Shaun Groves
The first day of our workation has been OK, a mixture of good and bad news really.
A friend of Becky’s went in to have some cancer removed and the doctors discovered it had spread much farther than they’d anticipated. She lost some important organs like a stomach and intestine and… the point being that it’s taken Becky’s brain off vacationing and placed it squarely on her friend – where it belongs. I love this about Becky. She’s overflowing with empathy. She internalizes the pain of others, never pretending to understand, but always wanting to. It’s hard for her to be here while her friend is back home dealing with a dark prognosis. But her friend in in great hands. Redneck Neighbor’s wife is there with our friend, filling Becky in right now (on the phone in the next room) with the details of the situation and even getting Becky to laugh.
My day, on the other hand, has been great. I got up late and “taught” about burn-out. Really, I’m getting paid to tell my story and remind folks of some very basic things I stopped believing and doing that left me physically, relationally and spiritually unhealthy. Afterwards, several people came by to tell me their story. A pastor’s wife, a single music minister working two other jobs as well, a seminary student wishing they taught this basic stuff in school – all burned out or believing they’re headed that way. It was rewarding to say something so simple and see immediate results – people feeling less alone and weird than before, people resolving to quit jobs or ask for a more clear job description, people vowing to take a vacation or take their wife out on a date. These aren’t world changing resolutions but they could save a marriage, extend the life of a person, build a better dad and a healthier church.
The thing I kept thinking was “Is there something inherently unhealthy about our current church model in America?” The problem of burnout is so rampant, it seems, that it makes me wonder. Is the problem how we respond to the model we have or is the problem the model itself? Or is it a combination of the two?
What do you think?
gene says:
—
in the face of statements like:
“i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,”
“…not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord,”
and
“…on this rock i will build my church and the gates of hades shall not prevail against it”
i am forced to recognize that burnout must be the result of serving in the flesh and not in the Spirit. not that people who experience burnout are then automatically fleshly, sinful or ungodly…of course not, yet, if we work in the Spirit, being guided, filled, encouraged and strengthened by Him then how can we become burnt out?
if i am defeated, overwhelmed or distraught in my service for God, or in a ministry, or in a spiritual pursuit, then it stands to reason that either God is not in it (leading and empowering) or i am not on the same page as my Lord is.
to me this is an encouragement, not a rebuke. may it be that we all might let Isaiah’s words resound in our hearts:
“But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40.31
blessings
Luke says:
In my life, I take burnout as a sign of misplaced allegiance. It’s tempting for those of us who love the Body to focus entirely on the Body while forgetting who the Head is! When my service “to God” becomes such a strain on me that it’s causing health and relational problems, I begin to realize that I’m actually serving the church, not the Lord.
When I focus on Christ, I realize that the Church is His to build and lead as He pleases. Rather than feeling overwhelmed with anxiety about all I can be overwhelmed with thankfulness that I’m able to be used!
Seth Ward says:
“Is there something inherently unhealthy about our current church model in America?”
Hell yes.
euphrony says:
I think I have to agree, at least to some extent, with Seth’s analysis. In some ways I can’t quite put my finger on it, but other things are glaringly wrong. We have friends who were in youth ministry, or at least he was and the wife was a nurse and mom. He became terribly toasted, mainly from conflicting goals and pressures placed on him by parents and elders in the church. He ended up leaving the ministry; he blamed much of it on his wife and left her, as well. And his isn’t the only story like that I know, just one closer to my heart.
Keep preaching about toast, Shaun. It’s what we need. And I’ll be praying for that friend.
Nancy Tyler says:
The current American church culture reflects the current American culture as a whole.
Burnout is everywhere, right down to the overscheduled second grader who doesn’t have time to go out and play because he has music lessons, tutoring, soccer, Cub Scouts and swim meets.
Just looked at the calendar and realized that it’s been a year since my last burnout. Thank God for that because I’ve experienced times of burnout since high school. And high school was a long time ago for me. lol
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Praying for Becky’s friend and for Becky…
Cali Amy says:
I agree Nancy, and so I think that shows there is something wrong with the church “model” because it so closely reflects the culture. Could it be made better, probably, but it will never be made perfect in this lifetime.
