Shaun Groves
Mother Teresa didn’t want her private letters and prayers to be published. She wanted them burned, afraid people might make much of her and, in the process, make less of Jesus. But they’re being published. You may have heard the buzz: Mother Teresa was human.
Or, to take the headline out of TIME Magazine‘s vernacular and translate it into the language of her faith: Mother Teresa was poor in spirit, believing that alone, apart from God, she was nothing. She mourned, her own weakness and shortcomings and that of the entire world. She was meek, convinced of her need for God, obedient as a formerly wild animal tamed and guided with a bit in its mouth. She hungered for righteousness, wanting to be more than she was, wanting to be Jesus somehow, to be “His light” in the darkest place on earth. She was human, feeling scared, alone, depressed, and forgotten, constantly aware that she couldn’t be in reality what the much of the public assumed she was. Regardless of how she felt or thought, she showed mercy, remained pure in her focus, and brought a little peace to her corner of earth.
The news flash is really this then, I think: “Infinite, complete, self-sufficiant, all-powerful God squeezes Himself into and through tainted and fragile flesh and bone every day whether we feel or notice Him or not.
Mother Teresa wrote…
“Tell me, Father, why is there so much pain and darkness in my soul?”
-Mother Teresa to the Rev. Lawrence Picachy, August 1959“Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The Child of your Love — and now become as the most hated one — the one — You have thrown away as unwanted — unloved. I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone … Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. Did I make a mistake in surrendering blindly to the Call of the Sacred Heart?”
-Letter from Mother Teresa addressed to Jesus, at the suggestion of a confessor, undated“Jesus, my own Jesus — I am only Thine — I am so stupid — I do not know what to say but do with me whatever You wish — as You wish — as long as you wish.”
-Letter from Mother Teresa to Jesus January 1947“Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear.”
-Mother Teresa to the Rev. Michael Van Der Peet, September 1979“The smile is a mask, a cloak that covers everything.”
-Mother Teresa 1959“I spoke as if my very heart was in love with God — tender, personal love. If you were [there], you would have said, ‘What hypocrisy.’”
-Mother Teresa in a letter to an adviser after receiving the Nobel Peace Prize
Brandy Campbell says:
Shaun, I’m actually in the process of formulating my own blog addressing this article about Mother Teresa. But my first thought was, how could you not feel a “darkness in my soul” while surrounded by the darkness that covers Calcutta.
While it makes me angry that these private letters ever became public, they offer a glimpse into the life of a beautiful woman…and a glimpse into my own troubled soul.
brody says:
Yeah, but is there any “actual evidence” that Mother Theresa was “truly a Christian”?
shaunfan says:
Brody, that’s a very profound question. I read the whole article and all of her letters and there is no direct trust in Jesus alone for salvation but more of doing the work of Jesus and seemingly trusting in His will. I’d love to know if she actually declared Him as her Savior.
My wife asked me the same question recently after we both read Shane Claiborne’s “Irresistible Revolution” about his encounter and time with her. His writings seemed to indicate his confidence in her salvation (although that was implied not directly stated).
What do others think about this question?
Kevin
Katherine Coble says:
The cruelty that Mother Theresa showed to the loved ones of the dying in Calcutta was almost as inforgivable as the cruelty she showed to those who were dying.
Her sect did not believe in administering pain medication, and they did not believe in allowing the homosexual partners of those dying from AIDS to see their loved ones once those loved ones were brought into the hospital.
Katherine Coble says:
What do others think about this question?
I think it’s really God’s business, frankly, and none of ours.
shaunfan says:
Katherine, well stated. I grew up Catholic and was told my whole life before I became Christian about sainthood and doing “works” for salvation which is why this question is profound for me to wrestle with, although none of my business. I strongly believe that there are Catholic Christians however.
Also, have you read the Shane Claiborne book? He didn’t mention any of the things you wrote in your previous post.
Kevin
Katherine Coble says:
why this question is profound for me to wrestle with
I think it’s something everyone wrestles with, but I tend to be more of a mystic. I spent years wrestling with the “who goes to heaven and who doesn’t” paradigm, but it’s been in the last few years especially that I’ve been of the belief that God is big enough to take care of God and I’ve got my hands full working out my salvation with fear and trembling.
That verse to me seems to speak to the fact that our time on earth is meant to be spent growing in our relationship to God.
Sort of a “keep your eyes on your own paper” philosophy of getting through the test of life, I suppose.
