Shaun Groves
[This won’t be short. I’m not a gifted enough writer to say all this with fewer words. My apologies.]
A pastor just asked me not to speak about Compassion International at his church. I won’t name the pastor, the city, the church or the denomination. None of these matter and I’m not out to harm anyone. This is a colossal case of “there must be more to this story” (I hope there’s more to this story) and I just don’t know what that is. What I know is this.
Our “free” contracts clearly state that I play for free in exchange for the opportunity to speak about Compassion International – even if a donation is made to me I still speak about Compassion. This church didn’t want a concert but wanted me to sing in their services, to “lead worship.” A few weeks out from the services the church asked if I’d not only play in their four services but also play a concert. Of course, we thought, even more people to present Compassion to. Why wouldn’t we do that. And that expectation of ours was made clear to the church contact: One concert, some church services, for free, I talk about Compassion every time I sing. Deal? Deal.
Two weeks out we get an e-mail asking me not to sing my own music at the services. Attached was a list of familiar songs I could choose from. Not something I usually do, just because I don’t know other peoples’ songs any more, but I agreed. If I have to play Chris Tomlin songs to present Compassion International to multiple services full of people I’ll do it. A little late notice but absolutely.
It’s concert time. No posters hung up around the church, no advertising on the local radio station’s web site. The church activities calendar was posted around the place and guess what? No concert on it. There were about sixty people at the concert, from a church of thousands. 15 kids were sponsored. But the rest of those thousands would be at the church services and I was excited to share Compassion with them.
Before the first service I was told the rules: Ask everyone to stand for the first two songs, sit for the third and stand for the fourth, and don’t speak about Compassion. I was to only mention that I was touring these days for Compassion. I was told to let the pastor give an appeal to sponsor kids. I thought, well, that’s even better. People trust their pastor and if he gets behind Compassion they’ll get behind it and loads of kids get sponsired. Sounds ideal.
I played my Tomlin, I said I was touring on behalf of Compassion International and said “I would love to see you out at the table after the service to answer any questions you might have about what they do”, and sat down. Pastor got up, prayed about how he wanted the kingdom to come, made some announcements and said, I’m almost quoting here, “I used to sponsor a child through Compassion International for years but then I decide to get more hands on and involved in God’s work. That’s why we started building our own orphanage in El Salvador. But Compassion is here this morning if you’re not ready for that, if you’d be interested in sponsoring a child in the third world. They’re a great organization.”
That’s it. That’s all. No explanation that “Compassion” is “Compassion International.” No mention of what they do or what it costs to sponsor. 4 kids were sponsored from that lackluster appeal to about 400 people on behalf of the more than 100,000 unsponsored children in 24 countries.
Before the next service I decided to step it up and say more about Compassion. I couldn’t let such a tremendous opportunity go by untapped. Brody agreed more should be said as well. But a messenger from the pastor joined us for a pre-servcie snack just then and said, “The pastor would like you to tone it down a little more and just let him slam dunk Compassion for you.”
“Like he ‘slam dunked’ it in the last service?” I asked rhetorically and with an immature amount of snarkiness I admit. Awkward pause.
“Well, he’s concern about people coming to church and feeling hit up for something.”
“Something like taking care of the poor? He’s afraid of that?” I asked. His faced turned red, I felt bad for him, but he stuck to his guns.
We prayed. I confessed that I was having a hard time obeying this pastor. I was torn between two commands of God. The first is to speak for the poor and the second is to submit to this pastor’s authority. What if authority won’t speak for the poor? I was stuck and irritated, sure that there was more to this story than I was being told. Had Compassion made this pastor angry at some point in the past? Did he have a bad experience with an artist speaking in his church before? Even if either of these were true, I reasoned, there’s no excuse for making a deal you don’t intend to keep. And there’s no reason we couldn’t talk about those issues and agree on some middle ground. Maybe the pastor didn’t see the contract, didn’t know the arrangement until I arrived. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt but I still had a choice to make: obey the pastor or obey my own promise to Compassion and my own compulsion to speak for them.
I gave the pastor one more shot, thinking maybe the messenger would relay my “concerns” to him and he’d step it up a bit. He didn’t. 4 more kids were sponsored from an even larger crowd of hearers on that go around.
I prayed and Brody and I talked some more about what we should do. Then I remembered a passage Brian once taught on in Galatians. In Galatians 2 Paul was sent out by the leaders of the early church (John, Peter, Barnabus) to preach to the non-Jews and he was given only ONE command by them: remember the poor.