I like what others have said as well about how often burn-out is the result of working in the flesh. That transition can happen so very easily.
Shaun Groves says:
In non-biblical language, what does “in the flesh” mean to those of you who are using it in these comments? What do you think that looks like exactly?
Contrast that with “in the spirit” for me so I can understand what you mean by the terms. I think it’s a mistake to believe we all, across all denominations etc, interpret biblical language and reuse it in the same ways. To tell someone who is burned out that they are working “in the flesh” may communicate absolutely nothing or may communicate what you don’t intend.
Can you clarify?
Trey says:
I have to agree with all those comments about “in the flesh”. To me that means churches and pastors try to make stuff happen by spending a lot of money, throwing alot of time and energy and preperation into some huge rally, revival, some large scale outreach push, or even a weekly production. They try to do good works out of their own human strength and wisdom.
Good intentions aside, I think we’re trying to grow the kingdom of God by all the methods that “successful Christian leaders” have employed in the past or even methods that are being developed and appropriated by the church leaders today. So Christians are looking to ministry models and 10 step programs for making your church appealing to the un-churched. I’ve heard of churches bringing in analysts to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of their organization. The church today is doing so much with such futile results.
There are so many instances in the NT when God used simple, simple circumstances to do such great work, i.e. Peter converting 3000 on the day of Pentecost just preaching in an open marketplace, the fact that the early church spread like wild fire in it first few hundred years of existence without any organized church-system in place.
So I think “In the flesh” means trying to build the kingdom of God out of our own efforts.
I think “In the Spirit” means for us to stop trying to make things happen and let the Lord use us to do his work on his schedule. He’s called us everyday and always to walk in His spirit, which means waiting for the prompting of His voice in us before we move to action, because without his direction and his blessing, we are walking in the flesh.
Like when Moses struck the rock the first time, that was essentially of the spirit or of the direction of God. Moses striking the rock the second time, was of the flesh. Same outcome, certainly, but God didn’t bless it.
I think the church is trying way too hard to do this on her own. God is much more patient and relational and no amount of money or preperation or programming is going to further His kingdom unless He is in it. And if He was in it, if it was His will, I have no doubts there would be results.
And I don’t think he’s called us to be busy all the time, laboring for Him to grow the kingdom the way we think we should. But He’s called us to be a faithful conduit of His grace as He directs us to those around us, loving others, getting down in the dirt where others are laboring under their burdens, loving and serving them where they are at.
There’s no way to organize that or draw-up a ministry pie chart, nor any way to justify tithing. Yet it’s in this unorganization where God does His work. Because God wants us to realize in everything that it’s not in our efforts but in His will and grace that reaching the hungry and lost is possible.
Chris Morris says:
“Is there something inherently unhealthy about our current church model in America?”—yeah, all the sinners involved in it.
I don’t get the impression from the Bible that God is big on any certain church model. I think they are necessary tools for us feeble beings, but it’s always the people that make or break a system.
From where I sit, I just don’t see enough wise men and women in the church who are good at introspection and healthy confrontation, to train those coming up in the ranks to work out their salvation. No model will fix that, just lots of prayer and (barring a miracle) time.
kim says:
Here are some fragments that I see as tangled in this issue: a flawed model of church (the flaws being different, probably, from church to church)… pride… as Nancy said above, being part of a culture of overachieving & overscheduling… unrealistic expectations that can come from anyone within a congregation… the fact that personal spiritual experience/maturity/growth is intertwined with the job… the fact that there is constant battle of some kind, and any slip away from your spiritual ‘A’ game is fuel for the enemy… the fact that no matter what the week has held, you have to stand in front of a group of people every seven days and deliver something good… the fact that many in ministry see the signs of burnout as part of the ‘sacrifice’ they make in order to serve… the fact that pastors/leaders may have to work and worship alongside the people who put financial and lifestyle parameters in place for their entire families…
Ugh. It’s complicated and sickening and probably not at all what God intended for us. But the responsibility lies on all sides to guard against the ‘using up’ of anyone.