Also, have you read the Shane Claiborne book? He didn’t mention any of the things you wrote in your previous post.
I haven’t yet read it, although I’ve read some interviews with SC.
Criticisms of Mother Teresa are not popular for obvious reasons, and they don’t make for good copy.
When editors greenlight MT stories they do so because they want heatwarming tales of good deeds. (Who can blame them, really?) But MT’s positions on pain management and homosexuality were
a) not really that out of step at the time
and
b) very controversial to talk about.
For instance, if you can give one dying patient morphine for the pain or feed 12 living children, which would you choose?
And if you,as MT did, believe that AIDS is the fruit of God’s wrath for the practice of homosexuality and also spread through homosexuality you might think you were doing a good thing to keep loved ones separated.
So I suppose I spoke too strongly when I said “unforgivable”, because that’s not right is it? I mean, God can choose to forgive anything.
I just bristle at tales of the wonderfulness of Mother Teresa because I bristle at the idea that there are any of us better than any other by virtue of our works.
We’re all sinners, we’ve all fallen short of the Glory and we all need the blood magic of Jesus’ sacrifice in order to approach the Divine.
keith says:
Brody is being tongue-in-cheek, but someone was bound to go there. It’s possible for a person to live selflessly in her own strength for a time, but for fifty years?
I think the paragraph that says “his felt absence might be the ordeal she had prayed for” and “the night of her heart was the special share she had in Jesus’ passion” explains it well. She wanted to reflect Jesus so much that she perpetually experienced the forsakenness he felt on the cross. But again, the question comes up, “for fifty years?”
Shaun Groves says:
For the record, Brody, whose sarcasm does not transmit well in type (nor does mine most of the time) was, in fact, being sarcastic. He and I heard from a certain radio show host that when Mother Teresa was brought up on his program a listener called in and said there was no “evidence” that Mother Teresa was a Christian. Brody’s comment is nodding back to that conversation – he’s not actually seriously wondering about her relationship with God. Nor am I.
Mother Teresa often asserted that when we reach heaven we’ll be asked about what we did with Jesus. Did we feed Him? Give Him drink? Clothe Him? I recall Jesus saying the same thing. This belief, to me, doesn’t seem to contradict belief or faith in Jesus, but grows naturally out of it. Faith without action isn’t faith at all. I love her for teaching me that with her words and life.
The cruelty that Mother Theresa showed to the loved ones of the dying in Calcutta was almost as inforgivable as the cruelty she showed to those who were dying. You scared me there for a minute. Glad you came to and reminded yourself and all of us not to be that sort of Christian who thinks themselves “well-suited to pass judgement on the…habits of other Christians.” A beautifully worded reminder too. Thanks for the transparency.
It does suck when divine peace making and mercy mingle with flawed humanity – bad judgment calls, unsavory societal no-no’s, strange rules and regulations and all. But it’s no less divine right? And no less appreciated by the sick and hungry and dying, I suspect.
Pam says:
I read the entire article a few days ago…the first several pages of Time Magazine was almost as if to discredit her…but if you stuck it out for the entire article you’d see many talking about her faithfullness even through the “darkness”. It was also mentioned that she had the mountain top experiences and that it is often followed by long periods of emptyness…maybe after you been in the presence of God the ordinary seems a bit dimmer. She showed what faithfullness is even when you don’t feel it. Is that not what faith is?
As for me, I won’t try to determine whether she was a Sinner or Saint as I’m sure God with reward her accordingly. She was just Mother Teresa, faithful servant.
shaunfan says:
Shaun and Katherine, thanks for your comments. I agree and regardless of the reasons for Mother Teresa’s works (or methods), I also agree with Pam’s comment that she was a faithful servant.
Katherine, thanks for your clarification on your earlier post and even if you only read the chapter on Mother Teresa in the SC book, I’d love to know your comments. I’ve been very inspired by that book and from listening to and reading Shaun’s comments about horizontal worship.
Katherine Coble says:
The cruelty that Mother Theresa showed to the loved ones of the dying in Calcutta was almost as inforgivable as the cruelty she showed to those who were dying. You scared me there for a minute. Glad you came to and reminded yourself and all of us not to be that sort of Christian who thinks themselves “well-suited to pass judgement on the…habits of other Christians.” A beautifully worded reminder too. Thanks for the transparency.
I suppose you were so excited to see that you just skipped right over my subsequent comments, eh?
Shaun Groves says:
Skipped? No. I loved your subsequent comments.