It was his inauguration as a leader in the early church, the day he was sent out to make disciples all over greece and asia, the future of the Church might have depended on that moment, and what was he commanded to do as he left town? Build stuff? Do communion this way or that? Immerse or sprinkle? Form a denomination? Write a creed? Four songs and then preach? Sunday school? Elect deacons? Appoint elders? Start a seminary? No. Only one command was given: remember the poor.
The poor he was to remember were fellow Christians in Jerusalem who had lost jobs and property due to persecution but the point, I think, carries over. The poor I care about are churches in the third world who don’t have the means to meet needs in their own neighborhoods. Paul had a “calling” to preach the “gospel” but a command not to forget the poor. And he didn’t. He was “eager” to remember them. Everywhere Paul went he preached or debated or argued or reasoned but he always took up a collection for the poor in Jerusalem. He found a way to work it into what he did because he was commanded to do so, it mattered to God and God’s people and God’s work depended on it.
For whatever reason – I don’t know – this pastor didn’t want Compassion International talked about in his services and he wouldn’t talk to me about those reasons. All that’s between him and Compassion. They’ll deal with it soon I’m sure and mend any fences that need it. For my part though I decided to do my job and ignore his instruction regardless of those issues. But I only half did it. I talked for two minutes in the next two services, no more, about what Compassion does. I thanked the church and the pastor for already caring about the poor enough to build an orphanage and for inviting me to speak to them about other needs in the third world. And I asked them to consider sponsoring a child as an act of worship, as a way of putting into practice the love for God we were singing about together. No passing out sponsorship packets, no personal story or pictures or ten minute speech that I usually give.
In those last two services, when the poor were spoken for, 29 kids were rescued from poverty an hour later at the conclusion of the services. I don’t know what this pastor’s issues were. But I wonder: Were they worth keeping 29 kids from being saved from poverty? Because they almost did.
And I wonder about the kids who weren’t sponsored. 29 more kids could have been sponsored in the two services he “slam dunked” for me, when I didn’t do what I was commanded to do. Never again.
If you’re a promoter or a pastor at a church I’m coming to in the future I want you to know that we’re a team, you and I. I’ll gladly work with you on how to best represent Compassion International to your audience within your program and your faith tradition but I will not be silent. I love the Church and I love ministering in the church but if the church gets in the way of the command again I know now which I’ll choose to obey. This is non-negotiable, it is the reason I leave town every weekend, and it’s in the contract.
And if you’re out there thinking this pastor was wrong, there’s no need to bash him in the comments of this post. Most people would think this guy was wrong, that’s no surprise that needs sharing. So maybe we can talk about other instances in which two commands of God seem to contradict each other, or how your church has incorporated remembering the poor into their services or activities, or how you remember the poor through your work or life. It’s easy to be upset with a guy who put his own agenda before the poor, it’s much harder to examine ourselves and see how we do the same thing. Remember the poor.
Cali Amy says:
Shaun,
Thank you for such a well written and thoughtful post.
Once I had a boss that constantly wanted me to lie for her. it was a hard situation, because I needed the job and also because I am the worst liar in the world. I just feel so guilty that I can’t pull it off. I can’t play that card game BS and win. I grew resentful because I wanted to have integrity in my work and be in a job where such a thing wasn’t asked of me. I’m sure there are others who wouldn’t have had a problem with it, it’s not like it was lying over major things, but it just made me so uncomfortable. I wish I could say I always stuck to my guns but I didn’t. I really respect how you handled the situation.
Come to think of it, there’s always a sort of tug-of-war in my education jobs as well. Money often keeps the students from getting what I think would be in their absolute best interest. But that is not such a big problem at the moment. Anyway, none of this has anything to do with the poor. I remember the poor by sponsoring, writing to, and loving with all of my heart three children in Compassion International programs. And I forget them by buying things I don’t need instead of really sitting down and budgeting a way to sponsor a fourth.
Noelle says:
Wow, not necessarily about the preacher, but wow about the concern for the poor. I work with college students, and we joke about being poor, but yet not too many of us, if any, really have the guts to be truly concerned about those who are. Thanks for the challenge.
P.S Thanks for that last paragraph. I appreciated the fact that the time and consideration was taken to make sure he wasn’t slammed and to remember that we are like him in so many ways.
Brant says:
In the Jewish synagogues, Paul got to preach because everyone was allowed to say what was on their mind. His message was a Christian one, but it was so ingrained that people be allowed to speak, they tried to figure out how to stop him.
And then Paul gives us instructions for worship that explicitly tell us to allow everyone to bring something for the worship gathering.
But this guy—whether he understands the Compassion contract or not—could stop you from speaking your heart about the poor. And that system goes unchallenged in thousands of churches, but the good news is—not for long.