Thomas says:
I have not read all of Static yet, but I wonder if he deals with the word flesh.
I agree with Nancy that we over schedule children. I do not believe that a child should be given an hours worth of homework from each class or subject he/she is in. Then have the parents turn around and schedule their children for sports and music on top of all that home work.
I wonder how much burn out could be avoided if we were willing to except help. How many people say this is my ministry. Only I can lead a small group, only I can pick the songs for service, only my small group of friends and I can chose, plan and run our next out reach program. How many times does a person offer to help and get rejected before they get discouraged and give up and stops offering their help. In essences, how much of the burn out in the church is a result of our own inflated imperfect view of ourselves and our role in the church.
Praying for Becky and her friend.
Thomas
gene says:
—
i agree with Trey’s definition of ‘flesh’ and ‘spirit’ but i figured since i was the first to comment i should answer Shaun’s question as well.
by “working in the flesh” i mean Christians doing ministry/serving the Lord/living out the Gospel of grace/etc in their own power, without the supernatural guidance of God. by “working in the flesh” i also mean using man’s wisdom (worldly) and human strategies alone to minister/serve.
here’s a couple of Biblical examples of what i’m talking about:
1 – King Saul, who stopped waiting on the Lord and started focusing on pleasing men, which of course led to personal and national disaster. (1 Sam. 13, 15)
2 – Nathan the prophet, who told David that it was fine to build a temple and undertake a huge work for God without consulting God at all, which was not God’s plan. Nathan thought the idea sounded good enough and so dove in without going to the Lord for guidance. It led to him having to humble himself and go back on his earlier approval of David’s building plan. (1 Chron. 17)
by “working in the spirit” i mean being supernaturally led by God, through His Word or the Holy Spirit, to accomplish His goals in my area of influence. by “working in the spirit” i mean relying on God’s guiding and God’s providing for all aspects of ministry (whether ‘professional’ or not). some of the best examples of this sort of life in the Bible are the Judges and the apostles. “in the spirit” doesn’t just mean having little resources and God doing something ‘big,’ it means doing God’s tasks in God’s way with God’s direction and God’s techniques.
i hope that clarifies.
as to the other aspect of this discussion, the ‘church model,’ i think it is healthy to evaluate ourselves and the way we’re serving the Lord. we need to be good Bereans who compare what we’re being taught in our churches to the Word and character of God.
however i think there is a fine line between evaluation and complaining. i find it is easy for me to forget that the Church is the bride of Jesus Christ and that He takes His bride very seriously because He loves her so much. often i forget that when i’m talking about ‘the Church’ i am talking about my Lord’s wife.
again, it is a hard balance, i’m not saying we never discuss these things or question popular opinion, but sometimes when i read things that Christians are saying (or i am saying for that matter) about the Church i think, “i wonder what i would do if someone was saying that about MY wife?”
Brant says:
If my wife were forced to dress like Zappo the Clown, I’d sure say something, *because* I love her.
Because I love her, I might say something, if you dress her up however you want, change her identity, or make her a slave to your agenda.
Jesus promised rest, folks. Churches in America do, by nature of the way they define “success”, burn people out.
Jesus says worry about today only, consider the lilies, give us this day our daily bread, and come to me for rest, but we don’t take it seriously, because how can the church survive like that, without our tireless efforts, and vision-casting, and flow-charts and programs and meetings and studies and series and small groups and mission trips and big events and why aren’t you spending more time in the word and also with your family and serving on our board and helping in the nursery and teaching a class and going to another one and going to the 101 class and getting involved in the community and taking part in Outreach 2007 and getting your kids to youth group and raising money at the car wash?
RevJeff says:
”…rewarding to say something so simple…”
That is really “it” though isn’t it. It isn’t brain surgery. OK, in a way it is, but the answer to being BURNED OUT is LOWER THE FLAME!!!!