Seth Ward says:
It is a sad thing that we like to imagine a perfect Christian somewhere in the world and hold our idea of what they should be to such a test of perfection, when we ourselves so grossly fall short every other minute.
I see nothing in these prayers and letters that do not echo the same sentiment that we all have faced. (Like Shaun is saying.)
Even Jesus on the cross cried out a Psalm of being forgotten by God except He experienced the full void of nothing that comes from being forsaken. We only catch glimpses.
You couldn’t survey a single saint’s life and miss the desperate moments of feeling alone. Even Paul spoke of this Yearning. There is no doubt about it, MT was a mystic, and there is an intense loneliness that comes with being a mystic that the mystics actually gave a name. “The dark night of the Soul.”
Also the Psalms are FULL of “where the hell are you God.” moments. Job? Elijah? Not to mention flawed individuals that we read and cherish everyday. David had a man murdered because he wanted his wife. Paul had Christians hunted down, beaten, killed and jailed.
And who can live up to the myth of what others say about us when we are gone? Whether good or bad, the whole story is never told anymore and when it is we recoil as if God himself has turned out to be a lie. To me, these intimate thoughts and confessions are a relief rather than a disappointment.
Besides, if these were her darkest moments unveiled then I am in big trouble.
Katherine, you said “I just bristle at tales of the wonderfulness of Mother Teresa because I bristle at the idea that there are any of us better than any other by virtue of our works.”
I am glad I never felt that way when I read of her acts. I hope you hold this standard for everyone that you hear doing something out of kindness, because if you don’t then there might be some other reason for your disdain for MT.
As for MT’s view on AIDS, I heard Bill Bright say the same exact words at a Campus Crusade conference about 10 years ago. Right or wrong, the view was not uncommon at the time, and still isn’t among prominent Christians.
angie says:
I have never posted here before, but felt the need to over the post on MT.
First of all, the people who didn’t follow her wishes and are now making money off of her should be ashamed of themselves.
Second of all, how could she not have doubts surrounded by the overwhelming nature of her work? I think sometimes we have a glorified view of the poor and the people who work with them!
The fact that she had dark times and doubts only reveal her humanity and the fact that although we who believe are all saints, we are in fact, at our core sinful people who sometimes can’t see God.
As for the treatment of the victims of AIDS, I hope when people look back at my life the don’t say she was such a source of Christ’s light, but man oh man you should’ve seen what she did that one time to those people!
Anyway, those were my thoughts and thanks for letting me share!
brody says:
Taken from pages 113 & 114 of
“My Life For The Poor” by Mother Theresa
Edited by Jose Luis Gonsalez-Balado and Janet N. Playfoot.
“This is Jesus to me:
The word made flesh.
The Bread Of Life
The Victim offered for our sins on the cross.
The Sacrifice offered at the Holy Mass for the sins of the world and mine.
The Word – to be spoken.
The Way – to be walked.
The Truth – to be told.
The Light – to be lit.
The Life – to be lived.
The Love – to be loved.
The Joy – to be shared.
The Sacrifice – to be offered.
The Peace – to be given.
The Bread Of Life – to be eaten.
The Hungry – to be fed.
The Thirsty – to be satisfied.
The Naked – to be clothed.
The Homeless – to be taken in.
The Sick – to be healed.
The Lonely – to be loved.
The Unwanted – to be wanted.
The Leper – to wash his wounds.
The Beggar – to give him a smile.
The Drunkard – to listen to him.
The Little One – to embrace him.
The Blind – to lead him.
The Dumb – to speak for him.
The Crippled – to walk with him.
The Drug Addict – to befriend him.
The Prostitute – to remove from danger and befriend her.
The Prisoner – to be visited.
The Old – to be served.
To me Jesus is my God.
Jesus is my spouse.
Jesus is my Life.
Jesus is my only Love.
Jesus is my all in all.
Jesus is my everything.
In my work, I belong to the whole world, but in my heart I belong to Christ.”
I’d say that’s decent evidence…. but that’s just me.
Shaun Groves says:
Yea, yea, Brody, but did she pray the sinner’s prayer at youth camp or vacation bible school or a revival meeting?
You’ve really lowered the bar here, Brody. Even atheists feed the starving, rescue prostitutes, touch lepers, sit with the dying, house the homeless, mother the orphaned and clean the filthy. It takes a Christian to walk down an isle and say a prayer, fill out a card and join a church, and then judge those who don’t have the same experience. Duh. THAT’S a Christian, man.
