Shaun Groves
A few years ago in El Salvador I saw real poverty for the first time. At the end of the week we gathered just off the hotel lobby, circled up in metal folding chairs, and talked about how we were feeling. Diving so far, so quickly, into poverty can nearly drown the heart and mind of an affluent American and so this is the standard way of ending a Compassion International “vision trip.” Depressurizing a little in a group before the plane ride home is safer for the soul than being yanked to the surface alone by the sights and sounds of the O’ Hare food court.
When it was my turn to talk about my feelings all I felt was insignificance and so I vomited that emotion up everywhere. (With a lot more words) I said just didn’t care anymore.
About what? About what color we paint the den. About whether my song is climbing the charts. About who the president is. About the gig next week. About what kind of cheese I can get on my Subway sandwich. About seeing that new movie. About that new laptop I wanted. About telling the interviewer what kind of animal I’d like to be. About mowing the yard.
I just didn’t care anymore. It didn’t feel significant – none of it – not standing back to back with feeding kids, teaching them to read, giving them life-saving medicine, teaching their moms how to sew, telling them they matter to God and to me. Nothing in my whole life back home seemed as significant as my week in El Salvador with Compassion International. Nothing.
I changed my job, politics, theology, church, closet, free time, budget, house, parenting, show. I sought, and am still seeking, to make my life here in America as significant as one week in El Salvador.
I tell you all this because it’s time now for the Uganda bloggers to fight the same kinds of emotions and weigh the same kinds of life changes. So, if you’re part of their life, try to understand they’re quite possibly morphing into something else. And pray that it’s something significant. Pray that we’re not so wrecked that we’re poor teachers, poor communicators and friends, repellant to those we desperately want to introduce to the children and God we’ve fallen in love with.
Pray for…
Shannon
Sophie
Doug
Phil
Anne
Chris
Randy
Heather
Carlos
David
Carisa says:
This is exactly what I have been praying for for all of them. I have followed a few of the blogs (including yours) throughout this process and have watched them change. Our short term trip wrecked me(us-my husband too) too. 6 months after our trip we left it all and became full time missionaries in the inner city of America. We’ve been here 4 years now and although it’s hard I would never trade it for the life we once had in the suburban south.
It was hard for our family and friends who weren’t on our trip to understand what we were thinking, feeling, and eventually doing.
God wrecking our home is the best thing that ever happened to me. I pray that each of these people can make it through this and become beautiful servants for the Lord.
God Bless,
Carisa
Linda Sue says:
Glad you gave your readers a heads up about this – David Kuo seems to be really hitting the wall right about now. Sounds like several of you had stowaways – praise the Lord for antibiotics! Thanks for your honesty – the other bloggers seem to be dealing with things in their own way – some less painfully than others. But that old corporate phrase about paradigm shifting – yep – y’all got that in spades didn’t you?
Bush says:
great word shaun. i’m still trying to adjust after my trip to ethiopia & peru. i don’t think i’m moving quick enough when it comes to changing my ways though. i talk a big game sometimes…but when it comes time for actions that’s when i feel like i am my weakest.
aaron ivey says:
so true man. my compassion trip to Peru has messed up my life. in a good way.
Jai says:
Still praying for you and ALL the bloggers. I am also praying for GOOD changes for all of you and that the new bloggers won’t hit a wall …
Rocks In My Dryer says:
No words. Just nodding. And thanking you.
Amy says:
In all my years of mission trips as a youth, I honestly never opened up to God’s ability to use them to change me. They’d become a chance to soak up some sun and get a t-shirt. Up until y’all went to and blogged about Uganda, I hadn’t allowed myself to feel anything for anyone other than myself and those closest to me. As a Christian, that realization sucks. And, b/c I’ve lived in such a superficial Christian bubble for so long, I can tell those around me are struggling with my attempt at change. I’m praying for sure!
Stretch Mark Mama says:
Well written.
I’ve walked down that path, felt the tossing of everything I thought was “right” and “good,” and ended up in a place that has simply shocked my family and friends.
(But not my God.)
whittakerwoman says:
Thanks Shawn, I look to you in all of this and admired all you have done! I can’t wait to write this post on my life and how I changed! H
Spinster-in-the-Making says:
I went on a mission trip to Manila, Philippines my senior year of HS. I actually went by myself and stayed with a missionary family. I wish I’d had someone in my life at that time who could’ve taught me how to decompress all that I saw and learned. I think the trip, even though it was amazing, might’ve impacted me differently if I’d known how to work through my thoughts and feelings. All that said, I like this post. Thanks.
Holly Smith says:
Wow. Yeah. I’m praying. for each one. In fact, I confess, I prayed it before the trip, too. Come on in LORD and shake our world up until the only one left significant is You.
Thank you Shaun for being a display of His splendor. You have the power to tell and share…and the multiplication of His works through others’ hands is staggering. Keep on telling.
Blessings and prayer,
holly
Pam says:
Thanks Shaun for your thoughts. I just moved back to the USA after living and working for two years in a slum in east africa. I don’t yet know how to begin living as an American, or how to find my place in this crazy land. Decompressing is a challenge and very much necessary, I am finding myself incredibly grateful for people who have been there and done it and can listen so intently. Praying for the Uganda bloggers!
anne jackson says:
as a uganda blogger, thank you so much everyone for your prayers. they are much needed and much appreciated.
Grovesfan says:
Been praying for all of you as you try to work though all you’ve experienced. It is my prayer that God’s glory will be known through all of your experiences.
Beth