The fact that we regularly use phrases like “burning the candle at both ends” (WHICH NO ONE really EVER DOES) should tell us something. Have you ever lit both ends of a candle? EVER?
Why not? (Because it would be foolish and wasteful and you would get burned in the process.)
Yet we spiritually, emotionally and physically act out that horrible metaphor DAILY.
STOP IT!
Sorry – this is your post….
Cali Amy says:
In the flesh means to me that one is operating out of their own power.
A lot of times, I think we do the things we do (so for example all of those things Brant listed) and think we are doing them because we love God, and because they are the right things to do. We allow the pressure of our Christian culture and our secular culture and all the things we’ve been taught or told guide us and we forget how to listen to the Spirit and rely on His guidance. And some of the things we are doing may be fabulous and they may even work, but how much are we robbing ourselves when our sole motivation and our sole engine isn’t the Holy Spirit?
So whatever that comes down to–that is the problem. Whether that’s the church model or just the way we are living our lives.
inWorship says:
Reading through your post and the comments, I think most people have hit it on the head. Pride. Our relationship with the people in the church is just that, relationship. The church gets very focused on program, procedure and process. Then when people come to us who need prayer or someone to cry with, we are so tired from “doing things”, that peole are now the burden. It’s backwards and if the “machine” is not stopped, we burn out.
People have to come first. Buildings, programs even church services…have to come last. I’ve been very fortunate to work with a great staff of Pastors that get this. We put our all into leading this group of people.But we have to be healthy to be of any value. There is definitely a selfishness or even arrogance that encourages burnout.
Trey says:
Hey, I just thought of something: Wouldn’t it be awesome if Christians scrapped church models and everyone doing church differantly in their own Sunday sanctuaries, and we were all like one big family who loved and lived in the simplicity that Jesus died to bring, and then extended that love to those around us without cluttering our lives with rituals and ceremonies that didn’t reach anyone for Jesus nor bring us closer to God?
Nah, that’s just silly.
Rick says:
Maybe the problem is part culture, and partly due to the current church model. We tend to tie our worth to doing things… culturally, worthy people are the ones who are succeful, so they work hard. In the church, the ones who build great programs are considered successful, so we work hard. But, I’ve come to discover that the ones who love people are far happier than the ones who try to build great progams.
I read and listened to a couple of things that saved my life from being toast. If you are a reader, you can check out this story http://www.jakecolsen.com or if you prefer to listen you can check out this guy who calls himself a ‘recovering pharisee’
http://www.lifestream.org/transition/transition.html
Randy says:
I have to sharply disagree with the folks who are claiming it to be as simple as “spirit” vs “flesh”. The truth is that people in ministry have company politics and culture just like any other corporation. I know a good pastor who let go a good youth minister just because he wanted to bring in his own guys. “The good ol boy” system as they call it where I work. Point being its not as simple as not working in the “flesh”.
Anything other than people entering into each others lives and wanting to follow Jesus together leads to burn out.
MammasBoy says:
It can be easy to do the good without putting time in on the basics first. How many of us spend more time talking to other folks about God than we do praying for them. It’s easy to lecture your kids about what’s right and wrong, everybody does it. How many of us parents, though, spend 1/10th as much time in prayer for our kids as we do lecturing them? I’m convinced that prayer is one of the best means we have to combat burnout, whether as a parent or as a pastor.
MB
Kathleen says:
That workshop was great! It was confirmation to me that I don’t need to do anything more at this time than what I do. I am one of 4 worship leaders for a little recovery group that meets on Friday nights. I often get asked to lead one of the recovery groups – because I have experience – but I don’t want to commit to being there every week. I often feel torn because they need someone who has 12 step experience but my family needs me too and it’s important to me that I take a Friday night off occasionally to be with my husband and kids.
I came up with a friend afterwards and you talked to her and prayed an awesome prayer, and I just wanted to let you know that after that she went home and spent the rest of her week off with her husband and kids, and when I talked to her Friday she said it was exactly what she needed to do.
I am really grateful for you sharing your story!
With hope and heart,
Kathleen