Comments on: Empty Nesters

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:38:25 +0000

Ha ha! Oh Shaun! When I graduated high school, my parents adopted two kids, aged 3 and not quite 5. They decided they wanted to do it all over again. As if that’s not enough, just last year, my 13 year old sister was adopted, throwing my parents right back into the horrors of teeny-bopper horomones. A 12-year-old boy and 2 13-year old girls. What were they thinking...??

By: tamera

tamera — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:36:30 +0000

first of all, i absolutely agree with ron about the bigger tv-it really does help! both my daughters left for college a year apart. my husband and i both had a really hard time, especially when our nest truly was empty. it seemed to be much harder for me, and i shed many tears! i prayed, worked really long hours, talked to friends, and spent time with my husband. after 4 years, my hubby and i have a new rhythm to our lives. our girls facebook/text/email/call us just about every day-thank goodness for technology! our girls are still huge parts of our hearts and lives, they’re just not always physically here. oh, and besides the new tv, we also got a lively little black schnauzer puppy…

By: Christine

Christine — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:19:51 +0000

This was me and my husband last weekend. As we too ate at a restaurant we’d never take the girls to, I mentioned to him how when I was little my parents would go on these big international trips once a year with my dad’s job. We’d be carted between different friends’ homes and wait impatiently for them to come home, missing them desperately. I can remember as a kid being anxious to be all grown up so I wouldn’t miss them so much when we were apart. And it’s true, I can be apart from my parents for a few weeks at a time and get thru life just fine. Trouble is, now I miss my kids just as desperately as I missed my own mom and dad when I was little. The hubs misses them too. We enjoy our alone time and giving them the opportunity to make special memories with the grandparents. But beyond the different routine, I just miss their sweet little selves to love on, even if they are beating the crap out of each other!

By: Ron

Ron — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:41:39 +0000

I think it’s like most things in life that involve change. It takes time. So give it time. Or I could be wrong.

I still say the 47 inch HDTV is a reasonable response.

By: Cheryl

Cheryl — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:38:01 +0000

For the first couple of weeks, it felt sooooo strange…yes, way too quiet. And then I thought to myself, no more waiting up til they get in on a weekend night, no more worrying about the latest friend I was introduced to or talking through misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Wow, was i wrong! And I’m glad I was wrong…turns out they are pretty darn great kids that I love interacting with. While I no longer wait up til I see the whites of their eyes on a Saturday night, sometimes I lay awake in bed wondering what they’re up to. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great now, some 3 years later. My husband and I have time to pursue lots of interests that were on the shelf, we love living spur of the moment. But, I miss my kids. All is as it should be, though. They are building their own lives, learning their lessons, and yes, sometimes they call to talk things through. Could it now be the best of both worlds?

By: Jeremy

Jeremy — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 11:30:48 +0000

I understand where you are coming from, I’ve got 3 kids of my own and when they are not around the house is so empty feeling. I missed the little things they would say like “I’m hungry”, “I need to go potty”, “I’m thirsty” and most of all
“I love you daddy”.

By: Stretch Mark Mama

Stretch Mark Mama — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 06:27:21 +0000

I have promised myself, PROMISED, that no matter how much I’ll miss having the kids around, I will NOT miss the MESS.

Oh. THE MESS.

Which reminds me, I believe I spent most of my pre-kid years cleaning the house. Now? WHY BOTHER.

That is all.

By: Stretch Mark Mama

Stretch Mark Mama — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 06:25:10 +0000

I’ve come to realize that I enjoy the ‘challenge’ of parenting. I mean, *anyone* can dice a potato, but who, WHO can dice a potato while being tapped incessantly on the leg by the 5YO, screamed at from the upstairs by the 7YO, AND all the while sense that the 3YO is up to no good in the next room? Sure, I complain about the Circus now, but truly. I’d be lost without it.

I never thought my life before kids was boring (it wasn’t). (Okay it was. But that has nothing to do with being kid-less.) But these days, when I go off into my Happy Place, I think, “Wow. Imagine what I’ll be able to accomplish when these troops have MOVED OUT.”

By: Beth

Beth — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 16:17:13 +0000

Thanks, Pendy! That’s very encouraging, and sort of how I want to look at it. I miss the days so much when my kids were young, and we were our own little world. Lets face it, life (in this world) is loss. But even as my children have grown and matured, I’ve discovered a different kind of beauty in my changing relationship with them. We are very emotionally close, and we’re evolving more and more into our eternal relationship, which will be as brothers and sisters in Christ! We can connect more and more as friends, and we can have discussions about theology, politics, history, literature, music, etc.

That’s not to say that I’m not nostalgic for the days when they were young. Sometimes I’m really, really sad that those days are gone forever, and I miss them terribly! But I’m trying to be present in the moment, too, and to glorify God with my life as it is today.

By: pendy

pendy — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 13:36:24 +0000

Here’s how it works. Bit by bit, your children become more independent. By the time they’re in high school, they are not home much at all. They become involved in extracurricular activities at school and spend a lot of time with friends. You get used to having a lot of time at home with them not around. When they leave for college and you are having that alone time, it’s easy to imagine them still just at a friend’s house. In other words, you are gradually weaned from the all-consuming phase of parenthood before they actually leave home.

We are enjoying our empty nest very much, but I think it’s because we are close enough to our grown children (no more than five hours in the car) to see them once in a while and never underestimate the role technology plays (cell phones and blogs) in keeping emotionally close.

Also, most importantly, we find that our children, as adults, are such great fun (and we have the added bonus of a grandbaby now).