Nathan and I hung out a lot on Sunday. He’s one of the pastors at Riverside’s Sandals Church. He used to work in the music business as a manager. At one point we got to talking about expectations and how they affect what I do on stage and off.
For the last couple years I’ve moved from 90% ad lib in concert to maybe 10%. 90% of what I do on stage these days, in other words, is stuff I’ve done before: same stories, same songs, same jokes. The tricky part is making it sound like it’s never happened before. It’s not as fun to perform this way because, for me, it feels like a performance. That’s against everything in my singer songwriter body. It feel fake. But it’s necessary.
That’s because when I ad lib around an outline of the night, the odds of someone being offended goes up tremendously and I don’t want something I say to be a barrier between even one person and a child in need of help. I represent Compassion and, I confessed to Nathan, that turns out to be harder than representing Jesus. That sounds awful, I know, but that’s how it seems. It’s a lot of pressure to feel as if the future of someone else’s kid hangs, to any degree, on me. (Of course thinking that is arrogant. I know. Spare me the bible verses about God’s sovereignty in the comments, please.)
Compassion has never asked me to change my show. I’ve done it on my own. I’ve eliminated the possibility that I’ll say “crap” or mention how “hot” my wife is or play a “secular” song or talk too much or too little. These are things I’ve done in the past on a whim and been spanked for in the lobby afterwards.
Truth is some people are looking desperately for a reason NOT to sponsor a child, not to listen to me at all. And I’ll give them that reason if I’m myself long enough.
But for the last two weeks I’ve torn up the script. I’ve had fun on stage again. I’ve felt freedom again. I don’t think I’ve offended anyone. I don’t think I’ve given anyone cause to ignore my cause. But that will happen, Nathan assured me. He also assured me the spankers do not represent the majority and that if I upset the loud minority I’m still, oddly enough, useful to God and loved too.
This isn’t stuff I don’t know. But it’s the right encouragement/reminder at just the right time. Thanks, Nathan.
Perfect thing for me to read this morning. God knows we can be idiots, He just uses us anyway.
Now that you use words like “crap” on your blog, I’ll be reading more often!
I found your blog through Angi Smith’s blog…The first thing that came to mind as I was reading this was…yeah maybe letting down your guard and your protection of the “script” will offend some, as history has proven, and therefore cause someone to not sponsor a child (crazy…just crazy), but in the end, my feeling is that if you are being the authentic person that God created, that things will happen in the Spirit realm that will move and inspire some to do MORE for Compassion…because it is real and touchable.
just a thought.
Yeah, I gotta agree with Michelle. Being a rather direct person myself I’ve learned through experience to be sensitive and careful with how I say things, depending on who I’m talking to. I can’t even imagine the pressure you feel when you’re on stage with an audience full of potential offendees. However, I, too have been drawn to you, your site, your music because you talk like the rest of us, you aren’t like so many Christian musicians whose voice gets lost or buried in spiritual-like language. Shawn, you emanate the Spirit of God! Look how unpredictable He is! Just about every time I read your blog I am challenged to think, consider . . . the way you ad lib it is disarming and lets some very tough medicine go down a little easier. Praying for you brother.
I say that my wife is “hot” or refer to my “hotwife” often from stage. Heck, I’ll throw it in there even if it’s completely irrelevant. It’s always funny to me, because I’m not hot. So people laugh. And then later I introduce them to my wife who is… and it’s like divine justice meted out sweetly before my very eyes. But my wife is also a wonderfully encouraging partner and an incredible mommy!
Here’s to celebrating “hot-wives!”
Being real on stage is always better than being scripted. I can tell you the exact moment I gave up on Christian music and culture. One of the girls in my youth group became a Christian music superstar, and another friend went on tour with her to work the merch table one year. That second friend came back able to mimic all the motions and words in the act, down to the prayers and the “spontaneous” worshipful mood to reach out and touch the face of God. And I was done with it all. My guess is that more of the people you’re singing and speaking in front of will respond to authenticity. And the ones who would be offended might be better off channeling their energies elsewhere.
Having been to many of your shows over the last 5 years or so, I can say that I’ve heard many of your jokes and stories before. That’s OK to a point because most of the people in the audience with me haven’t.
However, getting to hang out with the “unscripted” you is much better. Your humor, insight, advice and many times, accountability, are just some of the things that make me call you friend.
Your authenticity is exactly what drove me to sponsor a child in the first place. Don’t ever be afraid to let it be used.
As long as you don’t talk about me on stage, I’m OK with that too.
Umm…yeah, the quickest way to get me up on my soapbox and riled up is giving voice to that small minority that doesn’t represent me, the church or the heart of God.
I’ll probably suck at church planting because my first instinct is to do everything I can to run those folks off right off the bat – because they simply irritate the snot out of me!
Look at it this way…if you don’t offend them the Lord will use somebody else to offend them – he’s quick to point out our religious baggage and at least attempt to work it out of us. Might as well be you and at least you can have a good time while doing it!
Justice has a way of trumping religious…and the hearts that get turned towards those kids will get turned because God is at work….even if you say crap….while singing about your hot wife.
The best christians, the ones who people look up to and the ones the unbelievers look at and say “I want that”, are the wildly passionate ones…people will see that passion and thrive on it.
You can’t do passion scripted!
Well, I think God uses you to further His kingdom period. When I have heard you speak (in Hickory, NC during Gloria tour) you tell the story in a way that is captivating …. and funny …. and heartbreaking. God makes no mistakes in having YOU bring His message.
We are so thrilled to have nailed down the date in March you will be at our school (Hickory Christian). Looking forward to meeting you again and praying God uses you (fully knowing that He WILL!).
I’m praying, Shaun!
Jesus was *extremely* offensive (especially to religious folks) and told his followers that if they truly followed him the would offend (religious) folks too. It takes spirit and guts to follow Jesus. And people with delicate sensibilities often miss out on the work God is doing b/c they get hung up on a guy using the word “crap” or “hot”.
God loves you so much. And you being an *authentic* you is real and true and gives an honest testimony to His goodness. Your honesty inspires others to be open too. So, thanks.
Good luck with the authenticity Shaun. You can’t please everyone all the time and if you let the spirit lead you, what you say will have effect he desires (even if it isn’t always the one you desire).
Great reminder.
When you feel like your representing so many people you forget to truly represent yourself therefore robbing people of the person God created YOU to be.
I’m tearing the script up.
“It’s a lot of pressure to feel as if the future of someone else’s kid hangs, to any degree, on me.”
I only do a booth once a year on a volunteer basis and always rely on my pastor to present the announcement that I write up, so I can’t imagine the pressure you feel to get the presentation “right.” I imagine it’s tough to balance being all things to all men in order to save some with scrupulousness and authenticity. Whether or not I do my job well may affect how cheaply or reliably we can launch a NASA telescope or military satellite into space many years down the road. Whether or not you do your job well helps determine whether some kid eats later on this year. I imagine the really cool thing about Compassion being an organization that connects real people with real faces can also be a potential source of pressure. I pray you find a balance that you are both happy and comfortable with.
Personally, I’d recommend that you loosen up muy mucho. You’d definitely reach more people in my demographic and possibly enjoy your work more. However, I’m a Christian who drinks (probably too little), cusses (probably too much) and enjoys listening to secular music on occasion. So, take the above with a grain of salt.
From reading your posts and judging your heart, I’m pretty confident you will find a balance that you and the guy upstairs are both happy with.
MB