If my children grow up to be average Americans I’ll have failed them as a parent.
If they spend four hours a day watching other people live on a television screen. If they’re bored.
If they go to school to get a job so their kids can go to school so they can get a job so their kids can go to school…If they’re without purpose.
If they take more than they give and want more than they have. If they’re greedy.
If everyone in their prayers looks like them. If they’re unaware.
I’ve failed.
As part of the 40 Day Fast a bunch of us bloggers are taking turns posting about a tremendous need in the world and educating our readers about solutions they can be part of. I can think of no problem that worries me more than this: How do I raise content, selflessly driven, cheerfully generous, globally aware children in a culture where such characteristics are the exception and not the rule?
I’ve met slaves. I’ve seen injustice. I’ve talked with impoverished children in some of the world’s poorest countries. I’ve stood in the homes. And I’ve been moved to act on their behalf. But, the truth is, my confession today is, my action hasn’t been entirely about saving their kids. I’m saving my own. Or trying.
When my kids turn five we sponsor a child through Compassion International for them. (Go here to do the same) This means I pay $32 a month to meet the physical, economic, social, academic and spiritual needs of that child. This also means that my kids get a pen pal from an undeveloped nation, someone my kids can describe a Christmas tree to, someone who can describe life in the third world to them.
Gabriella is now seven and she now pitches in some of her money to sponsor Yanci who lives in El Salvador. One day Gabriella will sponsor Yanci by herself. For now a few bucks and a few well-written sentences is contribution enough. I watch her forehead tense up as she stares at the page struggling for what to say.
“Does she know Hannah Montana?”
“She doesn’t have a CD player. She shares a room with her whole family remember? So there’s not much room for stuff like that.”
Gresham is five and his sponsored child Yoseph lives in Ethiopia. He’s still too young to help pay for Yoseph’s care or write much but he’s big enough to pray. And ask questions.
“Why doesn’t Yoseph live with his mommy?”
“He lives with his aunt because his mommy doesn’t have enough money to take care of him right now. That’s why we’re helping.”
I watch his face and for a few seconds he looks very concerned, a little sad, shocked. Then he grabs a Matchbox car and bounds out the door to play. Because he’s still a little boy.
But someday.
Someday I hope he’ll be a man who gives more than he takes, who knows where Ethiopia is on a map, who works for something greater than a paycheck, who believes God’s hands are bigger than America, who helps his kids write letters to their sponsored kids.
Shaun, thanks for the reminders that we need to teach our children. Selfless or with selfish reasons – I don’t think any of us can say we honestly serve God for purely selfless reasons – I agree wholeheartedly that we (I) need to teach my children better than the American dream. We are doing the same thing you describe with our kids (our oldest is just now 5).
I’ll be praying for you today as you fast and implore God to move people.
Praying for you as you pray for the next generation of Americans. I pray with you that we can each teach our kids to be full of purpose and meeting needs outside our own.
You know this is actually a good idea Shaun. I’ll have to bring up the idea of sponsoring a kid for my son to write as a pen pal here, once he learns a bit more on how to write legibly :/. The cultural experience alone could prove to be very educational for my 5.5 year old home schooler.
Excellent post as usual Mr. Groves. Thank you for the reminder.
It sort of makes me feel inspired to go work with kids.
Shaun I appreciate the heart of where you’re coming from and I love learning about the ways that you and Becky are investing in, modeling for and inspiring your kids to want and to be anything but comfortable, average and self-absorbed. You may fail them if you don’t teach them these things growing up. But their lifestyle choices beyond your parenting are their responsibility.
I know committed, Godly, balanced families that have kids who have rebelled against the things they were taught, choosing stuff instead of sacrifice and self over others to destructive degrees. To the best of my knowledge, these moms and dads did not fail their kids. The kids just chose not to believe or live out what they were taught.
I have every reason to believe that your kids will continue in the life example that you and Becky and your extended family are modeling for them. But if they choose not to build on the foundation you’ve laid for them, that’s not a failure on your part.
Hey Shaun! I got an email from Compassion saying that you are coming to town (Naples, FL) on the 26th. Unfortunately Nathan and I won’t be able to help at the sponsorship table (we wanted to) because the service Nathan leads is on Sat nights. However, if you need anything (IE a ride, place to stay, some company, directions etc.) just let us know. If you don’t have Nathan’s # just email him at and I’m sure he would share the digits. Or you can contact me at too. Hope to see you when you are down here.
Bethany
Absolutely, Nancy. Poor choice of words on my part.
I’ll be in touch, Bethany. Thanks for the generous offer(s).
I agree, I think that having kids help sponsor “friends” in other countries can teach them so much.
Thanks for being a part of the 40 day fast!
that was kristin, I don’t know why it comments me as “Brody Harper.”
Man, I’m trying to get my daughter (she’s 6) to realize that there are kids in the world who have nothing and need us to live simpler so that they can simply live. We sponsor a child in Burkina Faso who is 6 also and as a family we write her letters and send pictures, both photographs and drawn by my daughter to try to get her to just be aware of people who don’t have what we do. Sometimes I struggle with how to raise her to not be a “typical” American. I appreciate you and your family’s insights though this blog.
Having each kid sponsor a child, that’s a great idea. Very cool.
And not to brag (sort of), but my daughter can identify Ethiopia on a map! Helps that we’re adopting from there so that’s all we talk about.