It’s starting to dawn on people that’s not the way the Kingdom works, not what the church is, not right, and, historically speaking, for those who can’t allow themselves to see it coming, revolutions happen very quickly.
Anon says:
Thank you.
I’ve never really had a difficult decision to make between two commands (that I can remember at least), but I’m glad you gave yourself for the poor, and I hope that if I am faced with such a situation, I can come out strong.
Grovesfan says:
My father was a very passionate Gideon. He loved to go to churches and talk about Bible distribution, etc. Our very own church wouldn’t allow him to give that talk because our pastor had been previously offended by one presentation years before. Never mind that he and my father were very good friends and my dad was chairman of the deacon board. No Gideon talk allowed. He could put out the little card stands, but that was it.
I’m glad you chose the poor and also glad that you chose not to ridicule the pastor or try to “shame” him into anything. It would’ve been very easy to do just that and even feel “justified” in doing-so, but you took the high road and left a much better impression of yourself, Compassion and Jesus.
Thanks brother.
Beth
Scott says:
I don’t know that I could have handled myself as well as you did. You are definitely a gentleman.
As for the two opposing commands….
I am a youth pastor. Thanks to an aggressive van ministry, 90% of our kids are from unchurched families in “rough” neighborhoods.
It’s hard to tell them to obey & honor their parents, when some of their parents are so very very wicked.
Shaun Groves says:
Scott, the truth is on the inside I was anything but gentle. At times I was not at all meek, I was angry, cursed this man in my mind, and wanted to let his church know what was happening behind the scenes when I was on the microphone. One more reason not to travel alone. It’s harder to be a jerk when you’ve got a friend watching you…even when that friend’s angry too.
Wow, and what a tough spot those kids are in, Scott. How do you deal with that issue of obeying parents when it comes up? What if the parents say, “Don’t hang out with Scott.” What then?
aaron ivey says:
dude, thanks so much for sharing this story… and thanks for sticking to your mission and speaking for those in need.
Scott says:
“How do you deal with that issue of obeying parents when it comes up? What if the parents say, “Don’t hang out with Scott.” What then?”
The problem with “obeying” doesn’t come up as often or is as hard to deal with as the problem of “honoring”…. When Mom is a “pit stop” for long-haul truckers and you’ve lived in 12 trailers in 6 months….. there ain’t much direction to disobey, but you’ll have a tough time mustering up honor or respect.
I tell them that God knows their parents (often using that term loosely and in the singular form) and that it is no accident that they are in the position that they are in. He wrote the law for them as much as He did for someone whose parents seem to deserve honor. His command stands, despite their quandry.
Here’s some scripture….
Zec 11:15 And Jehovah said to me, Take to yourself yet the instruments of a foolish shepherd.
Zec 11:16 For lo, I will raise up a shepherd in the land who will not care for those going to ruin, nor will he seek the young, nor will heal that which is broken, nor will he feed that which stands. But he shall eat the flesh of the fat and tear off their hoofs.
Zec 11:17 Woe to the worthless shepherd who abandons the flock! The sword shall be on his arm and on his right eye; his arm shall be completely dried up, and his right eye shall be utterly darkened.
steven.russell says:
We should also be lifting up in prayer the Compassion kids being affected by Hurricane Felix. I know i have kept an eye on where the storm made landfall because my child (Chrisnan) lives in Santa Rosa de Copan.
And he is not alone. Many compassion kids are in the path of this storm.
todd says:
Like everybody else, I think you handled yourself well, Shaun.
I’d also like to thank you for the great ending on the post. I was truly impressed at your encouragement for your readers to truly “discuss” (as much as can be done on a blog) rather than slam this pastor.
Great job (on the gig AND the post.)
Jonathan Rundman says:
Hey Shaun!
Love your blog. Regarding this issue with the Pastor and your work with Compassion: I think you just need to chill out about it.
Now, if he indeed told you to not say a word about CI, and then said nothing about it himself, then you’d at least have the right to be ticked off personally. BUT, the Pastor himself mentioned Compassion and even said “they’re a great organization.” It might not have been as effective a description of their work that you could have given, BUT hey, he gave it his stamp of approval in front of the whole congregation.
I know you’ve got it written in your contract and everything, but it seems to me that once you’re at the gig, and everything is rolling, whatever the “booker” or pastor or event director or whoever tells you to do, your job is to do it. If you’re unhappy how things went, then you have the right to never play music there again, and you can even tell your musical pals to not take the gig. BUT, once you’re there, I think the best thing to do is to smile, and meet the needs of that congregation (within reason, of course…no sacrificing small animals or whatever).
