Comments on: Behind The Mask

By: Shaun Groves

Shaun Groves — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:22:15 +0000

I wrote this post in a hurry and really never felt like I did a very good job of telling the story and describing what went down. Because of all the links to it (and some interest from a magazine in me retelling it to their audience) and because I really think this is an important tale to tell, I thought it was well-worth the time to go back and tell the story better than I originally did. So, this post has been updated - a little more concise for one thing, more accurate and precise adjectives and descriptions I think, with an update at the end.

Thanks for all the e-mails regarding this post. I’ve received some incredible stories from you guys about how you’ve been inspired to forgive, start a conversation you’ve put off, apologize to somebody and on and on. Thanks for not only reading but thinking too. And thank God for neighbors who meet us half-way (and wives who make us better people).

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:45:35 +0000

I’m usually a big strong non-emotional tough guy, but reading this story brought tears to my eyes. I love that responding to hurtful actions with love completely changed the neighbors’ behavior.

By: Veretax

Veretax — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 17:03:34 +0000

Wow, that’s what I’d call a case of winning the war, by killing the ‘enemy’ with kindness. Sorry if that sounds a bit muddled through but I totally understand. I ran into similar problems while I was still residing in the dorm at the university I attended.

By: Bill

Bill — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 20:25:01 +0000

RE: “The first step to creating a holy war is to completely vilify the enemy, rid him of all humanity and rid yourself of all empathy. Take away his back story, his perspective and rationale, his circumstance, his face if you can. Mask him in every evil deed he’s done, every hateful word he’s spoken, every wrong perpetrated against you and don’t - don’t ever - take that mask off. Wrap yourself in the warm black-and-white blankets of hatred and war and sleep well knowing you’re just and the other guy is everything but.”

I’m glad that you and Becky were able to reconcile with you neighbors. Is there a better way to breathe the grace of the gospel into their lives?

What I find appalling is when believers judge and condem each other and refuse to reconcile...refuse to meet each other where they should...at the foot of the cross to gaze upon the one who models forgiveness and reconciliation. Sadly, I’ve witnessed way too much of this judgement and condemnation in my own church over the past 6 years.

Two books that have helped me immensely are “The Peacemaker”, by Ken Sande and “Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands”, by Paul David Tripp.

By: Kevin Riner

Kevin Riner — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 03:32:25 +0000

Great story Shaun. Good stuff!!!!

By: The Secret Life of Kat

The Secret Life of Kat — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 03:16:17 +0000

Thanks for making me think…

By: jerri

jerri — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 22:01:11 +0000

I love how you and your family do life!

By: Scott

Scott — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 21:40:55 +0000

My old pastor in Tucson used to say “Look at people not for what they do, but for what they suffer”. Your wife was a perfect example of living this out. Thanks for sharing the story with us!

By: Tracy

Tracy — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:49:34 +0000

I love this story! Your wife amazes me!

By: Biblefanmaryann

Biblefanmaryann — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:05:25 +0000

And God sees behind the mask as though there were no mask at all!
God sees a precious life destroyed by sin. We see only sin.
It’s good to remember that everyone has a story and a reason for their behavior, and not be easily angered or prejudiced.

Thanks for the reminder!