I’m sick. Have been since I was eighteen.
Some people (successful people) sit down every day at the same time and write music. They’re disciplined. Professional. They’re the boss and their ideas have learned to show up on time or else wait quietly until tomorrow.
I’m not like that.
I have song writing attacks. They’re less frequent the older I get. But more severe.
It always starts unexpectedly. One day I’m in the shower and chunks of lyric and melody come buzzing out of me like angry bees.
What’s the trigger?
I’m addicted to caffeine again. Maybe the carbonation fizzed something loose in my dome?
I’m reading a good book. Maybe that guy’s words reproduced in my gray matter and had little word babies – like hookworms…without the diarrhea…and with the potential for royalty payments.
I’m in the middle of an attack right now. So I’m spending a lot of time singing softly but intensely to myself so I don’t forget, sprinting through the house half naked and wet, frantically searching for my pencil and paper. If I can get the words out of my head and onto the page the bees slow down and play nice.
Who moved my paper???
You know what’s most disturbing? These rhymes are coming out of me right? But I don’t know what they mean most of the time. Sometimes they’re like poetic fortune cookie messages – a couple lines long and vague – but backwards – in Swahili.
Wow. That’s beautiful. But what the heck is a “vagabond bloom?”
But they don’t care if I understand them. They keep coming out anyway: Little fragments of my subconscious, congealed bits of memory. And it’s up to me to make sense of them later – To tame them and help them grow up to be something respectable and hopefully likable. Something that can at least look people in the eyes and have an adult conversation.
You can’t go through life talking nonsense. Let’s work on that together. For starters, you need to drop the Swahili…and add a verb…
That takes a little work. More singing to myself. More paper. With much fear and trembling.
Last night, for instance, out of me came the most random lyric I’ve ever “written.” In the shower. I sang line after complete line, with chords playing along in my head. About a Tuesday in tenth grade. I have no idea why it decided to come out now. Or what it means. But it made me smile: another symptom of this sickness.
Kim, you swore
We were meant to be
Promised with blue ink in every letterWith a heart
You dotted all your I’s
Every note you signed “always forever”In the band hall, before the bell
I said we’d be friends and wished you well
I tried to shush your tears away
Forever ended on a Tuesday
See what I mean? Ran. Dom.
OK, so a little help please? Where would you like this song to go next? What’s the plot?
.
Wait, I don’t know – is Kim real? If so, then what really happened? If not, then I definitely don’t want her to die, and wouldn’t be opposed to a little Swahili.
She is real.
She married a great guy. They have kids. She’s a nurse.
Great life. Boring second verse ; )
(No offense, Kim.)
Maybe talk about your wife?
“forever started on a saturday…” (your wedding day)
Nice. I like that twist.
A little country-ish to me, but I like it.
LOL!
Yep. It’s totally cheesy. But as long as you leave off the part about your dog dying or your mom getting “ran over by the danged ol’ train” it shouldn’t be too bad.
(bonus points if you can name that country song!)
Maybe move on to Becky and your true (mature) love for her and change the last line of the chorus to “Forever began on a Tuesday” (I don’t know if you really met on a Tuesday, but, hey, poetic license, right?)
Then move on to your girls’ births and your true (instinctual) love for them. “Forever I’ll remember Tuesday”?
——-
Or take it in a spiritual direction:
Create a chorus that contrasts God’s love with what we understand of love here on Earth. Then write another verse or two about what God’s love isn’t using earthly examples.
——
Or perhaps the fictional Kim goes off to college and the fictional you misses her like the dickens, so you hook back up, replace the heart-dotted i’s with heart-promised vows and Forever begins on a Saturday.
——
See? This is why I’m a much better song-singer than song-writer.
Everything doesn’t have to be overtly about God because everything is covertly about God.
I don’t think this is a song overtly about God. I don’t think. Could be wrong. But I don’t think.
The other two ideas are good ones but again, probably a little too country for the music…and me ; )
Hmmm, but what if…
I agree. (Hence the fact that 2/3 of my suggestions were “covertly spiritual”.)
I guess I could have said, “or take it in an Overtly Spiritual direction”…but spiritual seemed to work well enough.
For extra christian points work backwards:
forever started on a Friday, red letters, friend of God, once were separated now we are together forever, now I know that You made me
Yuck.
I mean, thanks for the help and yuck.
thanks for the offer.
I’ll keep trying!
Guess I didn’t win any christian points
No extra Christian points.
Stand in the corner.
Weeelll….what about how “red ink” (the words of Christ in most bibles) really do lead to “forever’?
‘course if you use that…do I get a free itunes of the song?
