I’m toast out and I haven’t even talked about it yet.
Becky, our three offspring and I are headed to the airport in the morning – catching a flight to Texas where the kids will be spoiled nurtured by my parents for a week. Becky and I will kiss their foreheads, wave good-bye from the curb, wait until they’re out of sight, do a happy dance (something spectacular with lots of finger pointing and pelvic swiveling), and drive ourselves to Austin.
I’m teaching at the National Worship Leader Conference twice and we’re spending the rest of the time eating Tex Mex, seeing movies, savoring silence and celebrating 10 years of marriage. (By the way, I love that my wife loves vacations paid for by work. Thrift as a turn-on. She’s perfect.)
Worship Leader has asked me to talk about burn-out – basically the questions I try to answer help us stay fit relationally, physically and spiritually. I call the talk “Toast” and the last time I did it I was amazed at the number of pastors and volunteers that are fried to the point of depression, addiction, divorce and medication. I’m hoping just telling my own story of failing to take care of myself helps those who show up.
Truth is though, I don’t feel all that fit tonight either. I feel exhausted. It’s all Becky’s fault.
Becky and I are very different travelers. I travel often and I have the process down. I have three jeans and seven t-shirts. I put them in my suitcase with a small stack of underwear and socks. I’ll pack my shoes by wearing them. My backpack stays packed at all times. I plug in my phone and my laptop the night before I leave, slip them both in my backpack on the way out the door in the morning and I’m packed. Easy.
Becky and the kids, however, rarely travel. She’s very efficient but not as practiced as me, so, she’s a bit slower: She’s been packing for two days. And Becky likes – really really likes – to come home to a clean house. Tonight, the cleaning began. I did the bathrooms and mopped floors. She did a zillion loads of laundry, dishes, windows, vacuuming, dusting, organizing… There was a tiny amount of friction – mostly me saying stupid things like “I’d love to travel with you and the kids everywhere I go but I don’t think I could clean this thoroughly before every gig. I’d be wiped before I even left the house.” This, apparently, is a bad thing to say, even half joking, to a woman doing a zillion loads of laundry, dishes, windows, vacuuming, dusting, organizing… Oops.
But maybe this week will make up for my jokes insensitivity. Once the stress of getting ready and getting there passes, the plan is to do a lot of nothing…with each other…and eat gallons of queso. No better way to avoid becoming toast.
Kim says:
My grandma is totally like your wife. she will not leave the house, whether or not we are going on a roadtrip or just a quick errand, or even if we are in the house. Its a good thing, no massive cleaning. Good luck on the cleaning. LOL
Thomas says:
I hope that you and Becky have a great working vacation.
Shaun, you surprised me with your response to cleaning the house before heading out. Even I know, and my foot is permanently located in my mouth, that you do not make a joke to a women about cleaning the house when they are cleaning the house. It is no win situation.
Thomas
The Leprechaun says:
Lucky! I would love to go to NWLC, and to Chuy’s.
keith says:
Yes. Yes. Cleaning the house is very important, and it takes us a week to pack.
TheFeelGood says:
I wish I was as efficient at packing as you (or even your wife for that matter). Yet it seems that whenever I go on a trip, half of my room ends up in my bag, and the majority of it never sees the outside of my bag after I get to whereever it is I’m going. Anyway, I hope y’all have a lot of fun!
Cruz-Control says:
See you at the seminar Wednesday morning, Shaun.
Grovesfan says:
I’m allergic to cleaning so I avoid it like the plague. Packing is easy. Throw it all in a bag and hope I need it.
Beth
Abby says:
Hey there…hopped over from LPM!
I’m definitely in the slow packer category…and I grew up with a mom who also did the clean-the-house-before-you-go-out-of-town thing…but the worst is when we’d do all this work and someone would come over and she’d say “oh please excuse the mess” while we sit in the corner going “excuse me? WHAT mess?!”
…praying the Lord re-energizes you this week for whatever tasks He has for you!
oh and thanks…the queso made me want mexican..like, NOW.
brody says:
That toast looks good all burnt and stuff..
Shane S. says:
I hope you have enjoyed Austin! Sorry about all the rain here…being a Texan yourself, I am sure you know this is not normal summer weather!
BUSH says:
i totally understand where you are coming from with all of this. when i get off of the road i just leave my suitcase packed and get clothes from there.
you are making me miss TX by reading this. be sure and eat plenty of CHUY’s & Pappasitos for all of the Nashville people who don’t have access to good mexican food.
jreid says:
What a great week we had in Austin, and the weather was great! Happy Anniversary Shaun and Becky….I think I love your wife! She is a woman after my own heart. My family hates me by the time we get into the airport, I have the same outlook on travel…but when we come home they always love me, and see the wisdom of my plan….returning home to a clean house is always great.
Thanks for all you said and taught in Texas Shaun….
Julie