What Christians Believe

I’ve been asked to speak to a bunch of Aggies this weekend about what Christians believe. That shouldn’t be hard right?

Christians believe..

…the president is the anti-Christ.
…the last president is the anti-Christ.
…Jesus is their president.

…Christians speak in tongues.
…some Christians speak in tongues.
…some Christians once spoke in tongues.

…in socialism.
…in anarchy.
…in democracy.

…God hates fags.
…God loves homosexuals but hates their sin.
…homosexuality is not a sin.

…they’ve been chosen by God.
…they chose God.
…God chose those who choose him.

…negroes aren’t people.
…Jews aren’t people.
…God was a Jewish negro.

…in Chris Tomlin.
…in Fanny Crosby.
…in silence.

…war is just.
…war is murder.
…war is just murder.

…Jesus becomes wine and bread.
…Jesus is symbolized by wine and bread.
…Jesus is symbolized by grape juice and small crackers.

…God wants me to be rich.
…God wants me to be poor.
…God wants me.

…shit happens.
…s___ is a bad word.
…shit is just a word.

…church is a building.
…church is people.
…church is unnecessary.

…abortion is murder.
…choice is a gift from God.
…in adoption.

…in intelligent lighting and digital soundboards.
…in underground caves.
…in houses and school cafeterias.

…God made everything in six days.
…God made everything in millions of years.
…God made everything.

Christians believe a lot of stuff.

What are the things we all believe?

Maybe I should focus most of my words on those.

Maybe we all should.

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