It should be something along these lines:
So you both continue on living lives apart. Maybe she dates some, and realizes that she still feels unfulfilled. Then something like “One day, without a note, forever began again.” Maybe?
You’re really not giving us much to work with here… You’ve already started off SO cheesy, it’s hard to steer the song into anything but more cheese.
Ouch.
Ok, maybe this’ll help. Think Ben Folds, not Bob Carlisle.
Sentimental doesn’t have to sound (or end) cheesily. Is that a word?
Is this a verse, a chorus, or the bridge for the song? If I were to guess, it is not the bridge for the song. Could this be the first verse, the hook to get the listeners attention. I guess I would need to know what part of the song this is before even guessing on where the song needs to go.
Thomas
This is a verse and chorus. And it’s not radio friendly. No bang-you-over-the-head hook coming.
The melody is contagious. The words are almost furniture.
Does the next part need to relate to the first part then? (Or does it just need to match your rhyme scheme?) Perhaps there doesn’t need to be any narrative thread traveling through the song, just a thematic one.
Maybe the theme is “disappointment?” Or “Earnest starts often have unsatisfying endings?”
WWBD?
I think Ben Folds would do the unexpected and make you laugh now. I think Kim needs a name change to protect the living. And I think she needs to say she’ll miss me and wait for me forever.
And forever ends on a Wednesday wen she gets a new boyfriend.
I mean, that’s certainly what Ben would do.
Or maybe next we see the kid writing about how some cheap toy he ordered out of the back of a comic book broke the day he got it. Something else that promised something (in writing) and let him down. It promised more laughs than a barrel of monkeys but what it delivered was just more tears.
I know it’s been done, but I love those songs about the big picture. I’d like to know not just why you’re glad you didn’t up with Kim, but why (if there is any reason) you are glad you knew her for a time. I’m thinking something along the lines of your “no self-made men” post.
I wrote a longer comment but I’ve already commented today so the service blocked it! Your loss…or not.;) I’m definitely not a song writer!:)
BTW, have you met my good friend Jared Anderson? Those lyrics really sounded like him to me. Y’all would get along great.
Well at first I thought of the obvious spiritual-ish direction the song could take — increasingly “serious” life events that don’t go as planned,
*”we were engaged but we broke up, forever ended on a Tuesday” followed by
*”we were expecting but we miscarried, forever ended on a Tuesday”
and ending with the
*”ahh, but heaven – forever doesn’t end, as it turns out”
but blech
it’d be so much funnier if you wrote a saga to the terrors of puberty or high school:
*dang — my girlfriend broke up with me, forever ended on a tuesday.
*on wednesday i walked into the lunchroom, tripped, and my tray/food went flying – forever ended on a wednesday.
*I didn’t know I walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to my shoe, i WISH forever ended on a thursday
*I like Paul’s idea of the kid’s newly arrived comic book toy arriving and breaking on Friday
etc
Make Kim a stalker who won’t take no for an answer. So the song becomes a quest to get away from her, get away from forever. Twist again, and she finally lets you go — and, of course, you miss her, and want her (stalking) “true love” back.
This is NOT autobiographical, by the way. At all.
And her name should be a drink name. I don’t know why.
Thanks for the post.
This was fun, Now back to graphic design. I’m sure you’re not surprised . . . 
I like this. A LOT.
me too actually. The crazy ones are always the best. I like that her name would be a drink name. Go for it!
i’m sorry – i cant get past the hookworms without the diarrhea but with the royalites and – are you writing a song or raising kids?
seriously, this is a great post about your creative – and I do mean ‘creative’ – process
love it – thanks for sharing
name change –
Sue, you swore
You’d never love another
As we walked away, still friends
Broke my heart
You were walking hand in hand
With Bobby Brown down at the gym
In the band hall, before the bell
I said we’d be friends and wished you well
You tried to shush my tears away
Forever ended on a Wednesday
Close.
Something like this…
Then you wrote
One last perfumed note
Swearin’ you would wait for me whatever
Cause we were meant
Like pieces made to fit
Like angel fish swim side by side forever
At the food court after school
I saw him buy that Coke for you
And hand in hand you walked away
Forever ended on a Wednesday
Liar. Liar.
——
The music is beautiful. So, to me, with my warped brain, this is funny. Very funny. Because its unexpected. And, by the way, there’s nothing quite as unfunny as explaining why something’s funny.
Wow…weird.
Why are you writing a random song about some girl in 10th grade anyway? Are most of your songs just as weird? Because I know I like the ones you let us listen to. I don’t think I would like this one, though.
How about……..
Saxophone?
