I spent lunch at the cult de sac with Brian and his family.  Our realtor called warning that she was heading our way with a prospective buyer so we quickly mopped, dusted, stuffed stuff under the beds, threw covers over abandoned pajamas and headed out the door.

Of course our house looks great these days, to the naive, and so the woman who perused it wants it if her husband agrees.  She’ll be back with him in tow this weekend.  Thankfully I’ll be out of town and unable to participate in the mopping, dusting, stuffing of stuff under beds, throwing of covers over abandoned pajamas and heading out the door to eat Sonic in Brian’s front yard again.  Too bad.

I say it looks good to the naive because only someone without a clue, or someone extremely optimistic about the living habits of a family of five, would truly believe this place is so meticulously groomed at all times.  In reality the Cheeto stains were only recently painstakingly concealed with a fresh coat of paint, covering only the bottom three feet of every wall.  The deck was only recently completely stained and before then sat for more than a year only two-thirds washed in the chocolate colored pain-in-the butt stuff.  (I hate staining.)

And the coffee tables and end tables, glass of course for making the place look bigger, were added by our realtor.  Along with a thin layer of cheap mulch in the flower beds and a few strategically placed scented candles and a cookbook on the kitchen island – opened to some fancy chicken spinach tartar something-or-nother – that says “Me cook fancy meals.  We have it together.  Move here and you will too.”

She calls it “staging.” Some would call it “lying” or, at best, “faking.”

She also added plants, pillows, throws, lamps, a fountain, books and nick knacks (I asked if we should add any paddy whacks.  Not amused.  You’d think for this kind of money she could fake a smile too.)

So the place looks amazing.  Amazing enough to give me second thoughts about selling it before I left for El Salvador.  I came back though and added a few things myself.  And started looking for our next home.  I’m partial to a place over in Brian’s cult de sac.  Got to go in it.  Looks great.  Smells great.  They have two kids but they seem to have it together…and they cook a lot.