIPLOMATIC
I don’t like it when fights break out here and names get thrown around because of me. Sure, it’s bound to happen, but when it does I lose sleep, pray prayers, e-mail folks, apologize and clarify my poor communications. It’s my fault. To come here and behave as if conflict just happens because I’m so stinkin’ good at telling the truth would be inauthentic. I know better.
I’M HAVING A GOOD DAY
A lot. I post pictures of my kids, write stories about good meals, adore my wife, brag on good friends, share good days. This is life. The sun is actually shining most of the time in my world. And to post nothing but the angsty moments of struggle would be inauthentic. I know better.
I’M WISE
Not about much. But everyone – you too! – knows more than most people about something. I sometimes post about the theology of war, worship, the beatitudes, church history. I might post about song writing or blogging or Compassion. These are things I’ve researched, I enjoy learning about, I’ve spent hours trying to understand better. And if I came here after writing an article or teaching a seminar on these subjects and acted as if I didn’t know much about them, well, that’d be inauthentic. I know better.
Authenticity means being ourselves: Caring, ashamed and transparent, diplomatic, happy and sad, wise and questioning us. Being anything else is inauthentic. No matter what people say about us in the comments.
Mark says:
Thank you for being authentic.
And like you, I care about how many people read my stuff. I try not to (only because only a handful of friends have ever read my blog, and they’ve dropped off), but I really do.
Daniel says:
That was SO authentic
Shaun Groves says:
(I knew that was coming.)
Tiffany says:
well said Shaun
boomama says:
Thanks for this. Really.
West says:
grrrrrrrrrrr……you know….my wife and I just talked about this recently. I pulled it private for a couple of days….put it back up because I like writing. I had been trying to be authentic, but was just lying to myself and everyone around me. I didn’t say much about the actual problems or symptoms of the main issue (honesty issues), but there is a ton of shame but not much integrity in changing.
The integrity part is changing and I just wanted to thank you for that tough to swallow kick in the groin….I wanted to just click off the blog, but I felt I HAD to finish reading…..
Later!
Seth Ward says:
I’ve got this Lewis quote taped to the wall next to my monitor. It helps me to stay “authentic” in all creative endeavors. I’m sure you’ve read it a couple hundred times:
“If you are interested in the country only for the sake of painting it, you’ll never learn to see the country… Light itself was your first love: you loved paint only as a means of telling about light…
Every poet and musician and artist, but for Grace, is drawn away from love of the thing he tells, to love of the telling till, down in Deep Hell, they cannot be interested in God at all but only in what they say about Him.”
I think you’ve got a good balance going here.
Compassion dave says:
I would add the word “GOOD” to the list. If the Bible says only ‘God is good’then how dare we use the word to describe ‘anything and everything’. Seriously, I am making an effort to use more appropriate verbage when I am inclined to say, “That was some ‘good’ hamburger-helper honey!”
On another note, I am on a mission to reclaim the word ‘gay’ and other such words that have been hijacked in the last 50 years.
(*I feel much better now–thanx)
cd
http://compassiondave.wordpress.com/
Alli Rogers says:
Hey Shaun,
I’m new to the world of blogging and appreciate your approach, as you make clear in posts like this one. And I will also take to heart what is said in the previous post about blogging. Thanks!
-Alli
Rachel says:
In a word…
Wow.
Thank you, Shaun. This was a needed reality check.
steven.russell says:
I don’t think people that blog start blogging to “get readers” or “increase their stats.”
Somewhere along the way that becomes important. The desire to sit at the cool blog table with the cool blog people.
I struggle with it. And I hate it. I prefer to just get back to the basics of blogging. Doing it for the love of writing and freeing the thoughts from bouncing around in my head.
Randy says:
I often say that many people who are known for “keeping it real” are just using that as an excuse to keep it rude…or crass.
Many times authenticity just is… it doesn’t always have to be explained.
Grovesfan says:
Thanks Shaun.
At the risk of being labeled “authentic,” I admit I hope my blog readership will grow. Partly because I hope some people might value what I have to say or perhaps even learn from it. Partly because I hope to get to be an awesomely cool, Compassion Blogger one day. Mostly though, I hope I will LEARN from those who comment, or maybe even from those who don’t.
Beth
annie says:
There are things you don’t tell us?
Linda Sue says:
You have given us a real community experience a place to come together and share! I dislike those who want to be truly unique – if you are unique – it doesn’t work to add something to the word. Either one is or is not unique. Whew – another load off my aging back! Good post Brother Shaun, I wondered a while back why everyone wanted to link – now I understand about ratings. It’s all good (sorry Compassion Dave – but we have to be able to use that word along with gay).
keith says:
I really want to blog. Stuff keeps popping into my head, and I think, “Dude, I could blog about that.” One of the reasons I haven’t yet is that I don’t have a purpose other than I find myself amusing, but the last thing I need to do is waste time giving other people a way to wast time.
On the other hand, your purpose here is good and it is having good effects on your readers. It’s been one of the many agents of change in my life. It’s slow but working.
