Comments on: Going Giftless Part 4 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:34:22 -0600 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Ann Voskamp http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-41999 Ann Voskamp Sun, 11 Dec 2011 05:15:21 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-41999 I've never read this series before. Yes. Us too. Just. like. this. Our kids have grown up this way and never known anything different -- soy milk. And yes, too -- gifts to community. Thank you. I’ve never read this series before.
Yes. Us too. Just. like. this.
Our kids have grown up this way and never known anything different — soy milk.
And yes, too — gifts to community.
Thank you.

]]> By: Matthew W http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-35243 Matthew W Thu, 30 Dec 2010 06:16:47 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-35243 Hey Shaun, I was re-reading this series a few weeks ago, and I was wondering if you could give us an update on how your giftless Christmases are now that time has progressed, the kids are older, and you have more experience with the whole thing. I meant to post this /before/ Christmas... but that didn't happen, did it? ;-) (incidentally, this series is what brought me to your blog.) Blessings. :-) Hey Shaun,

I was re-reading this series a few weeks ago, and I was wondering if you could give us an update on how your giftless Christmases are now that time has progressed, the kids are older, and you have more experience with the whole thing. I meant to post this /before/ Christmas… but that didn’t happen, did it? ;-)

(incidentally, this series is what brought me to your blog.)

Blessings. :-)

]]> By: Jessica http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-18229 Jessica Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:56:29 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-18229 Also, could I have proof-read less? Also, could I have proof-read less?

]]> By: Jessica http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-18214 Jessica Mon, 07 Dec 2009 23:01:45 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-18214 Well, I wish we were closer to the way your family does it. But I guess even our weak attempt and not hopping on the consumerism train makes us counter-cultural enough for all of our think we're weird. We have 4 children ages 1 1/2 to 9. We give them one gift each on Christmas. We also don't have cable so they don't want a whole lot either. Gifts for family and friends are homemade, usually baked good. I WISH I knew a way to reign in the other people in the family. The grandparents aren't really the problem, but we have a few single aunts and uncles who never had a family of their own and they go overboard each year. It's really terrible. I have a question for you - Do you set up a Christmas tree at your house? We've been seriously considering doing away with the tree. And it's totally me hanging on to the tradition and not the kids. It's just so PRETTY. :) Well, I wish we were closer to the way your family does it. But I guess even our weak attempt and not hopping on the consumerism train makes us counter-cultural enough for all of our think we’re weird.

We have 4 children ages 1 1/2 to 9. We give them one gift each on Christmas. We also don’t have cable so they don’t want a whole lot either.

Gifts for family and friends are homemade, usually baked good.

I WISH I knew a way to reign in the other people in the family. The grandparents aren’t really the problem, but we have a few single aunts and uncles who never had a family of their own and they go overboard each year. It’s really terrible.

I have a question for you – Do you set up a Christmas tree at your house? We’ve been seriously considering doing away with the tree. And it’s totally me hanging on to the tradition and not the kids. It’s just so PRETTY. :)

]]> By: ToilingAnt http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3438 ToilingAnt Thu, 08 Jan 2009 18:34:46 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3438 <p>I know I’m late to the party here, but wow. PREACH ON. Especially the part about the grandparents as toy dispensers. The one time I almost flew off the handle this Christmas was on the 26th when my MIL was grilling (a very willing) Girlie about what she wanted for her birthday (today, actually). Granted, MIL *loves* to give gifts, but honestly. The day.after.Christmas. I’m not real sure yet how to change the situation- Granny would be horribly affronted if she was “limited” to fewer gifts- but at least now it’s identified (and I’m thankful to know that I’m not the only one who thinks something’s not quite right). </p> I know I’m late to the party here, but wow. PREACH ON. Especially the part about the grandparents as toy dispensers. The one time I almost flew off the handle this Christmas was on the 26th when my MIL was grilling (a very willing) Girlie about what she wanted for her birthday (today, actually). Granted, MIL *loves* to give gifts, but honestly. The day.after.Christmas. I’m not real sure yet how to change the situation- Granny would be horribly affronted if she was “limited” to fewer gifts- but at least now it’s identified (and I’m thankful to know that I’m not the only one who thinks something’s not quite right).

]]> By: Geneva http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3437 Geneva Wed, 24 Dec 2008 04:42:28 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3437 <p>Christians giving gifts for Christmas began in a very interesting way.  According to my research, those who had enough/ more than enough would give gifts to the poor and to missionaries at Christmas.  It was not a gift exchange, as it is today. </p> Christians giving gifts for Christmas began in a very interesting way.  According to my research, those who had enough/ more than enough would give gifts to the poor and to missionaries at Christmas.  It was not a gift exchange, as it is today.

