I’ve met hundreds of kids after concerts in the lobby of churches and arenas, in homes and on playgrounds and streets in the developing world. Unbeknownst to me I was being prepared for the day S would join our family. On so many levels kids are kids, regardless of skin color, wealth, culture or language. Here are three much-tested and proven ways to kickstart a connection with any kid.
1. Pictures. Show him pictures from a story book, from your photo album…from your fridge. Sponsors often bring along pictures – of their pets, their vacation to the beach, their Christmas tree – when they’re meeting their sponsored child. They sit together and flip through the strange images from the other side of the world – it’s like visiting another planet. S and I sit on the the floor in front of the fridge and he points his little brown finger at face after face. “Who dis?” he asks again and again.
2. Trading Language. Kids love to feel smart. And they are. They have so much to teach you. Starting with what they call that bump in the middle of your face. Learn how to say “What is this?” in their language and you’re set! Point to your nose and ask. When they tell you, say it back to them. If you get it right they’ll be thrilled. If you don’t they’ll be immensely entertained. And you’ll be immensely humbled. S has been laughing and I’ve been humbled for days. Which brings me to…
3. Laughter. My oldest boy, Gresham (8), “accidentally” tooted the first night S was with us. Up that point S had been noticeably nervous, shy, serious. But when he heard that sound we saw his smile and heard his chipmunk laugh for the first time. Ah, the power of gas. Slapstick is powerful too. I’ve got some go-to tricks when I’m visiting a Compassion child development center. Falling down while playing a sport, sitting in a chair made for pre-schoolers and acting like I’m stuck, making funny faces – comedic gold. S also likes it when I get hurt or spill things on accident. Unfortunately and thankfully, I do this often.
So there you have it. Read a book with pictures. Fumble through a foreign language. Get nailed in the face with a stray whiffle ball. And you’ve broken the ice. Even better, you’ve earned a little trust and started a relationship.
Karen says:
Haven’t figured out why ‘gas’ is so funny but 3 “nearly grown” boys later it apparently is…. ๐
Shaun Groves says:
Very. Very. Funny. Even if the boy is 37.
jess says:
so long as said 37 year old boy doesn’t do dutch oven with his wife… a little loud noise every now and again certainly does bring out a giggle or two! (not sure about your eldest but i think our daughter is our worst offender and then the one who laughs the longest and the loudest. : ) )
praying for S and your family to continue to gel. blessings to all!
Karen says:
yeah….I wasn’t going to mention the ‘oldest boy’ of my male dominated household! ๐
Christine says:
Love this! Love to hear anything about S. How is he liking our foods?
This week I’m holding a seven-month-old baby in the nursery for VBS, with my 2-year-old tagging along. Baby Matthew’s mother is working sound and my three older ones are attending the festivities.
Anyhow, you know the best way to break the ice with any baby or toddler? Sing. I’m loving walking around that nursery with this little guy on my shoulder. He “hums” the tunes along with me and forgets that Mommy is gone. When he’s hummed all he can, he falls asleep. I think he’s amazing.
Jen says:
“Rock in the Rocking Chair” is the only song I’ve ever written. It’s probably worth about a million dollars plus royalties. I’ve never had a kid in the nursery that didn’t calm down at least a bit when I sang this to them (and danced with them). Note: utilizing a rocking chair is sometimes helpful, but not necessary.
Tune: a “Rock this Town”-esque tune (as in “Rock this Town” by the Stray Cats).
We’re gonna rock, rock, rock in the rocking chair
(Shooby-doo-wop, doooo-wop)
We’re gonna rock, rock, rock in the rocking cha-aaaair…
We’re gonna rock, rock…ROCK, ROCK, ROCK!
We’re gonna rock, rock, rock
1) until you’re parents get here
2) until you grow some hair
3) as if we haven’t a care
4) like Jonah in the whale (I know, I know, it was a fish. Whale sounds better.)
5) and throw you up in the air (please don’t actually do this in the nursery. Makes people nervous.)
6) etc.
We’re gonna rock, rock, rock in the rocking chair!
Jacki says:
Thanks for sharing. I am leaving on a mission trip to Manila on Aug 5th where we will be serving the children of an orphanage and school! This info should come in handy! …Ano ito:)
kiriseth says:
Gas is comedic gold in my house. My son and I both have been known to bust own into helpless giggles at the sound of mustard being cut! I know this is not very ladylike of me, but, oh well!
shayne says:
“I fart in your general direction” is one of the greatest movie lines every written. Period.
I also love the GasX commercial where the guy is in a meeting and the man-secretary come in and says, “pardon me but your son rip is on line toot.”
Cracks me up every time.
shayne says:
GAH! What is wrong with my fingers? *sigh* I meant *ever* written.
Jeez.
Amy says:
My husband is 45 and gas doesn’t ever get old… for him.
Are you SURE it was an accident? Really? LOL.
Lindsay says:
You would make a great preschool teacher. ๐ But you can’t have my job…I love it too much.
Sara @ Happy Brown House says:
So glad to hear S is giggling! We’re continuing to pray for your family as you all adjust! Although, it sounds like Gresham is feeling rather comfortable already ๐
Lisa Smith @stretchmarkmama says:
You need to watch Rhett and Link’s commercial for “Colonics.” [I included the link on my name. Start at 5:30.)
Katie says:
I’ve also learned to take pictures. It’s hit or miss but in my experience, kids love the camera. Ask them to make a face (or to smile), snap a photo, show it to them, and they’ll do it again and again all day!
Katie