Dear Widow Of A Nigerian Millionaire

Dear Widow of a Nigerian Millionaire,

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your husband – Mr. Andreewson was it? – and am especially sorry that he left you to handle his finances.  No offense, truly, but you’re no good at it.  Your scheme plan to deposit his enormous savings in my bank account is, well, strange to say the least.  You know, I just figured a wealthy guy like – Mr. Andreewson was it? – would have had, I don’t know, an accountant or something.

Here’s my advice, and I’m no financial wizard mind you but you wrote me so…Well, Apple is doing pretty well these days.  How about some stock?  Or I could hook you up with the guy who wrote the e-mail just before yours.  He’s got a time share in Florida he wants me to check out.  You could buy a second home and win free tickets to Epcot Center.  Or the guy before him, the one selling generic Viagra.  Do you know how much Viagra you could swing with six million dollars?  Some men in your country have problems come business time too right?  Imagine, you, running a generic Viagra black market out of your basement.  Cha-ching.

Sound good?  Sure beats spamming soliciting strangers for bank account info right?

Again, sorry about your loss.  Wish I could be of more assistance to you.  But I’m just a minor soft rock star short on time and long on e-mails to read.



[email protected]