Kathryn E Brantley says:
Just stopped by after seeing the video on your myspace! Thought the life of a soft rock singer was very taxing!LUV the music!
shaunfan says:
Brody and Shaun, thanks for your further comments, especially the list of attributes and attitudes from her book. I don’t think the mocking was called for however as I think both of you are aware of misguided faith not based on trusting in Jesus alone for salvation. I had that type of misguided faith for 28 years of my life and I take that rather seriously and don’t in fact judge anyone but try to love everyone as Jesus commands.
Sincerely,
Kevin
Shaun Groves says:
Not aimed at you, Kevin. I apologize for letting my cynicism spill out here in the comments. I sometimes forget, especially when Brody and others who know me very well are on here, how my words may sound to people who do care about me but don’t live with me every day. Mockery is a highly tempting way of letting off steam for me – a bad habit – and also an effective point maker…if the audience isn’t too angered to listen.
Hope no one was. Point made though eh?
Joe Proctor says:
Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed these comments. My feelings are that these revelations of MT only show me what a saint she was! To keep on doing good when haunted by such doubts reveal that she was a human. Who amoung us can say that everyday is a good one? Why do we always hold others to a higher standard than ourselves? “Those who live in glass houses——–!”
Becky says:
TIME talks about how Mother Teresa wrote her letters and shared her heart with a “spiritual confidant,” her “confessors” and “superiors.” When did it become okay to make someone’s confidential issues public? She specifically asked they remain private. The least we could do to honor her memory is respect her wishes. I can’t believe people aren’t making a bigger deal of this.
MamasBoy says:
“I read the whole article and all of her letters and there is no direct trust in Jesus alone for salvation but more of doing the work of Jesus and seemingly trusting in His will. I’d love to know if she actually declared Him as her Savior.”
If you want to understand the letters better and the life of MT, it might help to read the actual book and not just Time’s article. I can’t speak to this topic in particular, but I have seen gross oversimplification and obfuscation in past Time articles on religious matters.
http://www.amazon.com/Mother-Teresa-Come-Be-Light/dp/0385520379
In defense of the release of the letters, Mother Teresa was Catholic. Undoubtedly, she would have submitted obediently to the decision of the Church authorities regarding her letters, even if she disagreed with it. As one recalls, the three vows a religious takes are poverty, chastity and *obedience*.
It takes a special humility to put our ego aside and allow our weaknesses to be published for the world to see. This is difficult for even the most saintly among us and the decision is complicated when their are doubts regarding the spiritual benefit/suffering to others that could result. Mother Teresa has had her goodness and triumphs paraded. Catholic Church authorities decided to let her difficulties and struggles be known as well. Whatever her personal wishes, I’m sure Mother Teresa would have obediently submitted to the decision. Of course, I’d be willing to reconsider that conclusion if someone could show a pattern of disobedience (an instance perhaps) of her disobedience to her religious superiors.
Honestly, given that much of this was already known through hearsay, I think that it is probably better to publish the letters and let the facts speak for themselves. I remember reading several years ago about Mother Teresa being visited by an excorcist before her death and about some of the spiritual struggles and doubts she had. It’s not like this is all brand new information, though it does appear that the new book gives a more more reliable and complete treatment of the subject.
Lastly, regarding the person who wrote this book making any money off of it, he is a religious brother from Mother Teresa’s order and has taken a vow of poverty. The missionaries of charity may get some of the proceeds, but the individual will not profit from it and I can assure you that the sisters and brothers won’t use the proceeds to go buy a Ferrari.
MB
Susanne says:
I agree with Angie; who wouldn’t have occasional doubts when surrounded by such human tragedy? If I saw sick, hungy, and dying people day-in and day-out, I’m sure I would ask God, “Where are you???” It’s easy to say that we don’t doubt when we’re living in our comfy air-conditioned homes. Most of us live in bubbles, and we don’t usually come face-to-face with the ugliness that is the world. And thanks, Seth, for the reminder that even Jesus, as He was taking on the sins of the world while on the cross, asked God why He was forsaking Him. Jesus was 100% God, but He was also 100% man, and I’m sure He completely understood what MT was talking about.
Andrey says:
She was a real human. It will be more correct.
Mike says:
It`s a good article.
drug rehab programs says:
Frankly, I did heard something, but very little. Mother Teresa was human? Who could even doubt it?