What was I thinking
Then you came to your senses
Your tears dried
You brushed back your hair
Forever became the guy with the guitar
In the band hall……….
for some reason, this has “desert moon” written all over it. back in the 80′s i thought that was an awesome video. when i watched it recently again, it was just lame. not saying your potential song is lame, just talking about dennis deyoung’s lame video for the song that your lyrics are reminding me of. i’m no help at all……
Now all I do is sit and cry
On all the days that end in “y”
And my parents say “plenty of fish in the sea”
But baby you were meant for ME
How can you walk away?
You promised me forever
Broke my heart and I swore I’d never
Love again
Hey, who’s your friend?
Nicely played.
Give us a rough clip of the music and maybe we can get a better idea of what you’re thinking.
Loved this post! You are way too creative for me. Can’t compete with the reader ideas either. Gosh, I am not poetic. Let us know how it ends… and please don’t let it end under the bleachers. Those goodbyes are old and tired and ALWAYS make me cry.
I dunno, I hear a song about 10th grade… what about keeping the melodic structure of of the chorus, but change the lyrics.
–drew
I got nothing.
But I love this post and the glimpse of your creative process.
And even more, I love these comments. Where else can you have Bob Carlisle, David Allen Coe and Ben Folds all come together for such entertainment?
After reading the quotes, I realize I have nothing to contribute to this conversation. But I LOVE the topic. I feel this way at times, only I can’t write music. But I think of great opening lines to the brilliant novel that is trapped inside my head. Maybe I could publish an entire book of the beautiful poetic sentences that are shoved in my bedside table, all scribbled on the backs of receipts, napkins and scraps of paper.
It could possibly be completely and utterly brilliant…
A book of beautiful opening lines for novels. That would be fantastic, a kind of cheat book for budding novelists or just a beautiful, poetic set of meditations.
I say Do it, because eventually you’ll regret not doing it.
Oh, and let us know what you call it so we can buy it.
Write it about the importance of a promise. And how in our time today someone’s word and promise isn’t important without being written down or contracted– that’s the way people see it now. How someone’s word doesn’t last forever anymore.
hmmm. I think it’s going to be about running away, about turning away from each other and not recognizing what we lose when we do so.
Too serious?
Looking back and seeing how at he time it seemed like the end of the world, but you have wife now and kinda make it about her and your forever with her.
I don’t have any helpful or even unhelpful suggestions, but it almost made me cry!
Mind you, so did Rob Bell’s story about the blind teenager with the can of sprite from his sermon this week at Mars Hill, so perhaps I’m just a bit emotionally unstable at the moment!!
Keep it coming, I like it.
If you go with Kim stalking you, you could let her pen run out of ink. Then it would truly have to be over. No ink to write of true love…means no true love. Right?
This verse should be the end of the song. The song, just like forever, ends on “a Tuesday.”
Or perhaps a theme built on the color blue…
Or you could go all gangsta and start singing about your money.
I’m with Keith! Perhaps a verse about MC Hammer Vanilla Ice and their millions that were supposed to last them forever…
fun.
i get that every song doesn’t have to talk about Jesus to show people you (1) love Jesus and (2) are getting melodic brain ulcers…
…but, this song sounded a little Mary Magdalenish to me…like how she probably felt about Jesus…the only guy to never feel her up or take her out behind the temple…she probably thought that finally her life would be different…that she could be who she wanted to be if she could just stay w/ the women following Jesus around preaching…hopeful for a forever of being loved as a person instead of a piece of ass…and then Jesus died…forever ended at the cross…
…and then it didn’t…
but I also like the stalker and the food court bit.
You’re probably done talking about this but I just saw this post today. It made me think of a song I was working on a few years ago. I intended it to be a serious song because it’s a true story of something that happened to me.
But when I was thinking about it today…I laughed and laughed because it’s well…just take a look:
I laid my hands on her and I prayed
All of my thee’s and thou’s in perfect place
I looked into her big blue eyes
Said everything’s gonna be ok
I laid my hands on her and I prayed
(second verse…it’s ok you can laugh)
I sang Amazing Grace when she died
I sang every single note just right
In the depths of my soul
I’m screaming Why, why God why?
I sang Amazing Grace when she died
So…yeah…that song never went anywhere…good luck on yours!
My wife and I met in high school and I broke her heart and then to my surprise almost 7 years later we reconnected and got married.
Not to say that it has to have a happy ending… before we reconnected I wrote a lot of songs about regretting that decision.
Regret seems to be a pretty common theme in peoples lives. If it were me I’d move towards a hope filled regret. Kind of a beautiful paradox between what is and what could have been. I’m also a little crazy though…
I like songs with a less obvious resolve because I think it’s a little more true to life. I have a habit of believing what I sing so the truer the song the better.