Who knows their history with traveling ministry folks: maybe in the past the congregation got hoodwinked or spiritually manipulated by some guest speaker/artist, and now a lot of folks are suspicious of such things. The Pastor knows his flock, and your job is to trust his judgment about how stuff is presented to them.
And all your worries about numbers of Compassion kids….”it could have been 29 more!” etc. Shaun, this kind of stuff is God’s business. Just do your job well, meet each congregation where they’re at, and trust that God will utilize the things you say and do. Lean on the everlasting arms, man. And don’t worry about if this guy is “putting his own agenda before the poor”…that, too, is God’s problem to deal with…and what do we know anyway about his ministry to the poor? Maybe the orphanage in El Salvador is doing such amazing work that if you knew the details you’d drop CI in favor of promoting his orphanage on your tours. Every church is different, every congregation has different ways of serving the world that is the best for them. The leg cannot say to the face “I don’t need you” etc. I say, keep your fingers crossed, smile, sing, and hope that God is at work in that place.
I recall an earlier post where you wrote something about how the music stuff isn’t really doing it for you anymore, and your work for Compassion is the only reason you still hit the road. Maybe you could go out and be a speaker for CI, do a powerpoint presentation or whatever…or heck, get a job at CI….and leave the guitar at home.
Yes, I know you specify CI all over in your contract, but really, these churches are booking you to be a musician. They might SAY they’re all about CI, and want to support you in that (and that may be so), but chances are that most leaders, bookers, and audience members want you there for the music. So be a great musician….play your songs, and talk about Compassion when it’s appropriate for the situation.
And like I said: you can choose to never go back there again! Chalk it up as one of those rare gigs where you had an issue with the pastor, and move on to better things…
Jonathan
MamasBoy says:
The guy was breaking the contract and was avoiding talking to you directly about it. Assuming he knew what he was doing, that was not just deceitful, but manipulative to send a lackey to do his dirty work. I would think that an extended announcement would be in order, at least until he decided that it was worth talking about it with you in person. I’m a hardass about things like contracts, though, especially with people who have already asked me to bend over backwards and don’t seem to be wanting to give anything in return. For better or worse, I typically don’t just turn the other cheek and let people push me around. Perhaps, I should?
At least the threat of sticking to the letter of the contract would have got you a hearing with the guy and maybe an explanation of what was going on. It sounds like you still don’t know.
MB
MamasBoy says:
I just reread the last line. Oops I focused on the pastor. Honestly, though, his project may be as effective as compassion long term. Who knows? I personally doubt it will be given Compassions track record and the assumed character of this fellow, but which of us can be 100% sure on that point? So, assuming his assumptions are correct, there is nothing wrong with him trying to emphasize his own project to help release children from poverty at Compassion International’s expense. In his view, he could be just helping the poor in another way that was perhaps better for his own congregation, since it had the potential to involve group trips and could potentially stretch them right now financially if they want to pull of building and running a class act orphanage for a large number of kids (maybe more than 100). There is certainly a need for good orphanages around the world. Both seem like potentially good projects to me.
I’m not sure the problem was a matter of obeying man vs. obeying God as much as a simple matter of contract violation, pushing you around, not being upfront and wasting your (limited) time since promoting Compassion is your own personal mission, written into the contract and he was asking for your time (gratis) when you have lots of other things to do (like writing a book) and other places you could be (like at home with your kids). No authority has the right to push people around and violate contracts without proper notice. The projects concepts are equal in merit in my mind and I have no problem with his request at face value. In my mind, he missed an opportunity to introduce you to a another potentially equally worthy ministry to the poor.
MB
Tim says:
I think I thought I might have read something somewhere in that bible thing that some God guy wants us to read some such thing about speaking the truth in love. Amen to you brother for standing up for what God has placed on your heart.
Often times in ministry we are faced with situations (perhaps not quite as dramatic as this one) where what we stand for, or what God commands us to stand for, are put face to face with someone’s personal opinion or reservations. It’s a conflict. You don’t want to make anyone mad or stomp on toes because that flies in the face of what the bible tells us to do as well – something about loving our brothers, even something about loving our enemies.
But at the end of the day, the only One we have to stand face to face with and answer to is God. I don’t want to be standing there saying, “well, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I just kind of bottled out of what you told me to tell them” – I’d rather do something that might hurt their feelings and ask God for forgiveness than just not follow a command from God.
Amen Shaun.
Scott says:
It is difficult for me not to respond to one of the above posts. My initial reaction is to go into “argument mode”. However, I know that such argument would be fruitless and thus a waste of time.
Shaun,
I know you how important the blog is, but do you ever just want to turn off the unsolicited and occassionally ignorant advice?