]]> By: Renee http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3436 Renee Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:22:16 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3436 <p>You’ve obviously stirred something up, and I’ve enjoyed reading the comments from people on both ends of this thing.  I did have a thought ... and I want to be careful to not bash my in-laws ... They do not give many gifts at Christmas, and we’re fine with that.  What they give is useful and practical, no waste.  However, they are extremely generous to anyone and everyone else they meet, give lavishly to various charities, etc.  I affirm this.  We try to do so as well.  But my husband (and his sisters, too, for that matter) has grown up with the mindset that everyone else was more important than them.  His parents can spend all kinds of time with their friends or church family, but seem to begrudge any time spent with the grandchildren.  On the flip side, my parents are very generous at Christmas time.  Not overboard, but generous.  And, year round, they love spending time with their kids and grandkids.  Nothing brings them greater joy then doing a project with the kids or picking raspberries off my dad’s bushes or playing basketball out back.  So my kids do not look at Christmas gifts from them as the goal, it’s just another extension of my parents’ love for them, not the main point.  Which would I rather have for my kids?  There is no question.  I see the insecurity in my husband and his sister and I don’t care how generous his parents have been to the “needy:” they have neglected the “needy” in their own family.  We’ve been through times of intense financial strain and not once have they ever given us anything or even done so much as ask us how it’s going.  How bout a little moral support?  But they are quite proud of helping out others who are facing hard times.  My heart aches for my husband, a 41 year old man still looking for his parents’ love.  Just food for thought ... </p> You’ve obviously stirred something up, and I’ve enjoyed reading the comments from people on both ends of this thing.  I did have a thought … and I want to be careful to not bash my in-laws … They do not give many gifts at Christmas, and we’re fine with that.  What they give is useful and practical, no waste.  However, they are extremely generous to anyone and everyone else they meet, give lavishly to various charities, etc.  I affirm this.  We try to do so as well.  But my husband (and his sisters, too, for that matter) has grown up with the mindset that everyone else was more important than them.  His parents can spend all kinds of time with their friends or church family, but seem to begrudge any time spent with the grandchildren.  On the flip side, my parents are very generous at Christmas time.  Not overboard, but generous.  And, year round, they love spending time with their kids and grandkids.  Nothing brings them greater joy then doing a project with the kids or picking raspberries off my dad’s bushes or playing basketball out back.  So my kids do not look at Christmas gifts from them as the goal, it’s just another extension of my parents’ love for them, not the main point.  Which would I rather have for my kids?  There is no question.  I see the insecurity in my husband and his sister and I don’t care how generous his parents have been to the “needy:” they have neglected the “needy” in their own family.  We’ve been through times of intense financial strain and not once have they ever given us anything or even done so much as ask us how it’s going.  How bout a little moral support?  But they are quite proud of helping out others who are facing hard times.  My heart aches for my husband, a 41 year old man still looking for his parents’ love.  Just food for thought …

]]> By: Melissa http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3435 Melissa Tue, 23 Dec 2008 04:33:50 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3435 <p>I think you’re my hero. LOL Honestly, this is what I want for my kids, but haven’t had the courage to actually put it into practice yet, although we do keep Christmas to a minimum - about $30 for each of our two kids and there is no Santa. We make cookie trays to hand out; always participate in providing clothes and a toy for a child who needs it from my husband’s school, but I want to do more. I always want the focus to be on giving and not receiving, but it is hard. And mostly it’s hard because of worrying about what other people think (which is ridiculous in itself, but there it is). We also don’t let the kids watch TV so they ask for very little, which is wonderful and as it should be. </p> I think you’re my hero. LOL Honestly, this is what I want for my kids, but haven’t had the courage to actually put it into practice yet, although we do keep Christmas to a minimum – about $30 for each of our two kids and there is no Santa. We make cookie trays to hand out; always participate in providing clothes and a toy for a child who needs it from my husband’s school, but I want to do more. I always want the focus to be on giving and not receiving, but it is hard. And mostly it’s hard because of worrying about what other people think (which is ridiculous in itself, but there it is). We also don’t let the kids watch TV so they ask for very little, which is wonderful and as it should be.

]]> By: Heidi Marshall http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3434 Heidi Marshall Mon, 22 Dec 2008 23:49:28 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3434 <p>I think you’re right on as far as what we *should* do. It’s making that a reality which is the hard part. Props to you for making it happen. </p> I think you’re right on as far as what we *should* do. It’s making that a reality which is the hard part. Props to you for making it happen.

]]> By: FzxGkJssFrk http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3433 FzxGkJssFrk Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:11:17 +0000 http://shaungroves.com/2008/12/going-giftless-part-4/#comment-3433 <p>We aren’t giving our kids gifts this Christmas; it’s not as principled a stand as yours, though.  For us, it’s because 1) they get more than they need from their grandparents and aunts/uncles, 2) we can’t fit much more stuff in our smallish townhouse and will probably have them donate some stuff to Goodwill, both as a good exercise and as a practical matter, 3) we’ve been on a relatively strict budget, 4) they’re all under 5 and they won’t appreciate it that much anyway.  </p> <p> I’m totally with you on the advertising thing.  Our kids watch a little Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers.  The only commercial stuff they get is from Thomas trains, which are encouraged (within reason) by their grandparents.  <br /> But we never have the “I want thus-and-such for Christmas” in our house, and we don’t do Santa either.  </p> <p> Good thoughts. </p> We aren’t giving our kids gifts this Christmas; it’s not as principled a stand as yours, though.  For us, it’s because 1) they get more than they need from their grandparents and aunts/uncles, 2) we can’t fit much more stuff in our smallish townhouse and will probably have them donate some stuff to Goodwill, both as a good exercise and as a practical matter, 3) we’ve been on a relatively strict budget, 4) they’re all under 5 and they won’t appreciate it that much anyway. 

I’m totally with you on the advertising thing.  Our kids watch a little Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers.  The only commercial stuff they get is from Thomas trains, which are encouraged (within reason) by their grandparents. 

But we never have the “I want thus-and-such for Christmas” in our house, and we don’t do Santa either. 

Good thoughts.

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