Billy Chia says:
I love it man. Great call.
I always see a lot of “very authentic” comments on posts that just make me squirm with TMI.
Actually someone recently called me “very authentic.” I took it as a put down and that I needed to be more guarded with the personal information I share.
Don says:
Very authentic post.
Combine the overused word ‘Authentic’ with my other favorite used work, ‘Community’ (which you touch on), and I’ll turn into one of those ‘no good mood’ people that you talked about.
Words can turn into something shallow after a while, especially if there is not true action on the part of the person speaking them.
Carole Turner says:
Love it!
I authenticly have a spelling and grammer problem but I wish I didn’t. It comes from my authentic Redneck education.
Blog on!
alan says:
What was this post about? Sorry I couldn’t get past the “When your mom says she’s ready to get “jiggy with it”” line. Scarey thought. I did read the entire post though. Good position you throw out there to take a look at this from Shaun.
john in colorado says:
i think this post is a stretch and for some reason it is irritating to me. it feels preachy on issues of personality and style. i might be missing the heart of your post. i’m not sure if are you defending your posting and personality style or trying to change the style of others. can you clarify?
i agree with steven russell and his “cool blog” statement. we have what i call a “rockstar blogger” movement going on. in some instances it shows up when people are asking, “what can i do to get more people to read my blog?” “what should i post to get more people to read my blog?” that would not be too authentic.
i do think people are being authentic (not false or imitation) when they write what they want to write and what is on their heart. also, i believe most bloggers want to be read and have some sort of following. when these two are combined, our blogging hope is that people will actually like to read our authentic thoughts and thus we will gain something…. acceptance? love? worth? influence? popularity?
i wonder if i am missing the point. i’ve done that plenty of times before…(being authentic)
Randy says:
@Carole – ::: laughing ::: I am thirty nine years old and STILL can’t get my ‘to’ and ‘too’ usage down right! Some “every”men and women just… are authentically bad at grammur
@John in Colorado – I am a newbie at this blog so I didn’t really want to get into my own discomfort with the post. Then you kind of hit on it. I reread the post to honestly look at if I might be irritated because it was calling me on the carpat for some reason that I didn’t consciously register yet.
There were a few things that did stand out to me like, yeah… I struggle with that as a blogger. So some of the irritation was definitely personal conviction.
Another part of me got hung up on the statement, “I care how many people read this blog, how many people link to this blog, because this blog is a tool with a purpose.” and emphasis on purpose.
I have been on the blogosphere since 2002 and find that many many Christians have many many purposes for their blog and some of it is completely different than what you would expect from a Christian blog. Some is mundane and some is that they are afraid of face to face and it’s the only way they know to work out their stuff.
The blogosphere is very authentically human … a complete lovable mess as a whole.
When I say that stuck out to me it’s not like I don’t like Shaun’s perspective. I completely understand it. But the tone sounded like if you don’t share the same purpose you are not as authentic as you claim. Please correct me if I am wrong.
I do really enjoy this “Shlog” and it is one in my google reader that I actually click through to visit
. Ok, that’s enough.
Shaun Groves says:
But the tone sounded like if you don’t share the same purpose you are not as authentic as you claim. Please correct me if I am wrong.
You’re wrong Hey, you asked me to correct you if you were wrong ; ) ). I never said that. Which is a whole post on it’s own: our tendency (mine too) to attribute meaning (for a whole host of reasons) where none exists. The words on your screen are all there are. No need to add more. Please.
This blog has many purposes – most of them coming back to Compassion International by way of some circuitous route. If your purpose – and we all have one – for writing is to work out your issues, to exercise your creativity, to set goals the public will hold you to, to teach a subject you know well, to amuse your friends – all that’s great. I affirm that. You don’t have to be me. I don’t want that. be you. That’s the point of all this. Sorry for not making that clearer.
Which brings me to John in Colorado’s question about the purpose of this post.
I’m not trying to change your style of blogging (Exception: Sharing stuff that’s way too crass and personal to be healthy for blogger or reader.) I am, partly, defending my style as authentic – it’s me being me. I’m reminding myself and my readers that being authentic does not mean being moody, critical, argumentative, crass, aloof or non-expert. It means being myself.
So the takeaway, if I had to reduce it all down to two points, is this, John: 1)Be you. Do that, and no matter how authentic or not others believe you to be you will in fact be authentic. 2)And please don’t assume someone is being inauthentic because they are happier sounding, less transparent, less controversial, or more stat conscious than you. That might actually be who they really are.
A great example: My new friend Sophie (http://www.boomama.net) is exactly off-screen who she is on-screen. And she’s not gonna tell you about her marriage problems (she’ll tell someone, but not you and me). She’s not gonna pick a fight, and, in fact, I get the impression that if one broke out on her blog it would really bother her. She’s genuinely content and happy and seriously one of the funniest human beings I’ve ever known. That’s her. And that’s none of the things that often (not always) get labeled as “authentic” in the blogosphere. But she is authentic. One of the most authentic you’ll ever meet. No angst. No doom and gloom. Nothing crass and private being revealed. No controversy. Just 100% Sophie. And I love that.
