What I have learned is that Westerners, especially us Americans, don’t look deeply enough into the ethics of both private domestic and international adoption. I have learned that adoption programs often, because of human corruption, slowly become a supply and demand market for couples who long for a child and for families who believe they are doing a good thing. I have learned that adoption is often the “easy” fix for poverty, lack of universal health care and other societal problems that seem too large to overcome.

Most people adopting wish to adopt healthy children, as young as possible. But the children MOST in need of homes are the children with moderate to severe special needs… the children who are over age four… the children who have experienced trauma we cannot imagine.

I don’t know much, but having been an adoptive parent for 4.5 years now, I personally believe that adoption is not for everyone. Adoption does not end when the child joins your family – adoption is a lifelong journey. The two questions everyone should ask themselves are – “am I willing to adopt a child?”… and… “am I willing to become an adoptive parent?” If you answer yes to the first question, but no to the second… then you have more work to do to find out what that difference is and to see if you are called (and willing) to take on the challenge.

Adoption is not a Biblical mandate. The care of widows and orphans IS one.

But, if you ask God, “Should we?”, I can’t see Him saying “No, don’t do it.”

If we had the financial resources, I’m sure we could be open to more adoptions than our 5, but there is little to no ongoing support to help these children in our situation with the future therapies that they need.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we are often looked upon as odd for going into the ministry calling of God that we have, because it is outside the norm of the middle or upper middle class or we are somehow taking away from our biological child. Those feelings are expressed by our Christian family and friends.

But as I type and hold one of my babies, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. The passion God has placed in my heart is for the abused and neglected child right around the corner or in a neighboring state.

I’m not yet at the point in my life where I could consider adoption (senior in college, getting married next summer, doing graduate school…), but this has made me seriously consider doing it in the future. The fiancee and I will have to have a chat about that, definitely.

It’s something that’s been a passing thought. Something like, “Oh, you know, one day it might be nice to adopt, after my own kids are grown and I have all this free time and energy…” I’m realizing now that it’s totally the wrong approach. Is God CALLING me to welcome another child into my future family as my own? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Thanks, Shaun.

However, I think we do adoption a disservice by simply treating it like an option “out there” that we may or may not consider. Many couples thinking about children ask themselves, “Should we adopt?” This is good, but I don’t think it’s the best way to go about it.

Instead, I believe that they might better get at the heart of God’s love for orphans by asking, “Why SHOULDN’T we adopt?” If you can’t come up with any biblical answer to that, then you should probably pursue adoption.

If more people thought of it in this way, we’d have far fewer excuses for not adopting, and far more children in permanent, Christian homes.

Now, private adoptions, especially international, are a different, and more expensive story.

My biggest thought is…the cost. I honestly think that more people would adopt of it wasn’t so expensive.