You don’t have to be Sophie. Just be John. And I’ll be Shaun. And who cares what people call us? (Well, I do, obviously, but you get the point…)
Is that clearer now, John?
Cali Amy says:
I have to say Compassion Dave…I had a youth pastor who had the same thoughts about good. He said it was better to say a movie was entertaining than good. it’s funny…I still catch myself ten years later if I say a movie or tv show or book is good and feel slightly guilty.
Linda Sue says:
In talking about Shaun’s tone – I’m no musician so I believe I might be tone deaf – didn’t pick up any of that stuff previously mentioned. To paraphrase Rodney King – “can’t we all just believe we are authentic people” Compassion Dave and Cali Amy – there is a post Stuff Christians Like number 78 the Christian f word that is a hoot – I am guilty of using fine instead of words describing actual feelings or situations.
Shaun – thanks for affirming that Sophie is truly the BooMama – rare and delicate flower of southern womanhood – oh yeah!
john in colorado says:
i think i’ve got it. you (shaun) think people should write however they want to write and express who they are in whatever way they want to express it. and…let’s don’t slap an “inauthentic” label on someone because they don’t think the same way you (generic) do.
pretty simple points if i’ve got it straight now.
are you sure you weren’t taking just a little swipe at the first group you described? your use of language makes me feel that way.
Randy says:
I am sorry if I offended you. I was trying not to add words so that is why I said please correct me if I am wrong.
Thanks for correcting me.
Shaun Groves says:
Not offended at all, Randy. Thanks for the opportunity to clarify. I’m sure you’re not the only one…
Yes, John, that’s the point. Thanks for asking. No, no swipe at those bloggers.* Yes, a swipe was intended to those commenters or fans who label them authentic based solely on their posting something like what I described.
I’ve been called authentic for arguably lame reasons (because I said I was depressed? Why not when I said I was ecstatic?) Not my fault when it happens? It’s the labeler’s fault.
*[Edit: After posting this comment I realized that statement’s not exactly true. I was taking a “swipe” at the practice of being crass and/or sharing way too much personal info. That’s not healthy for reader or blogger, IMO. Folks surely don’t always do this to be authentic but when/if they do it’s off-base. And I was taking a “swipe” at the practice of stirring the pot for authenticity’s sake as well. So, yea, I lied. Sorry. I didn’t really ponder the question too long before answering. I WAS taking a swipe at those two practices. But at no person in particular.)
Sarah Chia says:
Cool, Shaun.
I’m happy to see someone with a big voice writing about this. When I write this kind of thing, my husband and mom are the only ones that read it.
I’m hoping your post can expand the definition of “authentic” for some people.
boomama says:
Aw. Thanks for that, Shaw-awn. Right back atcha.
I wrestle with all of this stuff a lot, especially b/c I think that sometimes people get some false perception of who I am because I write a fairly upbeat blog. But are there parts of my life that are decidedly un-fun? Absolutely. Are there areas of my life where I’m unhappy? Absolutely. And I definitely talk about those things, work through those things – I just opt not to talk and work through those things with the internet.
Perhaps I’ll follow your lead and write a Very Authentic Post about all of this stuff sometime soon.
Also: feel free to dispel Linda Sue’s “delicate flower” perception. Really. It won’t hurt my feelings one bit.
Los says:
Yea. I think blogs will never allow you to see the true side of the writer as long as there is a reader. The reader chooses what tone, attitude, and point the author is making.
Like what has happened here.
Knowing Shaun, I can read this and see Shaun saying it. Therefor no amount of “swiping” was seen. But for those who do not know the person, cannot hear their voice in their head, a choice has to be made as to tone. And half the time it is wrong.
Cali Amy says:
I was thinking about this later for some reason, and I think maybe people comment on posts when someone is down or depressed as being authentic because because so often we try to portray a “everything is great” in the world mentality.
andira says:
Shaun, I like the way you put all of that. Well said!
Dreamer says:
You know… a lot of people would disagree with words being JUST words. Yes, the letters only add up to simple things but as a whole they have…umm… depth. If you are a pessimist (please ignore my undefendable spelling/grammer) and it helps you to feel a little better with venting your anger on a blog, by all means go ahead! Well, that’s my personal opionion.
I have a blog but I can’t say it has a purpose other than to ramble on and get opionions for stories. And yeah, I mean, I still care if people look at it. Why? Mainly because I’m trying to find a way to bring a very Christian perspective into a complete utter FANTASY! If anyone has any idea, what so ever, as to how you combine elves, magic, good vs evil, and Christ, I would appreciate it!
Anyhow… back to the topic. Some people’s way to be authentic is to be very vauge(I don’t know how to spell that, I hope you can figure out what I ment) because the internet isn’t totally safe. I know people (me included) who have blogs where the most personal thing they say is what book they just read.
P.S. This may sound false and that I’m just trying to be noticed but I love this blog. It’s the best I know. And believe me when I’m saying that I’m NOT lying!
